Sunday, June 15, 2008

The Sick Sick Six: 'Why Emo Should Have Died After 1999' in 6 bands

I have a theory.

The theory is that emo is an anagram for 'ome'. And you know what an 'ome' is? Neither do I, but by damn it's something bad. Just look at where emo is taking us since 1999. Soon our sons will be wearing skirts and bawling about girls named Olga. It's either that or they all start turning into Freds and balding. We have to stop the 'ome'. We just have to find out what it is.

Finch
Hey Fred, looks like you stopped balding huh? I heard you're into Portishead and shit. He he, check it out man, I used the word shit. Yeah you know, to get more cred? Anyways, just wanted to tell you that I thought you seriously couldn't suck harder after Wes left the band. Oh that's not your band? Oh no need to deny it. Us bruthers right homey? Yeah, yeah that's bruthers with a 'u'.
Finch - Letters To You (from What It Is To Burn) [BUY]

Yellowcard
Hey Fred it's a band called Yellowcard. No, no shit man, we're not in a football game.
Yellowcard - Only Once (from Ocean Avenue) [BUY]

Matchbook Romance
Yeah Fred, anyways, I have this great story for you. When I was five, I had a matchbook. The matchbook romanced another matchbook with a Prince song turned up. And out came this pile of shit. What was that? You're touched? No? Oh, you feel like touching yourself. I see.
Matchbook Romance - Stay Tonight (from Stories and Alibis) [BUY]

Story of the Year
Hey Fred, do you know why these bands always use the word 'avenue' like it's cool and shit? Oh cause it's hot eh? In what way? Oh no no, avenue, not anal view.
Story of the Year - Sidewalks (from Page Avenue) [BUY]

30 Seconds to Mars
So what do you think of Jared Leto, Fred? Oh you think she is hot? But hey look homey, Jared's actually a guy and shit. Oh you never knew that? What was that? You had fantasies about him? That's like totally weird dude.
30 Seconds to Mars - Attack (from A Beautiful Lie) [BUY]

The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
Yeah anyways Fred, I gotta split and shit, Hope you had fun chatting. No, no sorry man. I am not sexyangel78. Just some hairy dude. Aww dude, dude, come on.
The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus - Your Guardian Angel (from Don't You Fake It) [BUY]

10 comments:

adlisyahril said...

i love this post, man!

Destiny said...

I hate this dumbass post...Me and my bf are emo, I hate sterotype but we are called it...So f off ppl...

SevenStar said...

Hey, guess what?
Emo is a pile of shit.
Gerald Way of My Chemical Romance said that at an interview.

Lemme explain because ur obviously to goddamned simple minded and influenced by mtv to understand.

"Emo" was supposed to be short for "emotional hardcore" which is a style of hardcore punk rock that originated with the band "Rites Of Spring." But some how, a bunch of fucking dipshits at record companies and mtv managed to fuck up the word emo so much that it now represents any band or person that shows any negetive emotion at all through theyr actions or theyr dress, where in all reality, original emotional hardcore wasnt anything like that. any one who is labeled "emo" against their will is more likely to be a punk or a skater who just likes modern music like post-hardcore (usually known as screamo, like the band Underoath) or some other skate-punk or alternative-punk band with emotion. (by the way, most punks and skaters dress similar to a stereo typical "emo" with stuff like black clothes, tight pants, dyed hair, mohawks, dark makeup, etc) if ur gunna make fun of an "emo kid," make sure he's not called "emo" because he just depressed, or just dresses darkly like any other skater/punk. also, if the kid is dumb enough to believe that he is "emo" according to YOUR definition of the word, then he deserves all the ridicule in the world. other wise: DONT RUN YOUR MOUTH OF ABOUT SOMETHING U DONT KNOW ABOUT!

Shaunedy said...

I agree Finch could be classed as "emo" with What It Is To Burn.

But if you listen to Say Hello To Sunshine and their self-titled EP, they're far from even emo anymore. They've changed alot and gone in the right direction. Certainly better.

Chris Fullam said...

I definitely agree with the Finch comment. Say Hello To Sunshine is quite a departure from emo.

Anonymous said...

Emo is a system of dealing with depression you dumbfucks. It's not just a style of clothing or a type of music. It is a way of life, a way of getting through depression and the pain it causes. I'm an emo and I'm particularly pissed at the people who go shooting off their mouths when they don't even know what emo is. Most of the people who criticize us have never felt the level of pain ms of us are trying to deal with.

Anonymous said...

Emo is a system of dealing with depression you dumbfucks. It's not just a style of clothing or a type of music. It is a way of life, a way of getting through depression and the pain it causes. I'm an emo and I'm particularly pissed at the people who go shooting off their mouths when they don't even know what emo is. Most of the people who criticize us have never felt the level of pain ms of us are trying to deal with.

Anonymous said...

Emo is a system of dealing with depression you dumbfucks. It's not just a style of clothing or a type of music. It is a way of life, a way of getting through depression and the pain it causes. I'm an emo and I'm particularly pissed at the people who go shooting off their mouths when they don't even know what emo is. Most of the people who criticize us have never felt the level of pain most of us are trying to deal with.

Katrina said...

wtf is ome?!!?! emo is short for emotional! retard!

Anonymous said...

dude, u need to grow up.
Youre so stereotypical. Yes, I am an emo, i dont have black hair.. blah blah blah etc. But i do cut myself. My friend however, looks like an emo, hair covering face, black hair etc. but doesnt cut herself. Emo's can be all around us, they dont even have to look like they are. But emos only cut themselves for a reason. so give us a break? doesnt realy matter wat u call us, its just pathetic :L >.<

 
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