Thursday, June 19, 2008

Euro 2008/Fad of the Land: Castrol Performance Index

So the first round of games are officially over. And as is standard practice for football nerds globally, the debate begins as to who has been the star performers of the championships so far.

I would like to nominate Tranquillo Barnetta.

Yes, him. It's not because I'm a obsessive Swiss fan who watched every minute of their snipped campaign. Nor is it because I have a closet fetish for footballers with exotic names (though Jerko Leko also got me going for a couple'a moments).

It's because Castrol Performance Index says so. Yep, some even-more-nerdy football dudes have been compiling all the most inane stats known to man, gecko and alfalfa alike, and translating all them digits into an overall score that bellows, "You can't argue with the numbers, bitch!" Thanks to these nerdier-than-Pedros, we now know that Cesc Fabregas ran 12.44km last night,and that Andreas Isaksson has made more saves than anyone except Petr Cech, and that Ivica Olic ran a top speed of 31.76km/h. They must also count trips to the ladies.

And so, we come back to the base question: Who's been the man? Based on the numbers, David Villa. The undisputed, indefatiguable man. Edwin Van de Sar comes at a distant second, and in third place is... Tranquillo Barnetta.

Ummhmm. It's official. So, need a playmaker? Tranquillo Barnetta. Holding midfielder? Tranquillo Barnetta. Leaky faucet? Tranquillo Barnetta. Someone to assasinate your uncle? Tranquillo Barnetta. Dude's gonna have a bronze statue soon. Maybe even next to mine.


The Dismemberment Plan - Superpowers (from Change) [BUY]

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