Friday Fartwork: Stars' Sad Robots EP

Stars

Sad Robots EP

(Arts & Crafts)

Today, we're gonna dissect the fartwork of Stars' 2008 EP Sad Robots.

As is always, we start with the text - which is placed on the top left corner, clearly as a compositional afterthought. The font for "STARS" is a serif font. The font for "SAD ROBOTS" is sans serif, and the font for "EP" has very, very small serifs that only I can see. All this indicates to us already that what we're looking at is a deep social comment on the collision of modernity with post-modernity.

In the picture, we see a robot, his human wife and his two brothers-in-law. The scene is a turn-of-the-century industrial balcony, with its crude mesh fence, overlooking the historic and original Brighton Pavilion. The setting itself is brimming with the temporal clash - an industrial observation deck ominously watching an elegant city, waiting to destroy it from top-down with its robotic metal ugliness. The right half of the picture is blackish and evil to behold. The left half is pristine and virginal in its serenity. Clearly, a metaphorical rape of a civilisation is about to occur.

Which leads us to consider the relationship between all four parties. What's happening here is that there are two sad female robots beneath the deck - they are cousins of the robot in the picture, whom he is introducing as spouses for his two brothers-in-law. But they are caught in a taboo-filled setting.

The woman is placed in the middle, linking the two distinct worlds with her pink dress - a colour that symbolises the corruption of her innocence with the metallic non-human behind her. Her brothers are watching and considering if this is a fate they want to embrace. The brother in the barret isn't amused, possibly because he cannot yet fathom the pleasures a female robot can give him. All this contributes to the sadness of the two unseen female robots standing downstairs. Their brother, the robot in the picture, stands back because he cannot watch his sisters' rejection.

But obviously, by now, even you can see that the end is nigh.

Stars - Sad Robots

Friday Fartwork: Regina Spektor's Far

Regina Spektor

Far

(Sire)

In Regina Spektor's album fartwork for Far, we are confronted with a complex vision of labour and oppression. To break it down, let's start with the text.

The words "regina spektor" and "far" are placed at the central top portion of the image, in the same font, size and spacing from each other. This emphasises that neither the person nor the produce are in competition - both are equally important (or unimportant, as we shall soon see). Regina's name is coded in black, or the feminine yang. The fruit of her labour is coded in white - the masculine yin. This is to represent the totality of the working person.

Curiously, the font chosen is a hollow font, and is intentionally used here to represent the vacuous role of art and artist in the larger scheme of things. People see through them even as they see them.

The image itself is an illustration of a lady cleaning her piano from graffiti that clearly has been sprayed all over her instrument of music. Eventhough the lady is hard at work wiping the stain off, she is clearly pleased with the progress she is making. We the viewer, of course, are not privy to her progress. This has serious significance, because the lady represents the working class woman, cleaning the graffiti stain of the slums as it invades even whatever little she has that represents a bourgeois existence. Her environment is self-destructive. Yet, we cannot see her results. Her labour, like all working class labour, is hidden from our bourgeois eyes.

Her environment is also constricting. Behind her, where an open window should reveal an open sky, there is instead a brick wall. This case of poor building craftsmanship represents the poverty of the entire architectural concept - another sign that all elements of the middle-class is under threat.

The cleaning lady herself - resembling the actual Regina Spektor - has brownish red hair and brownish red lips. Nothing else on her is coloured, but the colouration of her hair and lips is cryptic. It seems to imply that objects of personal beauty alone can triumph in this constricted space.

All-in-all, this album fartwork is saying that for the working class woman, living in a working class environment replete with vandalism and shoddy building work, the only escape for her is her beauty. But consider this: the very thing she is trying to wipe off - the sky graffiti - is itself a symbol of freedom and emancipation. Unknowingly, in her faithful labour, she destroys all hope of eventual escape. Truly, this is Regina's most cynical, bitter commentary on life till date.

Regina Spektor - Folding Chair

Broken Social Scene in Malaysia (not just Singapore)

Right, right so we know the band's penned for a show at Singapore on the 27th of July, but hey, word has it that some peeps at this end are trying to get the guys down here for a show as well. That would be swell. So swell that I have in fact offered to put up the band. Yeah, all 329 (or was it 331?) of them. Yeah I have this large field behind my home where they can lay wherever they want, take a dump wherever they want and eat whatever they want (only grass is on the menu).

Oh wait, I had that field before I gave all my money away to charity (it's just something I do). Now all I have is a small laundry area behind my room. No worries, we can just stack them up to the roof. You still have my go ahead organizers! *shows a thumbs up gesture

Broken Social Scene - Guilty Cubicles (from Feel Good Lost)

Friday Fartwork: DCFC's Transatlanticism

Death Cab For Cutie

Transatlanticism

(Barsuk Records)

Look what we have here with us. The fartwork of Death Cab For Cutie's 2003 breakout album, Transatlanticism. Looks benign on the surface. But unbeknownst to you, an insidious message lurks beneath this cover.

The band's name and album title are in a serif-styled font, in a dark colour, and placed at the top of the image, balanced - one of the left and one on the right. This is Ben Gibbard telling you he takes his band seriously and he thinks they've got themselves on top of things.

But what's with the bird and the ball of red wool? The bird is a crow. He looks pissed off, for reasons that will soon be obvious, but who does he represent? Clearly, he represents DCFC's singer Ben Gibbard. The name "Ben" comes from "Benjamin", which is a Hebrew name meaning "son of the south". Gibbard longs to go southward, perhaps to Argentina, or to Africa, but he's stuck in a web of "Transatlanticism", a metaphor of going sideways without really going anywhere.

The red wool, then, represents the oppressive forces of left-wing elitism of the music industry. We know this because the wool is wrapping Gibbard the Crow and is stifling him from flying wheresoever he wishes. We also know this because in 2003, DCFC was signed to Barsuk Records but one year later, they would sign on to Atlantic Records. Hence, this record cover is Gibbard's way of saying that his band's trans-Atlantic signing is leaving him as pleased as a wound up crow.

The creased paper-like quality of the backdrop emphasises the fakery of the world he lives in and the soft focus at the bottom of the artwork where the wool and the bird's body is further reinforces that the focus is not on going south, where Ben, the son of the south, actually longs to be.

I am truly brilliant. All hail me.

Death Cab For Cutie - Death Of An Interior Decorator

Look what I found in the bargain bin

Ryan Adams
29
(Lost Highway)

Price: S$3.95

I decided to feature 'Nightbirds' as the token mp3 here because rumor has it that it's Ryan Adams' 1,789 876 song written. What significance does that number have in general? Well for one, it's exactly the amount of times I've played poker with a Cheetah, as well as rode a camel in a Camel Grand-Prix.

Ryan Adams - Nightbirds (from 29)

Gig-gles: Andrew Bird Live in Singapore

Better late than never, that's my motto. Some might say this gig review may have come a tad too late but I maintain that it's right on time. Because the wonderful show that this Chicago native threw together will forever be relevant, from his brilliant ability to sample the crap out of everything right down to his ability to whistle like like me (when I catch the eye of a 'fit bird')

Oh yeah, back to the 'on time' bit. Yup, it's totally on time. See unlike losers like Genusfrog, I actually prefer to catch a bus three days after I'm supposed to catch it and eat cheese cake four years after it's expired. I can then call it 'blue cheese' cake. Oh wait, it looks kind of green. Or is it purple? Hmm ... might be a tinge of navy blue in there somewhere. Ooo ... the Navy! Guns ...

Andrew Bird - Simple X (from Armchair Apocrypha)

Gig-gles: Stereophonics Live in KL

From the picture above, I can immediately tell that the upcoming show by this Welsh band in our home turf is going to be fab. Why? Because of these reasons:

1) It will feature many leather jackets. Not one, but many
2) There will be groping, much groping
3) There will be semi-orgasmic faces, not one, but many
4) There will be at least one douche bag
5) Kelly Jones' mouth. Watch that thing open and swallow up the earth

Details:

Date: April 28
Venue: KL Live
Price: RM78 (early bird) and RM118. Tickets available here

Stereophonics - Local Boy in the Photograph (from Word Gets Around)

Gig-gles: Shai Hulud - Asia Tour 2010

American hardcore band Shai Hulud is slated for a couple of shows around this region. This represents the first time the progressive hardcore/punk band has traveled to these parts and it should be a maximum treat for their fans here.

...

...

...

Just kidding. This Shai Hulud is coming instead ...

Yeah man, shit your pants suckers, shit your pants.

Details:

1 May Singapore, Blackhole
2 May Jakarta, Indonesia, The Green Cafe
3 May Bandung, Indonesia, Fame Station
4 May Solo, Indonesia, Megaland 2nd Floor
7 May Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, One Cafe
9 May Bangkok, Thailand, The Rock Pub

Shai Hulud - In the Mind and Marrow (from Misanthropy Pure)

Look what I found in the bargain bin

Bruce Springsteen
Nebraska
(Sony)

Price: S$6.95

Looking at the cover, I can therefore conclude that Nebraska is not too far away from Alaska, simply because the name of both places sound fairly similar. Kinda like how my name is Geekosus Magnifitous while my little half brother's name is Loserus Fatilicious. Both are my momma's sons.

Bruce Springsteen - State Trooper (from Nebraska)

Look what I found in the bargain bin

Pulp
Different Class
(Island)

Price: S$12.90

You know what is a 'different class'? Genusfrog. Because unlike me, he posts one blog post every 1,295 days, which makes him slightly a little more productive than a Bungalum (a rare Amazonian snail) and about 20 times more unproductive than your garden variety one. Now that's a different class.

Pulp - Disco 2000 (from Different Class)

Let's get lyrical, lyrical: Black Kids - I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How to Dance With You

You are the girl that I've been dreaming of ever since I was a little girl
You are the girl that I've been dreaming of ever since I was a little girl

One,
I'm biting my tongue
Two,
He's kissin' on you
Three,
Oh, why can't you see?
One! Two! Three! Four!

The word's on the streets and it's on the news:
I'm not gonna teach him how to dance with you.
He's got two left feet and he bites my moves.
I'm not gonna teach him how to dance, dance, dance, dance
The second I do, I know we're gonna be through.
I'm not gonna teach him how to dance with you.
He don't suspect a thing. I wish he'd get a clue.
I'm not gonna teach him how to dance, dance, dance, dance

One!
You're biting my tongue.
Two!
I'm kissin' on you.
Three!
Is he better than me?
One! Two! Three! Four!

The word's on the streets and it's on the news:
I'm not gonna teach him how to dance with you.
He's got two left feet and he bites my moves.
I'm not gonna teach him how to dance, dance, dance, dance

Wow, everyone's into long titles for songs these days huh? I mean what happened to the days when you just named your songs after one alphabet (namely 'I', as in me, because there should never be anyone else ha ha). I mean just the other day, I saw a song named 'Pork Knuckle, Chicken Feet, Elephant Butts and Squirrel Nuts in the Basket of Shit'. Determined not to be outdone, I wrote a song titled 'Pork Knuckle, Chicken Feet, Elephant Butts and Squirrel Nuts in the Basket of Shite'.

I mean, yeah, mine has to be longer.

Black Kids - I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How to Dance With You (from Partie Traumatic)

Look what I found in the bargain bin

The Raveonettes
Lust Lust Lust
(Vice)

Price: S$4.95

Hey wait a minute, that's some 3D thingy there eh? Let me get my 3D glasses ...

(after 2 minutes) ... found it! Okay lets see what this baby can do ... oh man, those are some seriously hot babes there. Woo hoo, nice pair there girl. What? You can't see them? They are on the TV there. Eh, what album cover? TV man, TV.

The Raveonettes - You Want the Candy (from Lust Lust Lust)

Friday Fartwork: Dylan Mondegreen's While I Walk You Home

Dylan Mondegreen

While I Walk You Home

(Division Records)

I shall kickstart this first piece of Friday Fartwork the only way I know how - in the bedroom. And what a bedroom we've found ourselves in. Let's deconstruct this cover a little and start with the text.

The first line says "DYLAN MONDEGREEN" - that, in all likelihood, should be the name of the album. Which makes the bit beneath it, "while i walk you home", the name of the band. And because it's positioned beneath the album title, and in smaller sized typefont, we're being told that this band, While I Walk You Home, is a humble band that considers its art superior to its identity.

Moving on to the visuals. We have the scene of a girl doing her laundry and a man, positioned further behind her, assisting in this piece of household chore. How do I know this, you may ask. Well, it might escape most of you, but my fantastic powers of semiotics caused my eyes to notice the grimace on the girl's face. This, coupled with the fact that she is staring at a food stain on her collar, tells me that it is Saturday morning and it's time to use the washing machine. The man undressing behind her is complying with this weekend ritual by clearing what's on him to be thrown in along with the wash. He may or may not be her lover - but that's irrelevant.

The real brilliance of all this, of course, is in how everything comes together. The album title, Dylan Mondegreen must have something to do with this mundane scene of two people preparing to wash their clothes. But what is the link? For this, I resorted to a bit of highschool etymology. Mondegreen is made up of two words: "Monde", which means "world" in French and "green" is simply the colour of leaves, grass and jealousy. "Dylan" is a Welsh name that means "son of the sea". So, the name of this record really is "Son of the sea, french green world".

Which starts to make sense now. They're not in fact using a washing machine to do their laundry. They are children of the sea, and they are taking their laundry to the green world outsid... what? Wait a minute.

(What? How is it about vegetables? Oh. U-huh. U-huuuh. Oh. You're right.)

Pantsy just pointed out that Mondegreen translates not into "french green world" but "french world of greens". Which means that this album fartwork is all about the vegetable stain on the girl's collar which precipitates the need for doing laundry. Finally, it all makes sense. Thanks Pantsy. Well spotted.

Dylan Mondegreen - Girl In Grass

Look what I found in the bargain bin

Art Brut
It's a Bit Complicated
(Mute)

Price: S$3.95

Oh so this can be rock & roll too huh? Just a guy narrating funny lyrics over punk rock riffs. It does not bother me that everything is rock & roll these days. After all this had given me license to start a rock & roll dream of mine - to have me farting melody lines over some jazz. Ah, but you would say, "that's jazz" and not rock & roll but my friends, the secret is in the fart.

It's distorted.

Art Brut - Nag Nag Nag (from It's a Bit Complicated)

Look what I found in the bargain bin

Richard Hawley
Lady's Bridge
(Mute)

Price: S$3.95

There are uninspiring covers and then there's this one. Sitting Hawley on a chair, with a guitar and a suit is like showing naked girls on the front cover of a porn DVD. Oh wait, they already do that. Sorry, what's the point to this point again? I forgot. Must be because a talking muskrat just zipped by.

Richard Hawley - Tonight the Streets are Ours (from Lady's Bridge)

Copeland Live in Various Parts of Asia: Farewell Tour

Okay explain the point of this farewell tour thing to me again. Oh, so it's sorta like a goodbye to all their fans? Ah right, now I see this. I always thought it was like some big send off, you know, before a band is launched into Jupiter. Oh you did not know they did that? Yes they do, otherwise how can you explain what happened to Robert Smith?

Interstellar travel weighs down on even the strongest of us.

Details:

Date: 5th May 2010 (Wednesday)
Venue: The Warehouse, Singapore
Tickets: TBA

Date: 8th May 2010 (Saturday)
Venue: The Venue Eldorado, Bandung, Indonesia
Tickets: Rp. 175.000 (standard)
Hotline: (62) 22 86065357

Date: 9th May 2010 (Sunday)
Venue: Bentley Music Centre, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia
Tickets: RM70 (online presale – available from April 1st), RM98 (doors)

Copeland - You Have My Attention (from In Motion)

Gig-gles: Kings of Convenience Live in KL

(courtesy of Obvious Girl)

There's about three things you can do at a concert. You can:

a) Go and have yourself a musical blast, especially when you have two unassuming Norwegian blokes armed with acoustic guitars and perfect vocal harmonies singing lovely songs about the 'Cayman Islands'.

b) Go preparing to party, with two unassuming Norwegian blokes armed with acoustic guitars and perfect vocal harmonies singing lovely songs about the 'Cayman Islands' and three guys (openers Tenderfist) who just strode out of the back of a Radio Dept show, mixing up some beats for the earlier two blokes to generally dance to and freak out near the end.

or

c) You can do something that pays tribute to the artist you went to watch, in my case, I decided to grill myself some Norwegian salmon right in the middle of the show. I did it outside though, cause it was a no-smoking zone inside. But hey, who really wants to watch a show featuring two unassuming Norwegian blokes armed with acoustic guitars and perfect vocal harmonies singing lovely songs about the 'Cayman Islands', when you have burned meat on a grill? No price is too big to pay for some fishy goodness.

Kings of Convenience - Know How (from Riot On an Empty Street)

Gig-gles: Placebo, Kuala Lumpur, 16 Mar 2010

(courtesy of Nokia Music Malaysia)

Some people can't handle change well. Like when they see their favourite emo band of their angsty teenage years come to their country for the first time ever, and they realise all the new songs are in major keys, and almost all of them sound happy, and almost none of the old songs are played, and their new drummer is blonde, and their frontman's haircut makes him look more and more like Rachel Weisz... well, it's enough change to make some people go beserk. Or put on some tight silver pants.

But me? Whoosh. No biggie at all, yo. Flowin' with the goin'. You see, I'm a master of change. Matter of fact, change is my middle name. Uhuh. No, for real dude. It is. First name? Oh right, it's Muchomacho. Last name? Jing. Oh yeah, Muchomacho Change Jing. My parents were full-on legends in this whole baby-naming business. Facebook them for suggestions.

Set list:

1. For What It's Worth
2. Ashtray Heart
3. Battle For The Sun
4. Soulmates
5. Speak In Tongues
6. Follow The Cops Back Home
7. Every You Every Me
8. Special Needs
9. Breathe Underwater
10. Julien
11. The Never-Ending Why
12. Come Undone
13. Devil In The Details
14. Meds
15. Song To Say Goodbye
16. Special K
17. The Bitter End

Encore:
18. Bright Lights
19. Infra-red
20. Taste In Men

Placebo - Special K (from Black Market Music)

Look what I found in the bargain bin

The Pipettes
We are the Pipettes
(mi)

Price: S$9.95

Nothing like buying a DVD about three girls in polka dot dresses prancing about pretending to be some girl group. I heard its really quite naughty. What? It's a CD? Nonsense. I have perfect 20/20 vision. Like how I can see that girl a mile across the block over there. Saucy one she is. What? It's a goat? Oh ...

The Pipettes - A Winter Sky (from We are the Pipettes)

Look what I found in the bargain bin

Hope of the States
Left
(Sony BMG)

Price: S$3.95

There are just some things in life that you and only you are destined to see the value of. Take Hope of the States for example. They only have two albums and I own both of them, both purchased straight out of a bargain bin. Are they such a terrible band? Far from it. It's just that people can't see the point. Like how I can't see the point of porridge meals at McDs, or having just one fried chicken when you can have three or why guys like to play with their nuts after they shower. Oh wait, discount that last one. It's supposed to be some time honored code of conduct that guys are never to speak of. If you do, you'll turn into a hot pink rodent.

Hope of the States - Little Silver Birds (from Left)

Let's get lyrical, lyrical: American Music Club - Goodbye to Love (The Carpenters)

I'll say goodbye to love
No one ever cared if I should live or die
Time and time again the chance for love has passed me by
And all I know of love is how to live without it
I just can't seem to find it

So I've made my mind up
I must live my life alone
And though it's not the easy way
I guess I've always known

I'd say goodbye to love
There are no tomorrows for this heart of mine
Surely time will lose these bitter memories
And I'll find that there is someone to believe in
And to live for something I could live for

All the years of useless search
Have finally reached an end
Loneliness and empty days will be my only friend
From this day love is forgotten
I'll go on as best I can

What lies in the future is a mystery to us all
No one can predict the wheel of fortune as it falls
There may come a time when I will see that I've been wrong
But for now this is my song

And it's goodbye to love

I'll say goodbye to love

This version of the classic depressing song reminds me of the time a couple of year ago when I was minding my own business, feeling damn sorry for myself for turning Christina Hendricks lunch offer down, eating a cheap Popsicle, heading back to a lonely house when all of a sudden, out of the blue, I was bitten by a raccoon. I mean, who's heard of a heel-biting raccoon anyway? Just as I was fighting it off, a horse galloped by and trampled all over me (the raccoon still lodged in my leg). And while I was on the floor, trying to pick myself up and wondering why a horse would be running wild in the middle of a city, aliens invaded us and made us slaves for the next decade. That is until I picked myself up from the floor and rescued the world (hee yah).

American Music Club - Goodbye to Love (from V/A If I Were a Carpenter)

Look what I found in the bargain bin

I'm From Barcelona
Who Killed Harry Houdini?
Mute

Price: S$3.95

I'm from Jarakuta. It's somewhere between Jakarta and a the ass of a barracuda. We do nothing but fish, drink beer and watch Happy Days there. Everyone has a mop top and we chase the girls around after dinner. Some times, barbecue some crows and shoot some racoons using BB guns. We've also created a nuclear bomb that we plan to use to take over the world. We are a peace-loving community.

I'm From Barcelona - Headphones (from Who Killed Harry Houdini?)

Gig-gles: Mono, Kuala Lumpur, 30 Jan 2010

Ahhhhhh...

The world is such a quiet place these days. Don't you think so?

Mmmmm...

Yes it is. I believe the world has stopped making noise since Saturday night. Oh, that wondrous Saturday night. Did you notice it too? No? Oh poor child. Can't you tell? All peeps ceased to peep!

OmmmmNommmNommmm....

You mean you can't tell the difference? How odd. Anyways, I can. I even know precisely when the world stopped making noise. It was at 7 minutes and 35 seconds while Mono was playing 'Ashes In The Snow' at their KL gig. Yes, right there. Huh, what do you mean the rest of the gig was noisy? That's madness! The rest of the gig was quiet as heck! It was magnificent watching Mono just swing their hair and strum their guitars with such passion, despite not making a single peep from it. And the crowd... oh such silent reverence! Everyone was just... silent.

Hubbabubbabubbaaa....

Dude, you're mad. And obviously not noticing it. Ah, stuff you. Let me find a chap who does appreciate stillness. Ah you there with the monkey ears! Yes, sir, you! I wave a very good morning to you! Why don't we both celebrate the peace and quiet by massaging each other's ears? Here, you just put your forefinger here, and your thumb here, and...

BOFFFF

Hey, why did you push me! What? Sorry sir, I'm not very good at lip-reading yet. You're saying whaaa...? "Get louts in dirty space?" That's a weird comment. Oh, "Gap owns the nerdy place?" Sir, are you okay? Hmmm.... Oh, what? "Get outta my bloody face?" Oh, I get it! You're asking me to get outta your face! Why didn't you just say so instead of pushing me and moving your lips like a fat tapir and trying to...

*PAFFF!!!*

Set list:

1. Ashes In The Snow
2. Burial At The Sea
3. Follow The Map
4. Yearning
5. Are You There?
6. 2 Candles, 1wish
7. Where Am I
8. Kidnapper Bell
9. Halcyon (Beautiful Days)
10. Everlasting Light

Mono - Ashes in the Snow (from Hymn To The Immortal Wind)

Piratte Scoopmour 2: Dashboard Confessional in Malaysia

Tipster extraordinaire Piratte has provided us with another scoopmour: Dashboard Confessional in Malaysia. Buy hanky shares now.

So anyways, back to what I was talking about earlier. I really think it's important that you understand the difference between a rumour and a scoopmour. You see, last time my momma told me Barney was big, purple and friendly. Instantly I recognised that as a rumour, and mummy was a kidder. Then on the day I graduated, Uncle Wally told me a Double Whopper with Cheese was healthier than a cup of carrots. I knew straight away that was a scoopmour, and Uncle Wally was smarter than Sherlock. So you see? All it takes is time. Just gotta be more mature, y'know? Yeah. you'll get it one day when you grow up. Remember me when you do. Ok, back to flossing. Whoops, dropped it, let me just bend down and...Wha... watch out for what wall? *BASHHHH* What are you on about? Sheesh.

Dashboard Confessional - Stolen (from Dusk and Summer)

Gig-gles: Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Singapore, 12 Jan 2010

So you must be wondering: the Yeah Yeah Yeahs played last Tuesday. And yet this blog post about the gig only comes out a week later. What's the deal?

To set the record straight, I must give an adequate explanation for the long delay. It has nothing to do with the giant balloon eyeballs at the gig, or the fact that everyone was standing on their chairs and armrests for the whole 90 mins, or that Karen O passed the mic around the front row of fans for them to singalong to 'Cheated Hearts', or the acoustic version of 'Maps', or that Karen O tried to swallow her mic, or that Karen O was spewing water, or that Karen O was an Indian headdress, or Karen O wearing a leather studded jacket, or that I got hold of the set list at the end.

No, the delay has got nothing to do with any of the above. So what's the official reason? It's because I just am. Uhuh. Just am. I know, totally explains everything. You should am too.

Set list:
1. Runaway
2. Phenomena
3. Pin
4. Black Tongue
5. Dull Life
6. Zero
7. Miles Away
8. Heads Will Roll
9. Skeletons
10. Hysteric
11. Gold Lion
12. Cheated Hearts
13. Y Control

Encore:
14. Maps (Acoustic)
15. Turn Into
16. Date With The Night

Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Date With The Night (from Fever To Tell)

Camera Obscura Live in Indonesia ... Twice!

This is like inviting an old school friend over for dinner only to find out that since you last saw her (in braces and with frizzy hair), she's turned into a crime-fighting superhero that moonlights as a comic book artist, stripper and monster movie starlet in her free time. Yeah I know what you're thinking - how does she find the time to do so many things in her free time? Well, see, that's why they call them superheroes you numbnuck. Otherwise she would just be a stripper. Hey wait, what was the original question again? I seem to forget everything as soon as 'stripping' is involved. It's a weakness thing. Yeah that's right, like Kryptonite.

Details:

LA Lights Indie Fest
Date: Saturday, March 20th 2010
Venue: Bandung, Indonesia
Tickets: TBA

Date: Sunday, March 21st 2010
Venue: Yogyakarta, Indonesia
Tickets: TBA

Camera Obscura - A Sister's Social Agony (from Underachievers Please Try Harder)

Let's get lyrical, lyrical: The Fratellis - Whistle for the Choir

Well it's a big big city and it's always the same
Can never be too pretty tell me you your name
Is it out of line if I was to be bold and say "Would you be mine"?

Because I may be a beggar and you may be the queen
I know I may be on a downer am still ready to dream
Now it's 3 o'clock the time is just the time it takes for you to talk

So if you're lonely why'd you say you're not lonely
Oh you're a silly girl, I know I hurt it so
It's just like you to come
And go and know me no you don't even know me
You're so sweet to try, oh my, you caught my eye
A girl like you's just irresistible

Well it's a big big city and the lights are all out
But it's much as I can do you know to figure you out
And I must confess, my hearts in broken pieces
And my heads a mess
And it's 4 in the morning, and I'm walking along
Beside the ghost of every drinker here who has ever done wrong
And it's you, woo hoo
That's got me going crazy for the things you do

So if you're crazy I don't care you amaze me
Oh you're a stupid girl, oh me, oh my, you talk
I die, you smile, you laugh, I cry
And only, a girl like you could be lonely
And it's a crying shame, if you would think the same
A boy like me's just irresistible

So if your lonely, why'd you say you're not lonely
Oh you're a silly girl, I know I hurt it so
It's just like you to come and go
And know me, no you don't even know me
You're so sweet to try oh my, you caught my eye
A girl like you's just irresistible

The only thing I am thinking while reading the lyrics to this song is how the hell did a beggar come up to a queen and ask if she was lonely. Within 30 feet of her some secret agent or those guards with the large black heads should've stir-fried his balls with a deep-fryer where he stood. Man, things used to be a lot more efficient back in the days. Yes I did say he will 'stir-fry' in a 'deep-fryer', if you did not catch how awesome that was, you my dear sir/madam, are a zombie.

The Fratellis - Whistle for the Choir (from Costello Music)

This Week's Track 9: The Cranberries - Ridiculous Thoughts

I had a ridiculous thought just a moment ago. For a moment, I thought I had superpowers. You know, super strength, flight, heat vision, x-ray vision (my favorite), etc and I was defending the earth from an evil alien race of Elvis impersonators. It was so vivid, almost real.

Ha ha, got you there. I had a ridiculous thought about being a lawyer. Oh shit! Duck! Die Elvis scum. Get back to the heartbreak hotel where you belong.

The Cranberries - Ridiculous Thoughts (from No Need to Argue)

B-Side of the Week: Samson

Starflyer 59
Samson (from the Fell in Love at 22 EP)
(Tooth and Nail)

Okay strictly speaking, this is not exactly a B-side.

But I've not exactly been one that's big on 'strictly speaking'.

Cause if I dealt with 'strictly speaking', then strictly speaking I am a half camel, half cheetah hybrid. Yeah, I can run fast and last long in deserts. That and I have a huge hump on my back. Oh wait, it's at the front. Oh wait, that's not a camel hump, it's a ... shit ... what am I?! Oh wait, okay all is fine. I kick ass.

Starflyer 59 - Samson

The Sick Sick Six: ways the Nokia X6 can help a pirate be more piratey

So recently, I was given a new phone, The Nokia X6, as part of the phone's pre-launch. And after subjecting it to hours of utter rigorous, super-strenuous product testing, I have come to six conclusions about why this phone is almost as good as Pirate Genusfrog's farts. Cos like, those are utterly excellent too, y'know. I have a jar of it every night before bed. That, and two cucumbers.

1. The battery can give 35 hours of music listening time
How that helps: As someone who can keep going on forever, I know what it's like. Yes, she tells me I can keep going. Her too. Them also. Oh him too? Oh,... HIM? Heheh. That's ok. We're talking about golf, right?
Beach House - Some Things Last A Long Time (from Devotion)

2. The mondo giant headphones
How that helps: Anything mondo giant is automatically 65% more helpful. Like my mondo giant French maid. She climbs walls and cleans drainpipes. Seriously helpful.
Urbandub - Fallen On Deaf Ears (from Influence)

3. It comes with unlimited music downloads of songs that you can keep forever
How that helps: You been to a Japanese buffet right? The kind where all food might be shite, but you can have 68,000 scoops of green tea ice cream and then declare the Japanese buffet is the most value for money shindig since your subscription to Pigeon Hunters Monthly? Same idea.
The Ropes - Love Is A Chain Store (from Love Is A Chain Store)

4. The camera has Carl-Zeiss optics autofocus
How that helps: Dude, haven't you heard? Anything that has a foreign-sounding name is nothing but awesome. Oh btw, meet my son: Zwgewiski Iradisko Lim. His first words are "sexay daday".
The Hidden Cameras - The Little Bit (from Origin: Orphan)

5. The GPS maps and all that other web browsing stuff
How that helps: I don't know, actually. Cos I like, never get lost and all. When I turn left, I mean to go left. Even when the steakhouse is right, I go left. It is the steakhouse that must go left.
Mono - Follow The Map (from Hymn To The Immortal Wind)

6. The touchscreen
How that helps: I like touching. Yes, I do it to everything and everyone I meet. They like it when I touch too. They especially li... Oh, what are those two cops doing in front of my house? Hey, that looks like Mrs Rogers there with them. Hmm, I did meet her at the supermarket yesterday...
Cult With No Name - Hands, Two Touch (from Careful What You Wish For)

Let's get lyrical, lyrical: Anthony and the Johnsons - Bird Gehrl

I am a bird girl now
I've got my heart
Here in my hands now
I've been searching
For my wings some time

I'm gonna be born
Into soon the sky

'Cause I'm a bird girl
And the bird girls go to heaven
I'm a bird girl
And the bird girls can fly
Bird girls can fly

Wow this song's such a twehrl. As in you know, it spins well. I mean, twehrling is actually very different from whehrling. I am not sure what the difference is but I do know that as of now, I cannot spell.

For the record, this song's really about stating the obvious - bird girls can fly, cow boys can moo and geek dongs are long. Okay the last one may only be true in regards to me.

Anthony and the Johnsons - Bird Gehrl (from I Am A Bird Now)

Best of 2009: What if my Best 8 Albums of 2009 were Twitter Posts

Twitter is, like, so OMGGG. Like these albums. OMGGGG.

Camera Obscura - My Maudlin Career

Type of Twitter post: last weekend's beach getaway

Sample post: "The sun is so XOXO-fun!!! Gawd, is that a lyric? It is!!! Gotta tell my honey bun sugar munchie"

Camera Obscura - James (from My Maudlin Career)

Sleeping At Last - Storyboards

Type of Twitter post: The quintessential Richard Linklater movie dissertation

Sample post: "The juggler dude in Before Sunrise signifies urban repression. Ebert, u be pwned"

Sleeping at Last - Birdcage Religion (from Storyboards)

The Antlers - Hospice

Type of Twitter post: wtfrudrinkin?

Sample post: "The monkey owns my liver. My liver lives in the river. Pee on me now"

The Antlers - Shiva (from Hospice)

The Rest - Everyone All At Once

Type of Twitter post: The post about nothing at all

Sample post: "Wow, that was so wow"

The Rest - Drinking Again (from Everyone All At Once)

Lily Allen - It's Not Me, It's You

Type of Twitter post: The post-breakup post

Sample post: "&%$# $ #$%#$^ &@%@%@% @%@ ^@^@&@@ &@@ @@#%$%#%$"

Lily Allen - Chinese (from It's Not Me, It's You)

David Bazan - Curse The Branches

Type of Twitter post: Existence is futile (but beer is not)

Sample post: "The truth called out to me this morning. I burped back"

David Bazan - In Stitches (from Curse The Branches)

Pearl Jam - Backspacer

Type of Twitter post: Pub crawling with long-lost buddies

Sample post: "@SykoSimon just downed his 54th shot and..., danggg, dude's getting a tattoo on his nipple right now! Bodacious!!!"

Pearl Jame - Amongst The Waves (from Backspacer)

Twiggy Frostbite - Through Fire

Type of Twitter post: Flue and fever galore
Sample post: "Sniff sniff. Someone hug me now, please. Ahh, Fluffy. Thanks. That's nice #ilovemysugarglider"

Twiggy Frostbite - I'm Still Here (from Through Fire)

Mono Live in Malaysia (Again): Jan 30, KLPAC

Ah there goes another one that can't quite get enough of them Nasi Lemaks. I heard sambal is a little hard to find up in Japan, and rightfully so. So what's a good old 'sambal-loving' band's supposed to do in such dire times? Come over to Malaysia again of course. And apparently this time, they are towing a string trio along for the ride, you know, for dramatic effect. That, and to cut the sashimi.

Shhh ... but I heard one of their member's name is Yoda. Rumor has it is that he's hairy, possibly green and speaks in grammatically incorrect sentences.

Details:

Date: Saturday, January 30th

Time: 8:00PM

Location:Pentas 2, KL Performing Arts Centre
Tickets: TBA

Mono - The Kidnapper Bell (from Under the Pipal Tree)

Let's get lyrical, lyrical: The Smashing Pumpkins - Mayonaise

Fool enough to almost be it
Cool enough to not quite see it
Doomed
Pick your pockets full of sorrow
And run away with me tomorrow
June

We'll try and ease the pain
But somehow we'll feel the same
Well, no one knows
Where our secrets go

I send a heart to all my dearies
When your life is so, so dreary
Dream
I'm rumored to the straight and narrow
While the harlots of my perils
Scream

And I fail
But when I can, I will
Try to understand
That when I can, I will

Mother weep the years I'm missing
All our time can't be given
Back
Shut my mouth and strike the demons
That cursed you and your reasons
Out of hand and out of season
Out of love and out of feeling
So bad

When I can, I will
Words defy the plan
When I can, I will

Fool enough to almost be it
And cool enough to not quite see it
And old enough to always feel this
Always old, I'll always feel this

No more promise no more sorrow
No longer will I follow
Can anybody hear me
I just want to be me
When I can, I will
Try to understand
That when I can, I will

Ah Billy Corgan is a smart man. Not content with his fixation for BBB (Blonde Bombshell Bassists), he's gone on to write a whole song about him wanting to be well, him. But I see where he is going with on this one. It's a 'nothing'. He can't be him because he 'is' him. Just like how no one else can be me because I am awesomest maximus (Greek translation: Can bed 20 women at a go). Slightly different but largely the same.

Do I want to be Billy Corgan? Me? Hmm ... sure why not? Pass me the shaver ...

*Buzz*

I am Billy Corgan (said in troll-like voice). Bow unto me for I am bald, and I sing like Gollum (might even look like Gollum). Bow ... shit is that Courtney Love? This shit's too difficult for me, bye.

The Smashing Pumpkins - Mayonaise (from Siamese Dream)

Because Old and Wrinkled is Twinkle: The Beach Boys Live In Manila - January 27, 2010

Okay they may not look old and wrinkly here but I can assure you, this picture was taken about 5,000 years ago. Yep, just about the time dinosaurs ruled the earth (plus, minus some years here and there). If you look seriously closely in the background, you should be able to see a shadow of a T-Rex. No, not that duffy 70s rocker, the lizard. Yeah, serious, look closely.

Oh wait, that might be Brian Wilsons' hair cream.

Details:

Date: 27th January 2010 (Wednesday)
Venue: Araneta Coliseum, Manila
Prices: PhP 4020 (Patron VIP, reserved seating), PhP 3700 (Patron B, reserved seating), PhP 2960 (Lower Box, reserved seating), PhP 1900 (Upper Box A, reserved seating), PhP 850 (Upper Box B) & PhP 530 (general admission)
Tickets: On sale via TicketNet now

The Beach Boys - I Get Around (from All Summer Long)

311, Jakarta, 30 March 2010

So you know how all these forgotten 90s rock dudes are going to Indonesia right? I have finally figured out why that happens. It's because Indonesia gives cheap haircuts. For real, yo. Because when all those 90s rock dudes became forgotten, they sorta forgot a whole lotta things themselves. Like how to pee, poo or cut their hair.

That's really natural, actually. Like how our fellow Pirate Genusfrog sometimes forgets he's a pirate, and then subsequently starts forgetting other things in life that used to be so natural to him. Y'know, like brushing his turtle's teeth, putting on his eye patch or sprinkling his toe nails on his Caesar salad. Yes, all that were things he used to do on a daily basis. These days, he just sits stoning and watching My Little Pony reruns.

Poor chap. Sometimes we wonder if he needs help. Other times, we just steal his credit card.

311 - Down (from 311)

Imogen Heap, Singapore 29 March 2010

I know what you're thinking. The moment this date was announced, I was also thinking the same thing. And you know what it means when you and I think the same thing, right? Yes, you're right! You were thinking that too? Amaaazing. Ok, ok, so let's together say out loud what we're thinking, ok? Kinda like a kindy game! Goody, goody! Ok: one, two, three:

What is an imogen heap?

I know, I know. It's perplexing, really. Like, we all know what's a heap of doggy poo, right? And we all know what's a heap of french fries. Or a heap of bikinis. But a heap of imogens? That is seriously tricky.

But so yes, back to us. It's amazing how you and I are constantly thinking the same thing. Almost mystical, really. We must be somehow related. Is your surname Megatron? No? Oh, scram then. And give me back my torpedo blasters, you turd.

Venue: Esplanade Concert Hall, Singapore

Prices: $48 (student price – limited), $68, $88, $108, $128 & $148 (excluding Sistic fees). Fans of Greenhorn Productions Facebook page will be eligible for priority booking/discounts

Imogen Heap - Say Goodnight and Go (remixed by Back Ted N-Ted)

Rarity on the Rarity: Scenic World (Second Version)

Beirut
Scenic World (Second Version)
(Ba Da Bing!)
Rare factor: Little-known follow up to their smashing debut, featuring an alternate version to this album track that sounds strangely, Irish? It sounds better yes, that's what we wanted to say.

There's only two ways you can redo a song, you can either do it the same way it was done before, or you can do it the Irish way, which basically involves you dressing up in green, growing orange facial hair, trying to grab the waitresses bottoms with your left hand while swigging a mug of lager with your right and then every five seconds you say 'Aye' and sail off on a pirate ship? What do you mean pirates aren't Irish? Aren't they the same thing?

Beirut - Scenic World

Mosaic Music Festival 2010: Ooompa loompa from 12 - 21 Mar, 2010

Sigh Mosaic has just unleashed their lineup and we must say, it doeseth weteth oureth pantseth. The legendarily old Dinosaur Jr, is a wet dream for anyone that's above 32, or is interested to see Gandalf the White in person (see picture above). On top of that there's the previously reported 65daysofstatic, St. Vincent, The Go Team and Kings of Convenience. There's also Kool and the Gang but I'm saving that for my granddad.

We just want to say that we have Ne-Yo. Yup, just one, we know but hey, the man looks half asleep most of the time. No, no, it's a good thing cause he has enough rest. My grandma used to tell me that if you want to date hot chicks you need to have enough rest. Okay she may have said 'zest' instead but hey, zest, rest, what's the difference anyway? One letter? Just one stupid letter? And you think the world's going to change on that? I think not pretty boy.

Dinosaur Jr - Never Bought It (from Hand It Over)

Word for the Week: Three

That's Pantsy in the center. Yeah, had one too many hot dogs.

'Three' is a wonderful word. More importantly it's hardly a beautiful word on any week other than this week. Why? Because this week, yours truly, Geekus Largus will only be working for a grand total of three days. Which essentially means he has a four day weekend, which he will use to service his five maidens, who usually bring along their six dogs, which usually result in them biting seven of his limbs off, leaving only eight of them left, which will be used to acquire nine of them back because the extra one is really a 10-out-of-10. Any guess which limb that is?

Yep, my left scrotum.

Rilo Kiley - Three Hopeful Thoughts (from The Execution of All Things)

Lets see, what are my three hopeful thoughts for the week? 'Pork', 'Chicken' and 'Pork'. Oh, it's not all about food. The middle one's this chick named Chicken. Wears a mean feather boa that's difficult to take off. Almost feels like actual feathers. People these days.

The Lassie Foundation - Three Wheels (from Jetstreams, Three Wheels EP)

In the spirit of my three day work week, I have decided to remove one of the wheels on my car. Been brilliant, works wonders over bumps and causes the car to do a lovely back flip every corner I take. I feel like a gymnast.

Buffalo Tom - Three Easy Pieces (from Three Easy Pieces)

That's how much I am worth, yee ha! Oh what? They don't do currency with 'pieces' anymore? What year is this? 2009? Shit no kid? How old is Megan Fox these days? Wow. And to think when I first thought of her, she was but a apparition at the corner of a vision I had during, you know, that time when Robin Hood lived.

Let's get lyrical, lyrical: Teenage Fanclub - Bandwagonesque

She wears denim wherever she goes
Says she's gonna get some records by the Status Quo
Oh yeah ... Oh yeah ...

Still she won't be forced against her will
Says she don't do drugs but she does the pill
Oh yeah ... Oh yeah ...

I didn't want to hurt you oh yeah ...
I didn't want to hurt you oh yeah ...

Says she likes my hair 'cause it's down my back
Says she likes the group 'cause we pull in the slack
Oh yeah ... Oh yeah ...

When she's at the gig she takes her car
And she drive us home if it is in a bar
Oh yeah ... Oh yeah ...

I didn't want to hurt you oh yeah ...
I didn't want to hurt you oh yeah ...

I have a short attention span. How short? I once shot a McDs drive-thru employee because she took eight-seconds to put my pack together. Eight-bloody seconds. Do you know what I can do with eight-bloody seconds? I could kick someone's nuts.

So yeah, I don't intend on reading lyrics too much but okay lets see what this song's about. There appears to be many mentions of 'yeah'. And a mention of 'denim'. Swell, I think this is a song about a sexy girl in denim. Yeah ... (like 'yeah').

Shit, there is also a mention of Status Quo. God, I think this is a song about gays. I'm gonna go puke now.

Teenage Fanclub - The Concept (from Bandwagonesque)