Let's get lyrical, lyrical: David Bazan - Lost My Shape

You used to feel like a smoker
Shivering in the cold
Waiting outside the bar
Until the opener's over
But now you feel like a drinker
Twenty days off the shots
Down at the liquor store
Trying to call your sponsor

You used to feel like a forest fire burning
But now you feel like a child
Throwing tantrums for your turn

You used to feel like a prophet
And everyone wanted to know
How you could tell the truth
Without losing that soft glow
But now you feel like a preacher
Evoking the flames of Hell
Some drunk fisherman
Chasing after the white whale

You used to feel like the prodigal returning
But now you hate what you've made
And you want to watch it burn

Just want to also say at this point of time that I used to feel like a chicken, frying in a fryer. I also used to feel like a pig, watching my knuckles braised. Why did I feel the need to express that? Cause I am hungry. And when I am hungry, I write poetic words. Either that, or I pick up slingshot and start shooting the children but my wife's not happy about me doing that, especially since they are not even my kids.

David Bazan - Lost My Shape (from Curse Your Branches)

Let's get lyrical, lyrical: Tokyo Police Club - Listen to the Math

You've been famous since your birth
And a silent one it was,
Til they told me it was a girl
And everybody gasped

I know how to raise you right
Teach you how to read
And your maths and alphabet
And how to be polite

You've been famous since your birth
And a silent one it was,
Til they told me it was a girl
And everybody said

You and your atlas know it all
Let the corners curl
Cause if you go by night
You'll hit the coast for sure

It's a ruse, it's a laugh
Experts, they'd agree
Listen to the math
Australopithecine,
Rekindle your heart
These hospital machines
Are state of the art

I've put down my middle name
In the back of her book
And signed it just in case
Our walk was over love

Cause I've got one more up my sleeve
Bring it out tonight
Cause if I am the joke
Then you're the punchline

It's a ruse, it's a laugh
Experts, they'd agree
Listen to the math
Australopithecine,
Rekindle your heart
These hospital machines
Are state of the art

But it's the art of the state
That's gonna keep me awake
I need a second opinion
Not a second to waste

I listen to the math all the time. Like how I am hearing now that 'Australopithecine' is actually an Australian optician who's also into medicine. Oh wait, that's not math. Ah yes, what I heard before was that, 1 Olivia Wilde + 1 Olivia Wilde = 2 Olivia Wildes and 2 Olivia Wildes divided by 2 = me in the middle. What's that Uncle Sunny? Huh ...? 4 Olivia Wildes are better?

Yeah of course, that too.

Tokyo Police Club - Listen to the Math (from Elephant Shell)

Let's get lyrical, lyrical: Dylan Mondegreen - Girl in Grass

When your girlfriend let you down
Made you the laughing-stock of town
A minor mistake caused major heartache

When your friend forgot to show
And you stood there all alone
A small detail was added to a trail

Of bad affairs
Of people who don't seem to care
But when your heart breaks you feel the sweetest ache

In a riot of colour you see blue
and you'd like the world to tremble for you
Still your eyes may twinkle just like stars
when Ginger's lying flat out on the grass

Put your favourite t-shirt on
and let summer come along
Rejoice in the photograph
of girl in grass

You may be charmed on Saturday
Feel smitten on Sunday
Now monday's here and you're caught by fear

So you hibernate indoors
Spend all day in bed because
Every petty fling seems like the greatest thing

Since bread came sliced
or at least since Bread sang Yours For Life
You want your heart to break to feel the sweetest ache

In a riot of colour you see blue
and you'd like the world to tremble for you
Still your eyes may twinkle just like stars
when Ginger's lying flat out on the grass

Put your favourite t-shirt on
and let summer come along
Rejoice in the photograph
of girl in grass

Now here's a man who understands value in a mustache. Because only a person who takes his 'tache' seriously would cite Bread in his/her song. Cause the way I see it, Bread's 40% songs, 60% mustache. I found myself growing one as I was listening to their songs.

Ha ha, got you, no I did not grow a mustache from listening to some AOR song. That would be ridiculous. I mean, jeez, seriously. Listening, then growing a mustache? That's positively insane.

I grew a new layer of armpit hair and my pubes curled.

That's the truth. Pfft ... mustache.

Dylan Mondegreen - Girl in Grass (from While I Walk You Home)

Let's get lyrical, lyrical (World Cup edition): New Order - World in Motion

Express yourself, create the space
You know you can win, don't give up the chase
Beat the man, take him on
You never give up, its one on one

(Express yourself) It's one on one
(Express yourself) It's one on one
(Express yourself) You can't be wrong
(Express yourself) When something's good its never gone

Loves got the world in motion and I know what we can do
Loves got the world in motion and I can't believe its true

Now is the time, let everyone see
You never give up, that's how it should be
Don't get caught, make your own play
Express yourself, don't give it away

(Express yourself) It's one on one
(Express yourself) It's one on one
(Express yourself) You can't be wrong
(Express yourself) When something's good its never gone

Loves got the world in motion and I know what we can do
Loves got the world in motion and I can't believe its true
Loves got the world in motion and I know what we can do
Loves got the world in motion and I can't believe its true

You've got to hold and give but do it at the right time
You can be slow or fast but you must get to the line
They'll always hit you and hurt you, defend and attack
There's only one way to beat them, get round the back
Catch me if you can cos I'm the England man
And what you're looking at is the master plan
We ain't no hooligans, this ain't no football song
Three lions on my chest, I know we can't go wrong

We're playing for England (In-ger-land)
We're playing the song
We're singing for England (In-ger-land)
Arrivederci its one on one

Two things are clear to me now. Firstly, this song is probably the reason why England did so decently in the 1990 World Cup. Reason? Cause you can only hear one on one so many times before you start putting those chances away. Secondly, Bernard Sumner is almost as kick-ass as I am. I mean, it's no mean feat to have three lions on your chest and still get up and say 'we can't go wrong'. I only narrowly beat him by having 3 and a half lions on my chest. Sun dried lion torsos do count, kid. Better luck next time.

New Order - World in Motion (from The Best of New Order)

Let's get lyrical, lyrical: American Music Club - Goodbye to Love (The Carpenters)

I'll say goodbye to love
No one ever cared if I should live or die
Time and time again the chance for love has passed me by
And all I know of love is how to live without it
I just can't seem to find it

So I've made my mind up
I must live my life alone
And though it's not the easy way
I guess I've always known

I'd say goodbye to love
There are no tomorrows for this heart of mine
Surely time will lose these bitter memories
And I'll find that there is someone to believe in
And to live for something I could live for

All the years of useless search
Have finally reached an end
Loneliness and empty days will be my only friend
From this day love is forgotten
I'll go on as best I can

What lies in the future is a mystery to us all
No one can predict the wheel of fortune as it falls
There may come a time when I will see that I've been wrong
But for now this is my song

And it's goodbye to love

I'll say goodbye to love

This version of the classic depressing song reminds me of the time a couple of year ago when I was minding my own business, feeling damn sorry for myself for turning Christina Hendricks lunch offer down, eating a cheap Popsicle, heading back to a lonely house when all of a sudden, out of the blue, I was bitten by a raccoon. I mean, who's heard of a heel-biting raccoon anyway? Just as I was fighting it off, a horse galloped by and trampled all over me (the raccoon still lodged in my leg). And while I was on the floor, trying to pick myself up and wondering why a horse would be running wild in the middle of a city, aliens invaded us and made us slaves for the next decade. That is until I picked myself up from the floor and rescued the world (hee yah).

American Music Club - Goodbye to Love (from V/A If I Were a Carpenter)

Let's get lyrical, lyrical: The Fratellis - Whistle for the Choir

Well it's a big big city and it's always the same
Can never be too pretty tell me you your name
Is it out of line if I was to be bold and say "Would you be mine"?

Because I may be a beggar and you may be the queen
I know I may be on a downer am still ready to dream
Now it's 3 o'clock the time is just the time it takes for you to talk

So if you're lonely why'd you say you're not lonely
Oh you're a silly girl, I know I hurt it so
It's just like you to come
And go and know me no you don't even know me
You're so sweet to try, oh my, you caught my eye
A girl like you's just irresistible

Well it's a big big city and the lights are all out
But it's much as I can do you know to figure you out
And I must confess, my hearts in broken pieces
And my heads a mess
And it's 4 in the morning, and I'm walking along
Beside the ghost of every drinker here who has ever done wrong
And it's you, woo hoo
That's got me going crazy for the things you do

So if you're crazy I don't care you amaze me
Oh you're a stupid girl, oh me, oh my, you talk
I die, you smile, you laugh, I cry
And only, a girl like you could be lonely
And it's a crying shame, if you would think the same
A boy like me's just irresistible

So if your lonely, why'd you say you're not lonely
Oh you're a silly girl, I know I hurt it so
It's just like you to come and go
And know me, no you don't even know me
You're so sweet to try oh my, you caught my eye
A girl like you's just irresistible

The only thing I am thinking while reading the lyrics to this song is how the hell did a beggar come up to a queen and ask if she was lonely. Within 30 feet of her some secret agent or those guards with the large black heads should've stir-fried his balls with a deep-fryer where he stood. Man, things used to be a lot more efficient back in the days. Yes I did say he will 'stir-fry' in a 'deep-fryer', if you did not catch how awesome that was, you my dear sir/madam, are a zombie.

The Fratellis - Whistle for the Choir (from Costello Music)

Let's get lyrical, lyrical: Anthony and the Johnsons - Bird Gehrl

I am a bird girl now
I've got my heart
Here in my hands now
I've been searching
For my wings some time

I'm gonna be born
Into soon the sky

'Cause I'm a bird girl
And the bird girls go to heaven
I'm a bird girl
And the bird girls can fly
Bird girls can fly

Wow this song's such a twehrl. As in you know, it spins well. I mean, twehrling is actually very different from whehrling. I am not sure what the difference is but I do know that as of now, I cannot spell.

For the record, this song's really about stating the obvious - bird girls can fly, cow boys can moo and geek dongs are long. Okay the last one may only be true in regards to me.

Anthony and the Johnsons - Bird Gehrl (from I Am A Bird Now)

Let's get lyrical, lyrical: The Smashing Pumpkins - Mayonaise

Fool enough to almost be it
Cool enough to not quite see it
Doomed
Pick your pockets full of sorrow
And run away with me tomorrow
June

We'll try and ease the pain
But somehow we'll feel the same
Well, no one knows
Where our secrets go

I send a heart to all my dearies
When your life is so, so dreary
Dream
I'm rumored to the straight and narrow
While the harlots of my perils
Scream

And I fail
But when I can, I will
Try to understand
That when I can, I will

Mother weep the years I'm missing
All our time can't be given
Back
Shut my mouth and strike the demons
That cursed you and your reasons
Out of hand and out of season
Out of love and out of feeling
So bad

When I can, I will
Words defy the plan
When I can, I will

Fool enough to almost be it
And cool enough to not quite see it
And old enough to always feel this
Always old, I'll always feel this

No more promise no more sorrow
No longer will I follow
Can anybody hear me
I just want to be me
When I can, I will
Try to understand
That when I can, I will

Ah Billy Corgan is a smart man. Not content with his fixation for BBB (Blonde Bombshell Bassists), he's gone on to write a whole song about him wanting to be well, him. But I see where he is going with on this one. It's a 'nothing'. He can't be him because he 'is' him. Just like how no one else can be me because I am awesomest maximus (Greek translation: Can bed 20 women at a go). Slightly different but largely the same.

Do I want to be Billy Corgan? Me? Hmm ... sure why not? Pass me the shaver ...

*Buzz*

I am Billy Corgan (said in troll-like voice). Bow unto me for I am bald, and I sing like Gollum (might even look like Gollum). Bow ... shit is that Courtney Love? This shit's too difficult for me, bye.

The Smashing Pumpkins - Mayonaise (from Siamese Dream)

Let's get lyrical, lyrical: Teenage Fanclub - Bandwagonesque

She wears denim wherever she goes
Says she's gonna get some records by the Status Quo
Oh yeah ... Oh yeah ...

Still she won't be forced against her will
Says she don't do drugs but she does the pill
Oh yeah ... Oh yeah ...

I didn't want to hurt you oh yeah ...
I didn't want to hurt you oh yeah ...

Says she likes my hair 'cause it's down my back
Says she likes the group 'cause we pull in the slack
Oh yeah ... Oh yeah ...

When she's at the gig she takes her car
And she drive us home if it is in a bar
Oh yeah ... Oh yeah ...

I didn't want to hurt you oh yeah ...
I didn't want to hurt you oh yeah ...

I have a short attention span. How short? I once shot a McDs drive-thru employee because she took eight-seconds to put my pack together. Eight-bloody seconds. Do you know what I can do with eight-bloody seconds? I could kick someone's nuts.

So yeah, I don't intend on reading lyrics too much but okay lets see what this song's about. There appears to be many mentions of 'yeah'. And a mention of 'denim'. Swell, I think this is a song about a sexy girl in denim. Yeah ... (like 'yeah').

Shit, there is also a mention of Status Quo. God, I think this is a song about gays. I'm gonna go puke now.

Teenage Fanclub - The Concept (from Bandwagonesque)

Let's get lyrical, lyrical: Broken Social Scene - Anthems for a Seventeen Year-Old Girl

Used to be one of the rotten ones and he liked you for that.
Used to be one of the rotten ones and he liked you for that.
Used to be one of the rotten ones and I liked you for that.

Now you're all gone got your make-up on and you're not coming back.
Can't you come back?

Used to be one of the rotten ones and I liked you for that.
Used to be one of the rotten ones and I liked you for that.
Used to be one of the rotten ones and I liked you for that.

Now you're all gone got your make-up on and you're not coming back.

Bleaching your teeth, smiling flash, talking trash, under your breath.
Bleaching your teeth, smiling flash, talking trash, under your breath.
Bleaching your teeth, smiling flash, talking trash, under your breath.
Bleaching your teeth, smiling flash, talking trash, under my window.

Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me.
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me.
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me.
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me.
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me.
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me.
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me.
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me.
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me.
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me.
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me.
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me.
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me.

Park that car, drop that phone.
Park that car, dream about me.
Park that car, drop that phone.
Park that car, dream about me.
Park that car, drop that phone.

Used to be one of the rotten ones and I liked you for that.
Now you're all gone got your make-up on and you're not coming back.

Kevin: I'm in a mood to cheat someone
Emily: But you cheat someone everyday
Kevin: Oh I do? When was the last time I cheated?
Emily: Like 5-minutes ago, when you told Leslie that you're Superman and that she might be Lois?
Kevin: He he, that's a good one eh?
Emily: So what are you thinking of doing?
Kevin: Oh you know, write some lazy song that repeats a line about a million times and tag 'Seventeen Year-Old Girl' to the title. Should be a hit
Emily: You think that will work?
Kevin: Not sure about the song but a 'Seventeen Year-Old Girl' will always work
Emily: You mean as a hit?
Kevin: No as in just work in general
Emily: Oh ... cause you're Superman?
Kevin: You're damn right Mary Jane
Emily: You mean Lois
Kevin: The same thing

Broken Social Scene - Anthems for a Seventeen Year-Old Girl (from You Forgot It In People)

Let's get lyrical, lyrical: Wilco - She's a Jar

She's a jar
With a heavy lid
My pop quiz kid
A sleepy kisser
A pretty war
With feelings hid
She begs me not to miss her

She says forever
To light a fuse
We could use
A hand full of wheel
And a day off
And a bruised road
However you might feel
Tonight is real

When I forget how to talk, I sing
Wont you please
Bring that flash to shine
And turn my eyes red
Unless they close
When you click
And my face gets sick
Stuck
Like a question unposed

Just climb aboard
The tracks of a trains arm
In my fragile family tree
And watch me floating inches above
The people under me

Please beware the quiet front yard
I warned you
Before there were water skies
I warned you not to drive
Dry your eyes, you poor devil

Are there really ones like these?
The ones I dream
Float like leaves
And freeze to spread skeleton wings
I passed through before I knew you

I believe it's just because
Daddy's payday is not enough
Oh, I believe it's all because
Daddy's payday is not enough

Just climb aboard
The tracks of a trains arm
In my fragile family tree
And watch me floating inches above
The people under me

She's a jar
With a heavy lid
My pop quiz kid
A sleepy kisser
A pretty war
With feelings hid
You know she begs me not to hit her

Jeff Tweedy sure knows his way around words. Rather then spend time digging up lovely adjectives to call his woman, he decides to just call her a household appliance. It's brilliant. No more 'honey pie' or 'resplendent angel' anymore in this world, replaced by 'vacuum cleaner' and 'garden hose'.

I've decided that the next girl I marry, I will call her 'detergent', and the one after that can be 'washing machine', and the one after that can be 'clothes dryer'. Thematically, we should be a pretty happy family.

Wilco - She's a Jar (from Summerteeth)

Let's get lyrical, lyrical: Bright Eyes - We Are Nowhere and It's Now

If you hate the taste of wine
Why do you drink it till you're blind?
And if you swear that there's no truth and who cares
How come you say it like you're right?
Why are you scared to dream of God
When it's salvation that you want?
You see stars that clear have been dead for years
But the idea just lives on

In our wheels that roll around
As we move over the ground
And all day it seems we've been in between
A past and future town

We are nowhere and it's now
We are nowhere and it's now

And like a ten minute dream in the passenger's seat
While the world was flying by
I haven't been gone very long
But it feels like a lifetime

I've been sleeping so strange at night
Side effects they don't advertise
I've been sleeping so strange
With a head full of pesticide

I've got no plans and too much time
I feel too restless to unwind
I'm always lost in thought as I walk a block
To my favorite neon sign

Where the waitress looks concerned
But she never says a word
Just turns the jukebox on and we hum along
And I smile back at her

And my friend comes after work
When the features start to blur
She says these bars are filled with things that kill
By now you probably should have learned

Did you forget that yellow bird?
But how could you forget your yellow bird?
She took a small silver wreath and pinned it onto me
She said this one will bring you love
And I don't know if it's true
But I keep it for good luck

I'm trying this 'head full of pesticide' thing.

I've emptied 10 cans into my head and I'm beginning to feel something. Actually, I'm feeling nothing. As in I can't feel my arms and legs. Strange, I can see them and I swear they were there a moment ago. Oh wait, I can't see them anymore. Who turned off the lights. Show yourself ...

(10 seconds late) ... I'mzzz azzz feaaliingzzzz taiyerdddzzzz ...

(another 10 seconds later) ... *thud*

(another 10 seconds after that) ... Hey, it sure is hot in here. Oh hi, how are you. Oh, what's up with the pitchfork?

Bright Eyes - We Are Nowhere and It's Now (from I'm Wide Awake and It's Morning)

Let's get lyrical, lyrical: Placebo - This Picture

I hold an image of the ashtray girl
As the cigarette burns on my chest
I wrote a poem that described her world
That put my friendship to the test
And late at night
Whilst on all fours
She used to watch me kiss the floor
Whats wrong with this picture?
Whats wrong with this picture?

Farewell the ashtray girl
Forbidden snowflake
Beware this troubled world
Watch out for earthquakes
Goodbye to open sores
To broken centre floor
We know we miss her
We miss her picture

Sometimes its faded
Disintegrated
For fear of growing old
Sometimes its faded
Assassinated
For fear of growing old

Farewell the ashtray girl
Angelic fruitcake
Beware this troubled world
Control your intake
Goodbye to open sores
Goodbye and furthermore
We know we miss her
We miss her picture

Sometimes its faded
Disintegrated
For fear of growing old
Sometimes its faded
Assassinated
For fear of growing old

Hang on
Though we try
Its gone
Hang on
Though we try
Its gone

Sometimes its faded
Disintegrated
For fear of growing old
Sometimes its faded
Assassinated
For fear of growing old
Cant stop growing old ...

This is a nice picture. Which one? This one, the one I am looking at. It's nice isn't it Rachel honey? Why are you spitting at me?! Okay I know, you're not in a good mood. Must be the chains. Too tight is it?

Anyways yes this is such a good picture. What is it of? It's hard for me to explain or describe. I will try anyways. It's a picture of something majestic, and immaculate. It's a picture of someone of course. Such penetrating eyes. Eh shit, it's a mirror.

Placebo - This Picture (from Sleeping With Ghosts)

Let's get lyrical, lyrical: The Innocence Mission - Tomorrow On the Runway

Old days, don't come to find me
The sun is just about to climb up over there
While my heart is sinking I do not want my voice
To go out into the air
Did you leave the darkness without me?
You're always miles ahead
And you're standing in tomorrow on the runway

Oh be the music in my head
The air around my bed, oh be my rest
Replace the small disgraces of
The times and places that I never really left
Did you leave the darkness without me?
You're always miles ahead
And you're standing in tomorrow on the runway

Oh I want to fly, fly forward into the light
Be alive, to come alive
On the leaf-bright Friday drive
Sudden horses at the red light
Turn around, see clearer ways to go now

Because there is something terribly kickass about waiting for a girl at a runway. I mean, this is not trunk road or bicycle lane. This is a damn runway. Step out of line a little and you could be owned by a Boeing.

Therefore because of this, I have theorized that the song is about She Hulk.

Cause only she would want her man (The Hulk?) to wait for her at a runway. The rest of us would be fine with a 7-Eleven.

The Innocence Mission - Tomorrow On the Runway (from Befriended)

Let's get lyrical, lyrical: Tori Amos - The Power of Orange Knickers

The power of orange knickers
Under my petticoat
The power of listening to what
You don't want me to know

Can somebody tell me now
Who is this terrorist
Those girls that smile kindly
Then rip you life to pieces

Can somebody tell me now
Am I alone with this
This little pill in my hand
And with this secret

Kiss
Am I alone in this? A

A matter of complication
When you become a twist
For that latest drink
As that transitioning

Can somebody tell me now
Who is this terrorist
This little pill in my hand
That keeps the pain living

Can somebody tell me now
The way out of this
That sacred pot of red stuff
Could blow me out of this

Kiss
Am I alone in this

The power of orange knickers
Under my petticoat
The power of listening to what
You don't want me to know

Shame shame time to leave me now
Shame shame you've had your fun
Shame shame for letting me think
That I would be the one

Can somebody tell me now
Who is this terrorist
This little pill in my hand
Or this secret

Kiss
Am I alone in this
Kiss

Who the heck writes a song that consists of just one line? I mean who has the audacity to do that? Ooo maybe an orange-haired feline of a singer, hence her choice of knicker-color. Which means if I wrote a similar song, it would be titled 'The Power of Black Grandmother Shorts'. What? Hey don't diss my grandma.

Anyways, yes, just one line. What the heck? Oh, what was that you said? What? Shit, no kidding? More than a few paragraphs? I could've sworn there is nothing after the word 'knickers'. It's hard to notice anything after you've found one. Peace!

Tori Amos - The Power of Orange Knickers (from The Beekeeper)

Let's get lyrical, lyrical: The Promise Ring - Stop Playing Guitar

So if I had a dime for every time I should've
Stopped playing guitar and put my nose in a book
Then my head would be healthy and my guitar would be dusty
And that just might save me from a bunch of bad songs
So maybe I'm too polite just like good Moses
But just like good manners we've had enough of them

Yeah yeah oh yeah yeah oh yeah
And now we’re moving a little bit slow
Yeah oh yeah yeah oh yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

Another round for my friends I'll get paid back later
When evening turns midnight I'll be just getting warm
I know you're hot and you're bothered now your skin’s going crazy
It’s one hundred degrees and you've got a sweater on
So I'd like to come off the side of the kitchen
So when this party’s ending I'll be taking your number home

Yeah yeah oh yeah yeah oh yeah
And now we’re moving a little bit slow
Yeah oh yeah yeah oh yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah oh yeah yeah oh yeah
Yeah yeah oh yeah yeah oh yeah
Now were moving a little bit slow

I like books better than
Movies and present tense
And I can keep up with them
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Stop playing guitar
Stop playing guitar

Oh see that's a novel idea - proclaim a menial duty/task/talent you've given up on and turn it into a song. I mean who would have thought anyone would bother about something like that. In that spirit and inspiration, I have recorded myself an album. It's called Stop ... Shh, it's a 'concept' album. Here's the tracklisting.

1. Stop Starting a Song and Not Finish It
2. Stop Ironing Clothes
3. Stop Washing Clothes
4. Stop Wearing Clothes
5. Stop Eating Little Children
6. Stop Cracking Mirrors With My Awesome Good Looks
7. Stop Thinking About Christina when Rachel is Around
8. Stop Shagging Not-So-Hot Girls Pt 1
9. Stop Shagging Not-So-Hot Girls Pt 2
10. Stop Writing and Recording Albums Within 8.5 hours

The Promise Ring - Stop Playing Guitar (from Wood/Water)

Let's get lyrical, lyrical: Hope of the States - Enemies/Friends

Lately in the hospitals
The halfway homes and choking jails
There's people on the mend again
With hope to carry on again
It makes me feel that something's right
For everyone who tries to fight
No politics or dirty tricks
All standing up and shouting out

All the money in the world won't save you
We're coming home
All the prisons that you build won't hold us
Just let us go

Then I found a broken heart
The dusty wheezing-thing won't start
I'll fix it up and watch it grow
And send it to a happy home
It don't take much to raise a smile
To push yourself the extra mile
I'll stand with you when things go wrong
And lie and say it's not too long

All the money in the world won't save you
We're coming home
All the prisons that you build won't hold us
Just let us go

Come on people
Keep your friends close
Your enemies won't matter in the end
Come on people
Keep your friends close
Your enemies won't matter in the end
In the end
In the end

I've taken this song's advice. No, not to push myself the extra mile. God, no. I barely need to push myself 0.000001 of a mile. Cause I have people pushing me, for me. Get it? Get it? Ha Ha. Hmm ... why is no one laughing?

Anyway, yes, I've taken the advice, to keep my friends close. In fact, in the last month, I've gone on to befriend Rachel, who above being a drop-dead gorgeous bombshell, also played an 80s cartoon character recently in a movie adpatation. If you do not know, that's as close to orgasm as you'll get without having sex. Ah yes, Rachel, in fact we've become bosom buddies. So I've kept her close, real close. Which is why I fail to understand why she called the cops on me. Honey, it's okay, I forgive you. We've got to keep close, so that our enemies won't matter. Namely the enemy that is Sienna's corset.

Hope of the States - Enemies/Friends (from The Lost Riots)

Let's get lyrical, lyrical: The Honorary Title - Apologize

Yesterday's dinner's haunting me today
Blades in my stomach spinning
I awake with a fear of intake
Heightened by the stress of your love
I won't return your calls until it lets up
Oh, just one more season, you will be good

Tonight, oh
Don't even, don't even try, oh

When I'm concentratin'
on makin' statements
That will fool you into thinkin' we're fine
Yeah, They'll fool you, fool you, fool you, into thinkin' we're fine
Until you start to feel something outside
Beyond what you alone can visualise

Not worth the misery
Our sorted history
Years of revelry
We'd converse endlessly
Those pouted lips that say you'd cry
Won't you start to feel something outside

Tonight, oh
Don't even, don't even try

The libido was mistaken
For an earnest, heartfelt evening
For a moon-induced hallucination
Couldn't help but notice
Your eyes are losing focus
Such magnetism, now you're repulsed
But if you're not begging for it
Then it's not yours
Once dependent, now no signs of withdrawal

Not worth the misery
Our sorted history
Years of revelry
We'd converse endlessly
Those pouted lips that say you'd cry
Won't you start to feel something outside

Tonight, oh
Don't even, don't even, don't

Please talk softly now
No need to scream
The raise in decibels seems obsence
Please talk softly now
No need to scream
The raise in decibels seems obsence

Tonight, well, tonight
If your sold on everything you've been told
I apologize

I pride myself at being someone that cares little for apologizing. Like that time when I was eight and blew my neighbor's sandbox up with a bazooka. Or that time when I was 15 when I slapped the front-teeth off some jock that tried to feel up my girl. Heck, I did not even apologize when I dumped Megan recently for Christina recently. And sure, I ended up with a shovel lodged in my head, my gonads severed and stir-fried and I have to make do with just one leg, half a hand and seven fingers for the rest of my life but heck it was worth it. Yes Christina keep dancing like that. Nope, daddy's not going to say sorry for you now. What did you say? You think I am pathetic. You're such a kitten.

The Honorary Title - Apologize (from Scream and Light Up the Sky)

Let's get lyrical, lyrical: Magnet - Everything's Perfect

She's fragile and slender
And fading fast
So in a voice so tender she asks
If I could lend her a helping hand
A hand that would end her strive
Love is only for poets
And dreams are for fools
And on all beauty you'll find
Time's always cruel

If you see what I see
Then say after me
I'll fight my fright
I'll do as you ask tonight

Ever since my heart chose to choose her
I've known I would lose her
But I will excuse her
I could never refuse her anything
'Cause I'm not a poet, no
I'm just a fool
But the beauty she speaks of
Keeps her as the exception to the rule

But I see what I see
So I know what it'll be
I'll fight my fright
And I'll do as she's asked me to do tonight

And all will be forgiven
It's from love that I've been driven
And time will skip a moment
When it's perfect
And I'll kiss her lips
As she slips away

You said you'd die for me
You said you'd die for me
So why can't you live for me
Why won't you live for me

Ah not to be boasting or anything (but I am), this song's about me. Yep it is. Cause as much as I try to live my life ordinarily, I find myself failing. After all, I am perfect. Yes sir (and you the hot madam at the back) I am.

Just an example of how I am, I once took this Math test in primary school and when I got the results back, the teacher drew a perfect circle for me as my mark. It was such a nice circle and it was in red as well. I think she had the hots for me, you know, like red = hot. Shit, missed it. Damn.

Magnet - Everything's Perfect (from On Your Side)

Let's get lyrical, lyrical: Stars - Elevator Love Letter

[Girl] I'm so hard for a rich girl
My heels are high, my eyes cast low
And I don't know how to love
I get too tired after mid-day, lately
I take it out on my good friends
But the worst stays in
Oh where would I begin?

[Girl] My office glows all night long,
It's a nuclear show and the stars are gone
Elevator, elevator, take me home

[Guy] I'm so hard for the rich girl
Her heels are high and my hope's so low
Cause I don't know how to love
I'll take her home after midnight
And if she likes, I'll tell her lies
Of how we'll fall in love by the morning
I don't think she'll know that I'm saying goodbye

[Girl] My office glows all night long
It's a nuclear show and the stars are gone
Elevator, elevator, take me home

[Girl] My office glows all night long
it's a nuclear show and the stars are gone
Elevator, elevator, take me home

[Girl] Don't go. Say you'll stay
Spend a lazy Sunday in my arms
I won't take anything away

[Girl] Don't go. Say you'll stay
Spend a lazy Sunday in my arms
Don't take anything away

Such a lovely song. I had a lot of fun listening to it. Except after examining the lyrics I am perplexed about something though. Why is the guy saying 'I'm so hard for the rich girl'? What does that essentially mean? Someone please explain it to me ... !!!

(Old lady walks up to me and whispers in my ears)

Ooo ... is it? I am such an innocent boy then cause ...

(Old lady whispers in my ears again)

You want to what again? Oh ... shit.

Stars - Elevator Love Letter (from Heart)