15 YEARS OLD???
Link: www.muziic.com
Meursault - Lament For A Teenage Millionaire (from Pissing On Bonfires/Kissing With Tongues)
The League of Rock. Has there been a badder, asser name for a new music initiative than this? Apparently it's like some community for people who were never in bands to spend 10 weeks of their life pretending their in a band, and they get to tour and record and...Oh, who gives a monkey's tail about what it does! It's the frakking League of Rock! Like, fugghetabout wussy names like LaLa or Pandora. It's the MF League Of MF Rock, y'all.
With Musebin, you can review albums in 140 letters. Hey look, I still got 66 letters! Hey, they count punctuation too! Thatsbloodyunfairman.
Twones and Tony Player are specifically engineered to give you the complete music experience. The former tracks every song you play (as long as you're online), and then creates a timeline of your play history which can then be shared with the Twones community. The latter then builds playlists from different timelines, and when you visit a club that uses this system, you just send a text to register yourself, and your playlists are sent to the DJ who then picks his set based on your listening preferences.
Since the world is going to the pits, I've decided to perform social duty #3,247,289 and share with everyone six things you can do with one pound. All with one pound.
You know, it like totally befuddles me why until now, music has never come with slots. I just don't get why some Macau tycoon never conceived of slotMusic, and had to leave it to some nerdy data storage company to do it. It's such a novel concept. You put in some coins, pull a lever, and watch the fruits whiz by. Get three pomelos, and you get access to Arcade Fire rarities; three pineapples, and it's your meat and potatoes Neon Bible; and three watermelons gets you Kellie Pickler covering 'No Cars Go'.
The suffix "naut" is used to describe someone who explores. Following such logic, I'd like to give this most essential English lesson to explain how such a linguistic tool is used. After going through this, you will have no choice but to agree with me that English is thoroughly fascinating, and that I am W.H. Auden reincarnated. Call me the Audster. I drive an Audi. Hyuk hyuk.
You know, I can never quite figure out why people are so preoccupied with figuring out the name of songs. Take Shazam, for example. It's probably the most buzzed iPhone application around right now, because it allows people to hold up their iPhone to any song being played anywhere, and in a few seconds it will be instantly identified, with bonus links to purchase it in iTunes or share it to buddies via email.
In case you never knew, most musicians reside in camps. No, not those "leeches sucking on your peaches" kinda camps. I'm talking about genre camps. There's the squeal metal camp, for example, whose residents boil eggs in 20 seconds. Then there's the pulpy pop camp, whose eggs are only fried wobbly 365 days a year, 1,456,893 years a lifetime. There's also the indie rock camp, who never eat their eggs but instead use them to fry their neighbours' sleeping bags, before blending that with caterpillars and sucking the resulting mix through their armpits.
The Wknd Sessions establishes three unalienable truths about life:
Even though we Pirates won't be present at this year's Glastonbury (or the next, or the one after that and the 38 after that, any trannies sponsoring, we make good pavlovas), our inner altruists just can't help but ensure that all you festival-going, Pyramid Stage-fronting, mushroom-popping, Jay-Z dissing — WHO AM I KIDDING??? Bloody spoilt punks who live in that part of the world!!! Eavis, you dweeb! Why can't you ferry over a tenth of them acts this way, huh??!? — people receive premium info, straight from the bellies of us, the always forgiving, never envying, fully understanding pirates.
So the first round of games are officially over. And as is standard practice for football nerds globally, the debate begins as to who has been the star performers of the championships so far.
Yes, him. It's not because I'm a obsessive Swiss fan who watched every minute of their snipped campaign. Nor is it because I have a closet fetish for footballers with exotic names (though Jerko Leko also got me going for a couple'a moments).
England's Green Man Festival has invited all bands to join a comp that entitles the winning band to be the opening act of the fest, which will take place in mid-August and features Super Furry Animals, Spiritualized, Iron and Wine and The National, among others. The contest's mechanics are truly 2.0: bands get votes, the most voted band gets the slot and six free tickets, and one voter wins two tix.
To you, the card-carrying member of that corner of the hip-hop digging populace that daily bemoans the murder of your genre by pussy-faced practitioners and their faux-thuggin' swipes, bemoan no longer. Premiere hip-hop program the Wake Up Show has teamed up with social networking/music discovering site urSESSION — the self-proclaimed "Sundance of the music industry" — to give unsigned rappers America-wide the chance to flaunt their flow on top of some body-rocking beats. Called the 100K Battle, it features 28 beats produced by DJ giants like Pete Rock, Alchemist and the late J Dilla, all of which are freely available for MCs to download and spit their Spartacus over. The winner — determined by online voting — gets $5,000, a round trip to LA, an appearance on the Wake Up Show and a chance to bump 'n grind with some MC-hunting agent.
I know why mixtapes are back in fashion. Because they go well with jockstraps, which are also back in fashion.
So apparently it's music festival season. If you're the fanatic who considers a gap in the daily schedule as sacreligious as Obama becoming Republican, then you can stop reading (but if you do, I'll chop your balls). But if you're the type that was forced to accompany your ball-less fanatic to the fest but you had no idea why 65DaysofStatic were such a big deal (and why their keyboard was missing a space bar), well lad(d)y, we've got your salvation.
There are three reasons why Scottish beer is unlike any other beer in the world.
I seriously like consuming things in small portions.
I've made some killer mixtapes in my time. When I was 12, I combined avocado, carrot and apricot with a copy of Vitalogy, and blended it to throat-soothing perfection. Then when I turned 21, I took my cousin's Abbey Road reissue and added cranberry juice, turkey breast and my uncle's nine iron. I'm telling you, it was fully swingin', mate.












