We're back from Big Day Out (and a few days around)

We're back. Burnt. Bloated. And buzzing with a new site design. Methinks it needs a tagline, but I'm not that clever to come up with one. I mean, my neuroscience professor seems to disagree, as do my 2,148 oncology students who handstiched a "welcome back" doormat for me and organised a city-wide parade in my honour. But seriously, I'm no genius.

Ok coming up, Big Day Out reports, bargain bin finds and more site tweaks. Feel free to suggest anything you'd like to see. (Yes, that's talking to all twenty-two hundred million, six hundred and ninety seven thousand, three hundred and eleven people that read this blog every day. You're so special.)

New Buffalo - Come Back (from The Last Beautiful Day)

We're off to Big Day Out (and some other days around)

Toodleloo, mateys. See ya in 7, with tales, toils and a new site design. In no particular order, of course.

Yo La Tengo - Big Day Coming (from Painful)

Who's Who at Big Day Out 2008: Rage Against The Machine

This is Rage Against the Machine.

This is also rage against the machine.

That's all I needed to say.

Rage Against The Machine - Down Rodeo (from Evil Empire)

Who's Who at Big Day Out 2008: Arcade Fire

Some girls are so bloody annoying. I mean, just yesterday evening, while I was trying to wind down at the cafe with my "Get your hands off me! No! I said not now! Autographs start at 4.30 okay. Read the damn programme". Stupid schoolgirls. Where was I? Yes, I was at the cafe with a new book and my "Hey! Stop that. Don't ever touch me like that again. Geddit? Not there, like ever." Man, these trainee nurses are just so touchy-feely.

So I had my ipod playing. And my Neon Bible playlist was spinning. And when I looked up, I saw this flyer "What now? No, I do not want you to caress my vents. No. No, that's not what I said earlier. Earlier I said 'press my pants', not 'caress my vents'. I don't have vents. Stop laughing. Go learn English. Please, somebody take my French maid away."

Sorry about her. She's new. Anyway, so I saw this flyer right, and the flyer says that Arcade Fire is playing at "Go away! Seriously. When I want to renew my books, I'll call you alright? Just leave me alone. I'm trying to tell a story here. Good. Go far away." Where was I? Oh yeah, Arcade Fire's playing at Big Day Out, right. So I was... wait. Just a second.

"You left your pencil skirt again!"

So anyway, I was thinking, OMG. Arcade Fire. Can it really be? So I call my buddies and they were all like "Yeah man, I just read about... hold on mate, girls, can you just knock it off?". Know what I mean? It's crazy. So anyway, yeah. We're all going.

Arcade Fire - Power Out/Rebellion (Lies) (live at Orpheum, Boston)

Who's Who at Big Day Out 2008: Björk

If there was anything that is absolutely true about Björk, it is you should be utterly afraid of her.

I mean the woman beats up reporters for sport. Just the other day, I saw her sitting around some cafe, she appeared like she was trying to read Bobby and Jane Goes to School. Then she had this frustrated look. Like the book was difficult to read. Then she chucked the book aside grabbed some 10-year old boy with a camera and proceeded to beat the boy up. Sure, the boy was obviously not a reporter, but did she care? Of course not.

If the picture above hasn't already scared the holy shit out of you, then you my friend, are probably the bravest man on earth. Which should mean that should our world ever be overrun by zombies, you may just be our only defense. Because seriously, Björk could probably just make these weird cooing sounds, run around in a random pattern and sing a few lines from 'Vökuró' and every zombie brain will melt. I stress will, not maybe.

Björk - Aurora (from Vespertine)

Who's Who at Big Day Out 2008: Silverchair

Dear Daniel,

Growing up is a bitch. I know you know that. You've battled with depression, anorexia, arthritis, divorce, earth, wind and fire. You've joined the burgeoning numbers of those who yearn to enter into the realm of the unaged. You miss your bolster.

But you know what? I have your salvation. A few weeks ago, I received an an email that said "ETERNAL ELIXIR OF YOUTH!" It came from a Mr Zamundo Mgaberesbe from Congo, who said that he would post me his mystical potion, brewed in the deepest recesses of Congo's jungles. All I needed to do was deposit $20,000 in his bank account. So, Danny boy, I thought of you, sold my sister, and put the required dough in his account. And true to his word, Mr Mgaberesbe sent over a package a week later containing that a hallowed vial.

So here's the deal: At Big Day Out, just play 'Tomorrow'. Or 'Israel's Son'. Or 'Pure Massacre', or anything from Frogstomp that made my pube-free ass sit up and believe I was immortal. Screw maturity, and the shitpile that is Young Modern, and do the right thing. Do it, and the vial is yours.

C'mon, do it.

Do it.

Please.

Yours youthfully,
Pantsy

Silverchair - Tomorrow (from Frogstomp)

Who's Who at Big Day Out 2008: Spoon

This is Spoon

This is also Spoon

That's all I wanted to say

Spoon - Eddie's Ragga (from Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga)

Who's Who at Big Day Out 2008: Grinspoon

What the hell is a Grinspoon?, I once asked a friend.

You know what she said? "A spoon that grins". So stupid, right? That's what I thought. And then she showed me this:



So I said, that's not a spoon that grins. That's a spoon with a big smile. Then she said "Oh, sorry. Wrong spoon." So she pulls out this:



And I said "That's still not a spoon that grins! That's a spoon with an annoying smirk. It's not the same!"

So she was all like, "Oh dear, I'm such a klutz today" and all. So she rummages through her bag and pulls out this:



And yes, finally - a spoon that grins! I was so happy. I grabbed the spoon from her and said "Wow! Is this really it? A Grinspoon?"

That was when another friend came by and broke the news. "Stupid idiots!" he said, and he pulled out this:



I'm so distraught now. For a moment, I actually thought I was going to Melbourne to see a spoon that grins. This Big Day Out's turning out to be a real bloody waste of money, I tell you.

Grinspoon - Melted Holiday (from Alibis And Other Lies)

Who's Who at Big Day Out 2008: Enter Shikari

According to Wikipedia, 'shikari' means 'hunter' in Persian, Hindi, Nepali, Urdu and Punjabi. Which suggests that with a band name like Enter Shikari, these Brit synthcore chaps are positioning those searing songs of shriektronica against a bushy jungle backdrop, inviting us to conjure up images of some khaki-donning heroic dude scouring through mosquito-infested Borneo in search of that vicious creature that is terorrising those peaceloving villagers at night.

Ok, so let's put it to the test then:

(Puts on headphones. Plays 'OK, Time For Plan B'. Four minutes and 54 seconds later, song ends. Puts down headphones. Picks up pet Malayan Tapir. Brings her to Babyland, buys her a fuchsia bib, and a pair of pleated socks. Reads The Complete Adventures of Curious George to her. Puts her to bed.)

They're right. Totally rawks man.

Enter Shikari - OK, Time For Plan B (from Take To The Skies)

Who's Who at Big Day Out 2008: Dappled Cities

You know what's the best part about discovering a new band? It isn't the surge of satisfaction you get afterwards when they become snobbish rock stars. It isn't the karate chops you get to dish out when someone tells you "Hey their second album's really good", when it's really their 20th. It isn't even the incomparable burst of excitement that envelopes your hairy back when you discover they're playing at a festival that you're attending.

Nah, the best part about discovering a new band is the battalion of Gundam robots that fly over your head the moment you do. What, you mean that's never happened to you before? Poor thing. The precise moment I first heard Dappled Cities—it was high noon on the fourth day of war and I was just about to lop my 30th grenade at enemy troops when the jangly restrains of 'Fire Fire Fire' shot through the air—at least 240 Gundam bots burst through the clouds and laced napalm on a poor soddy group of helpless enemy soldiers. Granted, I was in a war, and there were about 6,000 Gundam robots zipping around. In fact they were about as common as mutated lizards in Japan or inaudible dialogue in a Stallone movie or beards in the Bible.

Dappled Cities - Fire Fire Fire (from Granddance)

Who's Who at Big Day Out 2008: Augie March

You know what's the best part about discovering a new band? It isn't the surge of satisfaction you get afterwards when they go big. It isn't the snarky finger-pointing you get to do when someone tells you "Have you heard of...?" It isn't even the incomparable burst of excitement that envelopes your toenails when you discover they're playing at a festival that you're attending.

Nah, the best part about discovering a new band is the flock of seagulls that fly over your head the moment you do. What, you mean that's never happened to you before? Poor thing. The precise moment I first heard Augie March—it was one sunny Aussie afternoon, when Triple J blasted 'Men Who Follow Spring The Planet 'Round'—at least 24 seagulls burst through the clouds and perched themselves on the ledge of a nearby pier. Granted, I was at the beach, and my mates were feeding chicken to another flock of gulls nearby (yeah, those bipeds are freakin' cannibals). And plus, I vaguely recall another flock shooting by when 'We Built This City' came on. And another bunch when some John Tesh number popped up. And another when this 4-year-old blew his clarinet...

Details, lads, details. God is in the canvas.

Augie March - The Honey Mouth (from Moo, You Bloody Choir)

Who's Who at Big Day Out 2008: Brand New

I used to have a brand new camera about four years ago.

It was a Nikon, semi-automatic rifle ... oh I mean semi-automatic camera. Apologies, my mind often drifts to coolness. Must be some habit I picked up during Photon Cannon 102 in Kick Ass University.

Anyways, I had this camera. I only used it like three times and someone stole it through my window. It still baffles me how they did it seeing as I purposely placed it at the other end of the room.

Did I turn to violence for justice? No, I just sat and prayed. Yes, I can be quite spiritual. I've been dedicating at least 10-minutes of my daily prayer time to praying about this issue? What have I been praying? I've been praying that whoever who took the camera, piss razors until they drop dead. I am not quite sure if my prayers have been answered.

Brand New - Sic Transit Gloria ... Glory Fades (from Deja Entendu)

Big Day Out 2008: Final lineup announced

So Big Day Out completes its lineup announcements with a city-specific bunch of local acts. On paper, there should be something for everyone, but evidently some papers are thicker than others. True to form, Sydney has the chubby 260mg sheet, with Dappled Cities, Bridezilla and Belles Will Ring. Melbourne can yippee over Love Of Diagrams, Auckland has Shocking Pinks, Perth seems decently placated with old fogies The Stems, and Gold Coast can at least wiggle a lil' with Dead Letter circus. And Adelaide? Umm... City Riots? Oh oh, the wine is killer up north! And olive groves down south are the bomb! And those cherry orchards out in the hills!

Bah.

AUCKLAND:
Missing Teeth, Shocking Pinks, MU, Dick Magik Johnson, The Exiles, The Electric Confectionaries, Battle Circus, Surf City, False Start, The Kingsland Vinyl Appreciation Society, The Lookie Loos, Kerretta, All Left Out, Pig Out and Solstate

GOLD COAST:
Brothablack, Tucker, Behind Crimson Eyes, Afro Dizzi Act, Lynchmada, Dead Letter Circus, Iron On, Yves Klien Blue, The Kindness of Strangers, Black Market Rhythm Co, Johnny G, Roger That, Mia Carla, Bark At the Moon, Segue, Nick Galea, Pony Loaf, Grass Roots Street Orchestra, Rhythm Colission Sound, The Gin Club plus triple j unearthed winner

SYDNEY:
Brothablack, Tucker, Behind Crimson Eyes, Dappled Cities, Eddy Current Suppression Ring, The Tongue, Hard-Ons, Expatriate, Bridezilla, Mercy Arms, Belles Will Ring, Funktrust, Mark Walton Fretless, Poxymusic, Grafton Primary, John Ferris, Soft Tigers, Stick Figures, Ben Morris, Kobra Kai, Aston Shuffle plus triple j unearthed winner

MELBOURNE:
Brothablack, Tucker, Behind Crimson Eyes, Dappled Cities, Eddy Current Suppression Ring, Pegz, Children Collide, Love of Diagrams, Game Boy Game Girl, Mammal, J-Nett, Muph & Plutonic, T-Rek, Galvatrons, Spacey Space DJ, Mountains In the Sky, Miso, DJ Sunshine plus triple j unearthed winner

ADELAIDE:
Brothablack, Tucker, Behind Crimson Eyes, Vents, King Daddy, City Riots, New Season Black, Soft White Machine, The Johnwoodsband, Delta, MPK, Leader Cheetah, The Swiss, Lady Strabgelove, Master Celebrator, Forner Child Stars, Skeletons plus triple j unearthed winner

PERTH:
The Stems, The Dirty Secrets, Dyscord, Sex Panther, The Harlequin League, Will Stoker and the Embers, Captains of King, The Watts, The Takers, J.Nitrous, DJ Sardi, Petrosex plus triple j unearthed winner

Dappled Cities - Colour Coding (from Granddance)
Bridezilla - St Francine (from Bridezilla EP)
Belles Will Ring - The Coldest Heart (from Mood Patterns)
Love Of Diagrams - Pace Or The Patience (from Mosaic)
Shocking Pinks - End Of The World (from Shocking Pinks)
Dead Letter Circus - Disconnect & Apply (from Dead Letter Circus EP)
City Riots - My Favourite T-Shirt (from City Riots EP)

Who's who at Big Day Out 2008: Midnight Juggernauts

Right now, Melbourne's electropop act Midnight Juggernauts have just about everything under control. Their electropop sound will churn up the sweat cloud at BDO's dance tent. Their post-BDO tour will send nationwide sales of synths up by 4382%. And Vincent will land himself a spot on Neighbours, as Delta Goodrem's amnesiac half-brother.

So there's only one thing left for them to do then: get rid of the "s" at the back of their name. How dare anyone imagine that Juggernauts can exist in the plural form! Do these chaps know anything about Juggernauts? Everyone knows that Juggernauts never come in twos! Sharing is the antithesis of Juggernauts' very existence! Juggernauts always bash bozos alone, never together. Hey, what the heck? My last five sentences had "s" at the end of Juggernauts! Oh no, now my last six sentences about Juggernauts has "s"! OH NO, SEVEN! AAAA...

It's Friday. Gimme a break.

Midnight Juggernauts - Dystopia (from Dystopia)

Who's Who at Big Day Out 2008: Kate Nash

When I first caught a glimpse of her video for her breakthrough single 'Mouthwash', I thought Nash was Jenny Lewis, the irrepressible indie sex siren. But alas the tea-friendly British accent gave her away.

But then again these days, I have supposedly been mistaking things. Like recently I tried to pan-fry my dog until my dad stopped me. And I already had the bloody buns and lettuces ready. What a shame. Or how I tried to kiss this girl in some mall the other day, thinking she was Petra only to find out she was not so I got slapped. Just in case you didn't know, if it was Petra, I wouldn't have gotten slapped. Or how that day I thought I saw Conan, Genghis, Vic Mackey, the Incredible Hulk and Destro on my front lawn, having a beer and I got pissed off. So I went out there and proceeded to beat the crap out of each them until they were all begging for mercy and crying like little ninnies only to find out that they were in actual fact Conan, Genghis, Vic Mackey, the Incredible Hulk and Destro.

Did I mention I was badass?

Kate Nash - Foundations (from Made of Bricks)

Who's Who at Big Day Out 2008: Dizzee Rascal

I am convinced that British rappers have zero ability when it comes to picking a name. I mean, they've got the bump and grime down pat, and the consonant-dropping flow that will always garner critical drool on all ends of the Atlantic, Pacific, Arctic, Indian, Caspian and Mordorific. But c'mon: The Streets? Plan B?? Sway???

So, in the name of altruism, I have decided to assist Dylan Mills by redeeming his alter ego Dizzee Rascal, thus provide him with a far zippier moniker to match those Mercury-nomming rhymes and dimes that he can't help dropping. The goal: to present the ultimate bitch of a name to him, right before he takes the stage at Big Day Out. The side goal: to be invited to his after-party, where the hunnies and the... heck, what happens there is none of your business.

Anyways, to aid me in my World Vision-like endeavour, I have enlisted the help of Rap Star Name, Hiphop-Rapture and My Rap Name—flawlessly crafted rap name generators destined to produce a result that will send the bling to the ceiling. The ho to the down low. The jammers to the slammers.

The results, pronto!

Rap Star Name:


Hiphop-Rapture:


My Rap Name:


Shit. 'K fine, forget it. Dizzee, you got two months.

Dizzee Rascal - U Can't Tell Me Nuffin' (from Maths + English)

Who's Who at Big Day Out 2008: LCD Soundsystem

Oh isn't this exciting.

Is this the new thing? To name yourself after a combination of electrical equipment classifications? Gives you that cold urban slickness that just goes oh so well with being on the forefront of the electro clash/dance punk movement? In any case, it beats naming yourself James Murphy. It's slick like those huge ancient Nokia phones that used to be able to double up as machetes. I would sit down and talk about the time I killed 500 people, Megatron, Cobra Commander and that short dude from Goodfellas with just one of them Nokia phones but I have no time. Have to rush off to save Mars, they just placed a Help Desk call. Yeah, I do galaxy calls these days. Earth can be so boring sometimes.

Anyways, back to the name. If so, I choose Dishwasher Microwave Hair-Straightener. Oh, that's been taken? Bloody cool bastard there. Okay, then I go for Oven Vacuum Cleaner Water Dispenser. Cool huh? Cool huh? Huh huh huh.

LCD Soundsystem - Daft Punk is Playing at My House (from LCD Soundsystem)

Who's Who at Big Day Out 2008: Battles

Q: What do you get when you put the ex-drummer of legendary NY post-hardcore band Helmet, together with ex-Lynx guitarist Dave Konopka and ex-Don Caballero guitarist Ian Williams and this other dude whose father just so happens to be legendary avant-garde jazz musician Anthony Braxton?

A: A legendary Lynx named Don who just so happens to like wearing a helmet. Funny huh? Funny huh? Huh huh.

And yes, in case I still need to say it - that's way cooler than being a butt-kicking progressive instrumental avant-rock band

Battles - Atlas (from Mirrored)

BDO - Second Announcement

Yes, it has finally come. After weeks on end of anticipation, illumination and err ... castration on who will be part of the second announcement, the day has finally arrived (cue LOTR/Jurassic Park soundtrack).

At least two out of three of ye Pirates are slightly miffed that Corgan hasn't quite signed on the dotted line yet but hey, we've got Britt Daniel and seriously we ain't complaining. Then there's UNKLE (no not your Uncle Sunny that likes to dig his nose and wipe it on his disgustingly short beige shorts), the British trip hop troupe that's bringing their live set for some neon-bathing. And, we have the delectably-British lass Kate Nash to serenade to us about Friday nights and err ... parts of her anatomy. Plus, Pantsy is particularly stoked that Augie March, his favorite band from the land of kangaroos and cheap beer, has made the bill as well.

For the third announcement I wish for ... Petra Nemcova. Oh she's not a singer? It's okay, we can take care of that easy. Either that or Optimus Prime. What? He's a robot and he doesn't bloody sing? Ah, my wayward underlings let me put it into perspective for you. If there was a giant robot, that could transform into a huge red truck, doing his thang in front of ya, would you be caring if Arcade Fire was playing 'No Cars Go' on the stage? I thought not. Optimus please.

Full list from the second announcement:

Spoon, Brand New, Anti-Flag, Carl Cox, Kate Nash, Shy Child, Enter Shikari, Operator Please, UNKLE (live), Dynamite MC, The Nightwatchman (Tom Morello solo), Augie March (Australia only), Regurgitator (Australia only), Karnivool (Australia only), PNAU (Australia only), Josh Pyke (Australia only), Bexta (Australia only), Gyroscope (Australia only), Goodwill (Australia only), Die! Die! Die! (New Zealand and East Coast only), Blue King Brown (East Coast Australia only), Dr. Octagon with Kutmaster Kurt (New Zealand and East Coast only), Aceyalone (New Zealand and East Coast only), British India (Australia only), Krill (Australia only)

Spoon - You Got Yr. Cherry Bomb (from Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga)
Kate Nash - Mouthwash (from Made of Bricks)
UNKLE (featuring Thom Yorke) - Rabbit in Your Headlights (from Psyence Fiction)
Augie March - One Crowded Hour (from Moo, You Bloody Choir)
Die! Die ! Die! - Auckland is Burning (from Die! Die! Die!)

Who's who at Big Day Out 2008: Faker

Ok, so in Faker's 11 years of existence, it has rotated through 23 different band members, and has come across sounding like a chuckaway hybrid from some cloning exercise involving Alex Kapronos and Kele Okereke, with a couple of cells pinched from Gavin Rossdale's cheekbone to complete frontman Nathan Hudson's mug. And yes, their debut Addicted Romantic's cover was a piss-bad rendition of Gavin DeGraw post-barroom brawl.

Still, there is enough here to be festival worthy. Which means it's all good. So how does one marry the "Where have I heard this before" bitch with the "My festival ass will shake to anything remotely punk" stud? With a good ol' fashioned Moroccan garden wedding, that's how. Make sure it comes complete with 16 flower girls and 24 ringbearers, and involves plenty of monkey-shaped lanterns. And if that doesn't ensure an slug-free procession, at least the reception is still redeemable with generous helpings of camel kurma and cuscus.

Faker - Enough (from Addicted Romantic)