B-Side Of The Week - The Exploding Boy

The Cure
The Exploding Boy (from the In Between Days single)
(Fiction Records)

How about a classic b-side? Yeah, I sure do dig classics. Just like that time, when my teacher told us to cut out stories from the papers and i hunted down a mint copy of The New York Times from 7 August 1945, the morning after Hiroshima's bombing. I cut up the front page and used it for show and tell. I don't know why but everyone was so disapproving.

And I remember the time when my friend had his nine-year old birthday party and his mum told me to bring some extra orange juice. I didn't know where mum kept all the jars, so I hunted down this 1775 Royal Copenhagen blue glaze porcelain pitcher. I went over, plonked it on the table and said "here's the orange juice". His mum fell over and was concussed for three weeks.

Now I really don't understand why people don't like me handling classics. Which is why, in the course of writing this blog, I've decided to withhold from giving you a real classic, and serve up something from 1985 instead. 1985? Blergh. Wasn't that like, a few days ago?

The Cure - The Exploding Boy

Look what I found in the bargain bin

Cypress Hill
Black Sunday
(Ruffhouse)

Price: S$6.95

You know that experience you get when you listen to stuff today that you heard when you were a teenager, and you suddenly realise that what you thought the artiste meant at that time, and what the artiste actually meant, were two vastly different things? You know the feeling of "Oh, why didn't I see that then" that comes when you discover that those lyrics you had been reciting during family dinners were actually about something else, but your puerile brain was too untainted to pick it up and you didn't get why your aunts and uncles kept staring at you and holding bars of soap, all ready to shove it into your mouth?

You know how all that feels, right? Good on ya. Cos I don't have the slightest clue. Since I was five months old, I totally understood everything I heard. Like, 2.4 seconds after I heard something, it would be seamlessly registered itself through my mega-developed frontal lobe, efficiently processed via a myriad of firing synapses and neurons, and make complete sense. Nothing got by me, I'm telling you.

And so Black Sunday? Heard it when I was 12. And yup, instantly got the whole thing. Snap-a-da-fingers. So picking it up one recent afternoon in a prissy Singapore record store was a no brainer. 'Hits From The Bong'? Still sounds like an ode to King Kong's cousin. And 'Legalize It'? Of course they were talking about passing a law that would let us keep penguins for pets. And that whole 20-point tirade in the CD liner notes about the benefits of some grassy plant? Hmmm... now that one's still got me stumped. I never could read good.

Cypress Hill - Break 'Em Off Some (from Black Sunday)

Bear Garden gives away a song a month

June Somsiri Sangkaew, aka Bear Garden, must have ended 2007 with an epiphany. How else to explain her decision to give away 11 songs in 11 months in 2008? Yeah, this electropop bassorita and co-founder of Thailand's Panda Records is letting us netty peeps download one track a month (this month's lolly ain't out, but u can get the March song below).

On second thoughts, maybe she wasn't struck by an epiphany. Maybe she's just wired like that. Why, anything cute and chirpy is bound to be generous. For instance, have you met Ricardo, my salamander? Dude never fails to share his flies with his brothers and sisters. Even lets me have a nibble or two to go with my fried rice. Now, you can dispute the "cute" side of Ricardo, and argue that having 18 operations on his voice box to give him that requisite chirp isn't exactly natural, and say that blablablablablblabla... oh shush. Stop peeing on someone's charity, people. God bless his heart.

To find out more, click here.

Bear Garden - เรือลำน้อย (Full Ahead A Little Ship) (Internet single)

Groove Armada join Bacardi

Groove Armada might have just out-Radioheaded Radiohead. In this mondo-cool era of scorning the big record label, these dance daddies have signed up with Bacardi for a four-track EP and a deal that allows the company to use the duo's songs for promo shindigs.

Bacardi? All I gotta say is that when you got rum rompers funding your ass, it's no wonder you'd only record a four-track EP. Smashin', y'all.

To read more, click here.

Groove Armada - If Everybody Looked the Same (from Vertigo)

Look what I found in the bargain bin

Gin Blosssoms
Congratulations... I'm Sorry
(A&M)

Price: RM10

Some things from your teenage years stay smashing all the way into adulthood. Take for instance Gin Blossoms' Congratulations... I'm Sorry. Wipe away two decades of dust, crush the spiders inside the jewel case and it might as well be 1996 again.

Alas, not all nostalgias are like that. Case in point, my teenage sweetheart. When I met her, she was a honey-dripping bambi-eyed painter who spent her Saturday mornings as the captain of the gymnastics team. Boy was she something on my uneven bars. Today, she has maggots crawling out of her face and a beer dispenser surgically mounted into her lower back. She just sits there all day, getting drunk and letting the flies move in and out of her cheeks. What a waste. I almost married her.

Gin Blossoms - Not Only Numb (from Congratulations... I'm Sorry)

Gig-gles: Comeback Kid Live in Malaysia - 26th April (Updated)

What's the obsession with these post-hardcore bands with the word 'kid' and 'boy'? I mean, granted I absolutely think that I am still a kid even though I am 31.

Like the other day, I walked into a school near my home, and into a classroom and sat for biology. And sure I did not bring my text book, my butt isn't exactly a perfect fit for those little wooden chairs and I tried to chat up a few hot 13-year old girls, but I thought them getting four teachers and a few guards to forcefully grab me and throw me out the school grounds was a bit of an overreaction.

Oh yeah the gig. It's happening. But other than the date, the venue and other details are unconfirmed. Stay tuned on this space for more updates.

Details are in:

Date: 26th April 2008
Time: 3pm
Venue: Zouk KL
Price: RM55.00 (pre-sale), RM65.00 (door)
Opening bands: Restraint, Love Me Butch, Cassandra, Kids on the Glove, Plague of Happiness and Second Combat

Comeback Kid - Wake the Dead (from Wake the Dead)

Foo Fighters Live in Malaysia - Year end?

I asked a friend recently if he would go watch the Foo Fighters if they ever came to Malaysia (there's a frightening rumor that they will be heading here year end). He said yes, strangely. I wouldn't.

Why? Because if I go watch them, I would be admitting that aliens do exist. And never mind that the term 'foo fighter' was used to qualify any erratically-moving flying object, I still prefer to be safe than sorry.

What did you say? Band? Of course they do, they travel in bands so that they can ambush you easier. Don't be fooled.

Foo Fighters - Generator (from There's Nothing Left to Lose)

Look what I found in the bargain bin

Dappled Cities Fly
A Smile
(Smash Music)

Price: AU$7.50

I'm not a bitter man. No, really. I've forgiven the boy who broke my Snake Eyes action figure, and the girl who dropped my ice cream, and the hippopotamus who laughed when I tried to do ballet and instead peed in my pants. Yes, I'm a complete, whole adult male.

That is, until two months ago. Now, one person will never be forgiven. He or she is destined to face the wrath of my sharpened-12-times-a-day katana. He or she had better not be driving on the same road as my heat-seeking missile-armed tractor.

Who is this person? The dude who handled the timetable for Big Day Out, and found it no biggie to schedule Dappled Cities Fly on a small stage at the same time as Silverchair, who hogged the main platform, thus forcing me to watch the doinkface that is Daniel Johns in order to retain my prime spot for Bjork and Rage Against The Machine later that evening.

So... dude, you like strawberries? Eat them while you can, you dork. You're lucky I'm a better bargain hunter than I am a human tracker.

Dappled Cities Fly - Blame It On The Boys (from A Smile)

Word for the Week: Tragic

Because...

Corinne Bailey Rae's husband passed away from a drug overdose. Ain't too much to say about that except... sigh.

No Doubt - Tragic Kingdom (from Tragic Kingdom)
Someone has my copy of this. He is going to pay with his tes... oh fine, no murder talk today.

Les Savy Fav - Tragic Monsters (from Go Forth)
This razorblade suitcase could carve up a polar bear, but remains enraptured with Tim Harrington's wrists.

Tragicomedy - Never Lonely (from Songs That Won't Sell)
Malaysian pop rocker's knack for the hook makes us wonder why we didn't defy the pessimism of his debut's title.

Operator, Please - Crash Tragic (from Cement Cement EP)
Gold Coast pube punkers find time to shush, swear, squeal and snuggle, all in two minutes. No wonder I love my shy nephew so much.

Sondre Lerche - Tragic Mirror (from Phantom Punch)
This Norse narrative about the unexamined man gets all the sweet, sparse treatment it deserves.

Look what I found in the bargain bin

Coldplay
Parachutes
(Nettwerk)

Price: S$10.00

I have been meaning to own this for awhile.

Not that I am bragging or anything but yeah, pretty much whatever I plan to own, I end up owning. Like the other day, I planned to own this seriously hot chick at the mall. So I just went over to her, cuffed her hands and dragged her along to my car.

And sure, I was manhandled by some rude cops who claimed I was 'kidnapping'. How the heck can you kidnap something that's already yours? I was baffled. They sure don't make cops like they used to.

Coldplay - Trouble (from Parachutes)

B-Side of the Week - Carry On Up The Morning

Babyshambles
Carry On Up The Morning (from the You Talk single)
(Regal Records/Parlophone/EMI)

When I was a wee toddler of two, I entered a candy store and left with about 100 pounds of candy tucked inside my pants. Yeah, I was a big kid. And you know what they say about kids with big hands?

They wear big gloves.

I sold half of all that candy and made me enough money to pay my way out of toilet training school. Till today, I have no idea how to shit in a loo, but I sure know how to make money from stealing candy. And you know what they say about kids who steal candy?

They must have big hands. And you know what they say about kids with big hands.

And so my business grew and grew. And so did my girth. I'm so big today that nobody allows me into their stores anymore. In fact, nobody allows me into their towns anymore. They say I clog up the streets. Must be related to how I prematurely left toilet training school. And you know what they say about adults that shit about everywhere, don't you? You do know, don't you?

Yeah. They say nothing about them. They just don't like to talk about that kinda stuff.

Babyshambles - Carry On Up The Morning

Let's get lyrical, lyrical: Ron Sexsmith - Imaginary Friends

Imaginary friends
They will always let you down
And when all the good times end
You won't be seeing them around

For they run where the action is
And they'll cross you off their list
Do you comprehend now
To imaginary friends You don't exist
No

They'll ask you where you've been
But never wait for your reply
They'll meet you when your ship comes in
But never meet you eye to eye

As all the friends who've been real and true
Wonder who you're talkin' to
One thing you can depend on Imaginary friends
They can't see you
No

You can paint them a beautiful picture
But they won't understand
You can count all your friends on the fingers
Of one scalded hand

Imaginary friends
They will always leave you hanging ...
And you won't see them again

For they've gone where the action is
And they've crossed you off their list
Do you comprehend now
Imaginary friends
They don't exist
No
Imaginary friends
They don't exist
No no no

I used to have an imaginary friend too. His name was Kundu. Kundu had beautiful smooth yellow skin and a coney head. My dad and mom tried to convince me that it was just a banana. But I refused to believe it. Cause Kundu taught me many things about life, including how to pull chicks and cheat at video games. Then about a month later, Kundu turned all black and mom proceeded to chuck him into a bin. I still wake up some nights screaming Kundu's name.

Ron Sexsmith - Imaginary Friends (from Retriever)

Look what I found in the bargain bin

The Elected
Me First
(Sub Pop)

Price: AU$5.00

You know how people have that "Everytime I walk into a shop I must buy something" syndrome? I don't have that. Heck, the only reason I bought this album was because of the pig on the cover. The porker was even embossed. It had me at "oink".

But I digress. As I was saying, I don't suffer from that syndrome. Indeed, I'm quite immune to most of life's crippling syndromes. I have no subconscious desire to reorganise my t-shirts in order of tone, or an uncontrollable urge to walk in between the lines of floor tiles, or an unexplained predilection towards animals with furry ears.

My family doctor begs to differ though. He says I have a tendency to crash my 18-wheeler into grandpas who eat lollipops while scratching their nipples. But they haven't found a term for that, so it doesn't count, I told doc. Then he pulled out a Chupa Chup and lifted his hands to his chest. His kneecaps have been lodged in my bumper for three weeks now. Still don't know what he was talking about.

The Elected - Don't Blow It (from Me First)

This Week's Track 9 - Hey Miss Cane by Devendra Banhart

The lubricant fell. One panther caught on tape is not appalling. But two can make the sky rain lime. And so the detective haunts the empty sugarcane streets. He stops by the bell. It rings. It rings for liberty and gondolas. Three roads down, a piano has fallen from the balcony. It lands on the policeman, who gets up and says a word that sounds like "Burundi", but isn't. The acorns roll down the hill. They roll like wolves in cylinder dahlias. Everyone cries. Some in joy. Some in cardboard boxes. Before them all lies the royal guard. Standing in single file, they hold aloft the wooly kitten.

Devendra Banhart - Hey Miss Cane (track 9 from Oh Me Oh My... The Way the Day Goes By The Sun Is Setting Dogs Are Dreaming Lovesongs of the Christmas Spirit)

New Release: Fever Marlene - White China

With the resurrected body of Jeff Buckley and John Lennon in tow with Michael Stipe, Thom Yorke, Bono and members from Arcade Fire, The Smiths and The Stone Roses, the bearded duo called Fever Marlene decided that the time is now right for their publicist to make that all important statement.

"They are better than The Beatles."

Hey wait a minute, isn't John also in the band now? "Yeah, even he agrees that this band is better than THAT band."

Oh, right.

Track list:

1) White China
2) Oh Berlin
3) Won't Let You Down
4) Lemon King Mahoney
5) Untitled (Chelsea)
6) How Do You Love
7) Don't Know Why I Worry So
8) My Heart (It's Harder Than a Stone)
9) Belladonna
10) Check for Pulse

Fad of the Land: Voice of McDonald's II

So you work in a company where 1.6 million other people do the same thing you do. How the heck you gonna stand out? Why, sing, by golly!

Therein lies the premise of Voice of McDonald’s II. Open to all Maccers restaurant staff, something like 3,600 people from 53 countries signed up for this in-house contest. The top 14 have been picked, and now its up to we the customers to choose the three best, who will then go to Orlando to compete for a US$25,000 first prize.

So who's the worthy winner? The German dude. Why, cos he sings awesome? Heck no. He's the champ because hands down, he's got the trippiest video. Basically, he walks around a bar with a gecko on his shoulder and a drunk caribou on the floor that chomps on an empty glass. His closest competitor would be the Russian gal, who sounds like she swallowed the German dude's gecko. They've both got serious talent. So ladies and gents, vote. May we always endeavour to make sure that our double cheeseburgers come courtesy of the world's most bored weirdos.

Link: www.mcdonalds.com/usa/voice.html

Amadou and Mariam (featuring Manu Chao) - Senegal Fast Food (from Dimanche à Bamako) [BUY]

Word for the Week: Sin

Because...

It's Easter. Easter Schmeaster? Well, Schmeaster feaster, you beaster!

Gomez - These 3 Sins (from Split The Difference)
"We don't want to harm you," insists Ian Ball. With a gooey shuffle like this? Even my cicada need not fear.

Grande - Rhythms of Sin (from Uppers, Downers, Screamers & Howlers)
Kjetil Grande teleports Yuma to Oslo. Dang those Norwegians are clever.

Small Sins - Bullet (from Mood Swings)
A slick swap from D'Arcy's usual electropop leads to this delicate doomsday ditty.

Robot Ate Me - Sin Like Holy Men (from Good World)
Awww shucks, is that you, Envy, huddling in the corner? C'mere and suck my finger.

Iggy Pop - Some Weird Sin (from Lust for Life)
Gramps needs a vice as his licence to chill. He also needs implants.

Gig-gles: Broken Social Scene Live at Mosaic Music Festival, Singapore - 9 March 2008

Photo courtesy of Esplanade, Singapore

Watching Broken Social Scene is like going on a blind date.

It's all about hoping for the best cause you never know what you are going to get. You get yourself ready by bathing in perfume and squeezing yourself into your Saturday night's best. You clean your car of the empty Livita bottles and 2-year old chicken bones. You drive out early and park at the street next to hers waiting, preparing and generally just making sure you don't shit in your pants.

Then as you clutch tightly onto your bouquet of flowers, buzz her door bell and she opens the door, you find that the 'she' you've been expecting is really a 'he'. And not only is he a 'he', he also happens to have a beard. And not just any beard, but a Biblical beard. Yeah the type that gets tangled up with your pubes. And he stinks of cheap beer and starts cussing about your mom, dad, aunt and cousin's boyfriend's sister's best friend's pet platypus. And just as you are about to cry your eyes out for being such a loser, he says 'Gojira'.

And suddenly, dating a bearded man doesn't sound so bad after all.

Broken Social Scene - Looks Just Like the Sun (from You Forgot it in People)

Gig-gles: Mum Live at Mosaic Music Festival, Singapore - 13 March 2008

Photo courtesy of Esplanade, Singapore

When I was 10, my auntie brought me to a Disney on Ice performance. I was so chuffed, I wore my Bambi costume to the show, complete with the furry white tail. But as the night progressed I discovered, to my horror, that they weren't going to reenact a single scene from that cartoon that transformed my entire perspective of animalfolk. My auntie kept trying to explain to me that Bambi wasn't a musical, that all the other Disney cartoons were just as good, that Simba is really a shorter, chubbier species of deer—no can do. That night, I went home, set fire to my costume, and vowed never to let any performer cheat me the way those Disney scoundrels did.

So, midway through Múm's gig last Thursday evening, my silent enjoyment of their quaint set was interrupted with a sudden, uncontrollable surge of vengeance. As the Icelandic bunch chirped and chortled, buoyed by some fully sick drumming, I felt possessed. At that point, an inner 10-year-old squeaked: Where were the goodies from Finally We Are No One??? Where is 'Green Grass of Tunnel'? 'Now There's That Fear Again', hello? 'We Have A Map Of The Piano', at least? Where, where, where!!!!

As the lights came on, I found my hand reaching for the Beretta that I never knew I had in my socks, and my feet dragged me towards the autograph line. At this stage, all 180 of those shrink sessions were proving futile, as the once-suppressed Bambiphile took over, fully prepared to unload pre-pubescent fury upon those who had endeavoured to rob him blind. Never again, the inner brat chanted. Do it for Bambi. Do it for B...

And then out they came. Hildur Guðnadóttir and Sigurlaug Gisladottir. The Múm gals.

Sigh. Disney rocks.

Set list:

1. Winter (What We Never Were After All)
2. Moon Pulls
3. Hestur (I was Her Horse)
4. Oh, How the Boat Drifts
5. Marmalade Fires
6. Guilty Rocks
7. Blessed Brambles
8. I'm 9 Today
9. A Little Bit, Sometimes
10. Koztryn
11. These Berries Are Eyes
12. Dancing Behind My Eyelids
13. They Made Frogs Smoke 'Til They Exploded

Encore
14. The Ghosts You Draw On My Back
15. Smell Memory

Múm - The Ghosts You Draw On My Back (from Summer Make Good)

Look what I found in the bargain bin

Oasis
Don't Believe the Truth
(Sony)

Price: RM9.90

I was waiting for my trust fund agent. He was late. It was raining. And there was a KFC at the corner of my eye.

I put away my Katana blade and turned up the stereo. 20-minutes later, I was restless, so I walked down and headed into the nearest mall. I walked into the first interesting I see, which was the KFC. Nah, nothing there but fried chicken. Yeah, I know, it's pretty intuitive of me. I try my best. So I headed into the next interesting thing, which was a cute little gift shop with pinky things hanging about. What, don't you know? Pink is the new color of war. I found nothing there as well. So I dropped a grenade in there and blew it up. I was taught once about 'leaving no survivors'. I believe it was a General called Nintendo that taught me. I have based my life on that ethos ever since. I have blown up every eatery I have eaten in as well. It's a discipline. Though I am starting to wonder why the quality of food in Malaysia is deteriorating in general. Must be them aliens.

After the dust settled, I headed into the only music shop in the mall and found this. After buying the CD I blew up the shop as well.

Oasis - Let There Be Love (from Don't Believe the Truth)