Mosaic Music Festival 2010: Ooompa loompa from 12 - 21 Mar, 2010

Sigh Mosaic has just unleashed their lineup and we must say, it doeseth weteth oureth pantseth. The legendarily old Dinosaur Jr, is a wet dream for anyone that's above 32, or is interested to see Gandalf the White in person (see picture above). On top of that there's the previously reported 65daysofstatic, St. Vincent, The Go Team and Kings of Convenience. There's also Kool and the Gang but I'm saving that for my granddad.

We just want to say that we have Ne-Yo. Yup, just one, we know but hey, the man looks half asleep most of the time. No, no, it's a good thing cause he has enough rest. My grandma used to tell me that if you want to date hot chicks you need to have enough rest. Okay she may have said 'zest' instead but hey, zest, rest, what's the difference anyway? One letter? Just one stupid letter? And you think the world's going to change on that? I think not pretty boy.

Dinosaur Jr - Never Bought It (from Hand It Over)

Shhh ... they might be listening but, Mosaic is here.

We've been advised by our lawyers, which on any given day may consist of a parrot, an overfed rhino and Britney Spears that we shouldn't talk too much about this festival because there may be a certain large establishment that may be displeased with what we had to say about them in a previous post. Namely how we called them old.

But alas, we've got big mouths, to go with our big arses, big biceps and big errr ... handphones (you may have those tiny ones that cost a bomb but our mamas always told us that big is always better, especially when it is big and cheap, and we certainly are both. Yee hah). So here it is.

Yeah that's what I thought, boring. You know, like how Pooh gets when he is sleepy and he yawns, yeps, just like that. Or kind of how we get when we are you know, not interested? Oh wait, we fart when we aren't. So I guess not. Like couldn't they have gotten Cliff Richard along as well, you know, just to make it even more boring? Oh wait, that might not be possible cause the ... oh crap (farts).

Yeah anyway, doesn't matter now.

Go here for a preview of the acts as well as the schedule.

Psapp - Tricycle (from The Only Thing I Ever Wanted) [BUY]
Of Montreal - Penelope (from Coquelicot Asleep In The Poppies: A Variety Of Whimsical Verse) [BUY]
Battles - Dance (from B EP) [BUY]
Cinematic Orchestra - Horizon (from Horizon) [BUY]

Mosaic 2009 - The Jesus and Mary Chain confirmed?

Update: You heard the lady in the comments box, looks like we're a bag of hot air again. Which is still better than being many things in this world. Like The Big Show's Y-fronts for example.

Rejoice ye lovers of old indie. Yes, you, the one with the Stout in hand and a piece of pork belly on a fork in the other. Not to mention you sir, the one with an issue of Playboy with Zsa Zsa Gabor on the cover in your hand. Or you with that jumbo-sized bottle of Vitalis. Rejoice, rejoice.

Why? Because the equally old band Jesus and Mary Chain will be making a stop in Singapore to headline the annual Mosaic Music Festival that is likely to happen around March 2009. While official promos are not quite out there yet, our sources can readily confirm that they are on the bill.

And in a separate statement, the organizers would like you to know that the target age group for the festival is not 98. And that they are well aware that it's 2008 and not 1978. And that they acknowledge the existence of the Internet. Not to mention they are well aware of good new music that's released after 1978 such as Skid Row and Poison.

Jesus and Mary Chain - Sometimes Always (featuring Hope Sandoval) (from Stoned & Dethroned) [BUY]

Gig-gles: Broken Social Scene Live at Mosaic Music Festival, Singapore - 9 March 2008

Photo courtesy of Esplanade, Singapore

Watching Broken Social Scene is like going on a blind date.

It's all about hoping for the best cause you never know what you are going to get. You get yourself ready by bathing in perfume and squeezing yourself into your Saturday night's best. You clean your car of the empty Livita bottles and 2-year old chicken bones. You drive out early and park at the street next to hers waiting, preparing and generally just making sure you don't shit in your pants.

Then as you clutch tightly onto your bouquet of flowers, buzz her door bell and she opens the door, you find that the 'she' you've been expecting is really a 'he'. And not only is he a 'he', he also happens to have a beard. And not just any beard, but a Biblical beard. Yeah the type that gets tangled up with your pubes. And he stinks of cheap beer and starts cussing about your mom, dad, aunt and cousin's boyfriend's sister's best friend's pet platypus. And just as you are about to cry your eyes out for being such a loser, he says 'Gojira'.

And suddenly, dating a bearded man doesn't sound so bad after all.

Broken Social Scene - Looks Just Like the Sun (from You Forgot it in People)

Mosaic Calendar Released

Mosaic has just released its official calendar and I am glad to announce folks, that Broken Social Scene has been penned in for a performance on March 9th.

Yeah, yeah I heard about the commotion when it wasn't confirmed. Mass looting on the streets, green aliens flooding shopping malls asking for a cool-aid drink called 'Gomaguinga' and me stepping out of my house to grab my paper.

What did you say? What has me stepping out of my house got anything to do with Broken Social Scene? What Broken Social Scene? I tend to forget everything else when I am talking about myself. It's called focus. I learned it in ninja school.

To take a look at the full calendar, click here.

Broken Social Scene - 7/4 Shoreline (from Broken Social Scene)

More acts announced for Mosaic

It's nice to be Asian these days isn't it?

I mean, above the fact that we possibly have the best food in the world here, we also had/have Bruce Lee and Jackie Chan. Sure, the West have Optimus Prime, Marla Sokoloff and Tarzan, but they can't kick as high as the two sky generals we have. And plus, let's not forget that even a post-humous Bruce Lee could take out Kareem Abdul-Jaabar.

And now, we have the enigmatic Swede Sondre Lerche headed up here with quartet The Faces Down for a bit of dinner and dance jazz loving. Who knows, if we are lucky, he may even throw in a Phantom Punch or two. Then there is UK band Fujiya Miyagi which incidentally, does not consist of anyone Japanese. And yes, I am well aware that these bands are from the West as well but hey, once you're here, you're Asian. Apparently it's some race-altering secret weapon that some Japanese scientist invented recently. It has to be a Japanese scientist because only they were daring and smart enough to research on ways of defeating Godzilla.

And what has the height of a kick have to do with superiority? Well, don't just stand there asking me questions, just try to level a flying kick at your wall-mounted kitchen cabinets. Can't reach? Pain as f**k? Told ya.

Sondre Lerche - Say It All (from Phantom Punch)
Fujiya & Miyagi - Collarbone (from Transparent Things)