Top 8 Albums of 2007: Genusfrog's Picks

The Charlton Heston Grand Prix

Arcade Fire - Neon Bible

Keep the grandness dial between 8 and 10, put a theocentric angle on proceedings and that's how you win the Charlton Heston Grand Prix. What? Why Charlton Heston? Because he's the man, that's why! Charlton Heston can wipe out a whole tribe with his index finger. He can scale mountains with his legs tied up. He's Moses, man. He keeps the cars running and all that shit.

Arcade Fire - Intervention

The Official Year End Coitus Choice

The Raveonettes - Lust Lust Lust

A boy. A girl. Interweaving. In harmony. One takes the lead. The other follows. Noise. Lots and lots of noise. A thumping beat. A drone. Gorgeous voices. And a twang. If you plan to have uncontrollably wild coitus for 40.5 minutes anytime this year, do yourself a favour. Put this record on.

The Raveonettes - Lust

The 'Lucky's Got Nothing To Do With It (But Being A Hot Blonde Does)' Award

Lucky Soul - The Great Unwanted

The other day, I was at the market buying prosciutto from Pappa Gambotto. And he was telling me that I may have a great writer's job, drive an authentic 1968 Volvo, be able to run 15km before breakfast everyday, and be adored by the local critical press, but all that means nothing if you lack two things: being able to sleep in the arms of a gorgeous woman and being able to go home to a real Italian meal. I told him, "Pappa Gambotto, the prosciutto is for my girlfriend. She's staying over tonight". You're a lucky soul, he said.

Lucky Soul - My Brittle Heart

The Drunken Singer Special Mention

The View - Hats Off To The Buskers

Ok, so maybe Kyle Falconer doesn't sound like he's entirely drunk. But once, I met a philosopher who asked me this question, "is the presence of something necessarily the same as the absence of nothing?". I told him I'd think about it and get back to him. I like to tell this story whenever I run out of relevant things to say.

The View - Wasted Little DJ's

The More is More Award

Polyphonic Spree - Fragile Army

Look, if the soup doesn't taste right, add more salt, add more pepper, and add more chives, lime leaves, mango, pork broth, honey, mushroom stock, lychee, rosemary, cinnamon, garlic and lemon zest. If it still doesn't taste right, run away.

Polyphonic Spree - (Section 22) Running Away

The Old is Gold Award

The Good The Bad & The Queen - The Good The Bad & The Queen

One day, I will grow old, have a big beard, wear reading glasses, have a really gruff voice and still have perky teenage girls waiting outside my door for so much as a sniff of the air I breathe. You know why? Cos I'm Charlton Heston's son.

The Good The Bad & The Queen - 80s Life

The 'Token Social-Commentary Album That Earns Credibility For Critic' Award

Stars - In Our Bedroom After The War

I have a friend who gives out awards for the best wars of the year. He gives out titles like Best Bloody War, Best Intelligence War, Best New Conflict, and the big prize - War of the Year. I asked him what he thought next year's candidate would be. He gave me this look and then said "None. Next year we'll have peace".

Stars - Take Me To The Riot

The 'I Haven't Finished Downloading Their Album But It's Already Bloody Awesome' Prize

The Films - Don't Dance Rattlesnake

How does a band with a barely functioning official website and a nearly impossible band name to google make a dent in the internet-driven music listening market? The answer is pivotal to understanding why they are receiving the aforementioned prize. Yes, they don't make a dent. They just make a big bloody gaping hole about the size of Arkansas.

The Films - Belt Loops

Top 8 Albums of 2007: The Geek's Picks

The 'We Don't Need Looks' Award


Arcade Fire - Neon Bible

To succeed in life, you need to have looks. No, seriously it's true, don't let those stuffy activists fool you. But if you look like a camel's ass on a plate of spaghetti bolognaise, then the least you can do is get yourself a hot chick. No one understands this better than me. Heeyaaarrrr.
Arcade Fire - Windowstill

The Shy Guy of the Year


Boy in Static - Violet

I used to be really shy when I was young. Until I realized that there were tons of girls lining up to get my autograph, even though I had nothing to my name that was worth signing.
Boy in Static - Without Grace

The Customary 'Have to' Entry


Radiohead - In Rainbows

There are some things in life, you just have to do, like eating caviar, or shagging an international super model or indulging in a Godzilla box-set binge. Without them, life would just plain suck. And I know that based on this, many people's life seriously sucks but at this juncture, I would just like to say that mine doesn't. Peace, love and Petra y'all.
Radiohead - Weird Fishes/Arpeggi

The Recovered Emo Kid of the Year


Maritime - Heresy and the Hotel Choir

Why do people make it so complicated sometimes? Me? I prefer to keep it super simple - L.A.D.Y. Yeah that's my secret to life. Love All Der Youthfulgirls. Did I mention I am a bit of a genius when it comes to acronyms?
Maritime - Be Unhappy

The 'We Just Added a Chick to the Band So We Look A Whole Lot Cooler' Award


The Clientele - God Save the Clientele

There's nothing that feels better than having a hot chick draped over your arms. I know it's been more than awhile since I have experienced not having one but if I can recall, it wasn't very nice. So these days I compensate by having three. One on the left, one on the right and one I piggy-back. You know, just to show how strong I really am.
The Clientele - No Dreams Last Night

The Sweetened Chocolate Candy Fudge of the Year


Fields - Everything Last Winter

Have you ever eaten a sweetened chocolate candy fudge? I make a seriously decent one, because after all, I am quite a master chef. The recipe is simple. Just take a bag of sugar and stick it into an oven. Yeah that's it. Yes, yes, with the bag of course. Adds a nice to latex-texture to the fudge. Seriously plastic and sweet.
Fields - You Don't Need This Song (To Fix Your Broken Heart)

The Honorary Smithsonian Dead-weight Champion


The Twilight Sad - Fourteen Autumns and Fifteen Winters

With song titles such as 'That Summer, At Home I Had Become the Invisible Boy' these Glaswegians know their Morrissey. Much like how I know mine as well, which is why I once wrote a song called 'Chicken Breasts Have Gas'. No one's picked it up for distribution yet, but I have high hopes for it, particularly in the poultry industry. Yeah heck I know it's not complimentary to them but it's supposed to be ironic, or something. I don't know, some pot smoker with an afro that's always wasted on my couch told me that one morning. I've always had accurate feelings about people I can trust and I have a good feeling about this one. Peace.
The Twilight Sad - Last Year's Rain Didn't Fall Quite So Hard

The Asian/Caucassion Fusion Dish of the Year


Blonde Redhead - 23

I hate fusion food. You know, those little meat cubes in the middle of a large plate or soup that comes in test-tubes. Hello, did someone leave their stomach in Saturn? Me? I prefer a cow myself. No, no, not a figure of speech. Like a whole cow. Oh, how do I keep my shape then? People have told me I have seriously good genes. Maybe it's because of that.
Blonde Redhead - Dr. Strangeluv

Cold War Kids Free EP download

Cold War Kids have released a free EP, their 2005-recorded Mulberry Street. Apparently they recorded this and two other EPs in exchange for bassboy Matt Maust offering some designing services to the studio boss. Not to shabby a trade, since the EP's got its indie quirk moments, and Maust ain't exactly the art ignoramus.

So anyways, go to Rcrd Lbl to get it. You coulda got it here, I suppose, but since they politely requested for downloaders to not rehost it, I'm adhering. I listen to politeness, you know. I mean, this one time when some guy cut into my lane. But he had a bumper sticker that read "Please excuse me", and then he put up his hand as a universal sign of apology, and flashed me the nicest smile possible. His three-year-old sitting in the front seat even mouthed "Thank you so much!". I thought to myself, awwww, they're real nice, think I'll let them go. So all I did was blast them with my twin-barrel machine gun turrets attached to the roof of my Pajero. But I made sure not to hit the boy's eyes, so he could attend his dad's funeral and mourn properly. I'm gracious like that.

Cold War Kids - Hair Down (from Robbers and Cowards)

More acts announced for Mosaic

It's nice to be Asian these days isn't it?

I mean, above the fact that we possibly have the best food in the world here, we also had/have Bruce Lee and Jackie Chan. Sure, the West have Optimus Prime, Marla Sokoloff and Tarzan, but they can't kick as high as the two sky generals we have. And plus, let's not forget that even a post-humous Bruce Lee could take out Kareem Abdul-Jaabar.

And now, we have the enigmatic Swede Sondre Lerche headed up here with quartet The Faces Down for a bit of dinner and dance jazz loving. Who knows, if we are lucky, he may even throw in a Phantom Punch or two. Then there is UK band Fujiya Miyagi which incidentally, does not consist of anyone Japanese. And yes, I am well aware that these bands are from the West as well but hey, once you're here, you're Asian. Apparently it's some race-altering secret weapon that some Japanese scientist invented recently. It has to be a Japanese scientist because only they were daring and smart enough to research on ways of defeating Godzilla.

And what has the height of a kick have to do with superiority? Well, don't just stand there asking me questions, just try to level a flying kick at your wall-mounted kitchen cabinets. Can't reach? Pain as f**k? Told ya.

Sondre Lerche - Say It All (from Phantom Punch)
Fujiya & Miyagi - Collarbone (from Transparent Things)

B-Side of the Week - Never Never

The Libertines
Never Never (from the Can't Stand Me Now single)
(Rough Trade Records)

There are lots of things that will never happen again.

Good things like beating the discipline teacher with the end of a broomstick until he returned me my comics, now that's something that'll never happen again. Picking up the Nissan Murano that changed lanes without signal and throwing it off the flyover while the sky burst into fireworks and everyone said "Happy New Millenium" is probably something that will never happen again. Here's another fond memory - flying into a bloodlust rage and biting off the heads of invading barbarians at the beach while a hundred fleets turned back and sailed home in terror is likely to be among the things that will never happen again.

Ah such fond memories. I remember that time when I slaughtered a pack of wolves with a fishbone just as they attacked a tribe of Cheyennese women. And that time when I shielded a wounded child from a marauding pack of Pyrenean Ibex, that will probably never happen as well, considering that the Pyrenean Ibex is, alas, now extinct. That would be a sure never never now. I know another sure never never.

A new Libertines b-side. Yep. Never. If you're hunting for things that will never happen again, that's the page you wanna bookmark. Nevermind how hopeful you are. It'll never happen again. Don't expect. Don't hope. Don't even think about thinking about thinking about it. It's history, and old history at that. So it's like, never ever. Like, never never never never never. Geddit?

The Libertines - Never Never

Big Day Out 2008: Final lineup announced

So Big Day Out completes its lineup announcements with a city-specific bunch of local acts. On paper, there should be something for everyone, but evidently some papers are thicker than others. True to form, Sydney has the chubby 260mg sheet, with Dappled Cities, Bridezilla and Belles Will Ring. Melbourne can yippee over Love Of Diagrams, Auckland has Shocking Pinks, Perth seems decently placated with old fogies The Stems, and Gold Coast can at least wiggle a lil' with Dead Letter circus. And Adelaide? Umm... City Riots? Oh oh, the wine is killer up north! And olive groves down south are the bomb! And those cherry orchards out in the hills!

Bah.

AUCKLAND:
Missing Teeth, Shocking Pinks, MU, Dick Magik Johnson, The Exiles, The Electric Confectionaries, Battle Circus, Surf City, False Start, The Kingsland Vinyl Appreciation Society, The Lookie Loos, Kerretta, All Left Out, Pig Out and Solstate

GOLD COAST:
Brothablack, Tucker, Behind Crimson Eyes, Afro Dizzi Act, Lynchmada, Dead Letter Circus, Iron On, Yves Klien Blue, The Kindness of Strangers, Black Market Rhythm Co, Johnny G, Roger That, Mia Carla, Bark At the Moon, Segue, Nick Galea, Pony Loaf, Grass Roots Street Orchestra, Rhythm Colission Sound, The Gin Club plus triple j unearthed winner

SYDNEY:
Brothablack, Tucker, Behind Crimson Eyes, Dappled Cities, Eddy Current Suppression Ring, The Tongue, Hard-Ons, Expatriate, Bridezilla, Mercy Arms, Belles Will Ring, Funktrust, Mark Walton Fretless, Poxymusic, Grafton Primary, John Ferris, Soft Tigers, Stick Figures, Ben Morris, Kobra Kai, Aston Shuffle plus triple j unearthed winner

MELBOURNE:
Brothablack, Tucker, Behind Crimson Eyes, Dappled Cities, Eddy Current Suppression Ring, Pegz, Children Collide, Love of Diagrams, Game Boy Game Girl, Mammal, J-Nett, Muph & Plutonic, T-Rek, Galvatrons, Spacey Space DJ, Mountains In the Sky, Miso, DJ Sunshine plus triple j unearthed winner

ADELAIDE:
Brothablack, Tucker, Behind Crimson Eyes, Vents, King Daddy, City Riots, New Season Black, Soft White Machine, The Johnwoodsband, Delta, MPK, Leader Cheetah, The Swiss, Lady Strabgelove, Master Celebrator, Forner Child Stars, Skeletons plus triple j unearthed winner

PERTH:
The Stems, The Dirty Secrets, Dyscord, Sex Panther, The Harlequin League, Will Stoker and the Embers, Captains of King, The Watts, The Takers, J.Nitrous, DJ Sardi, Petrosex plus triple j unearthed winner

Dappled Cities - Colour Coding (from Granddance)
Bridezilla - St Francine (from Bridezilla EP)
Belles Will Ring - The Coldest Heart (from Mood Patterns)
Love Of Diagrams - Pace Or The Patience (from Mosaic)
Shocking Pinks - End Of The World (from Shocking Pinks)
Dead Letter Circus - Disconnect & Apply (from Dead Letter Circus EP)
City Riots - My Favourite T-Shirt (from City Riots EP)

Carol for the Week: O Holy Night

I reckon that when Adolphe Adam composed this song, he wasn't thinking of Christmas, or Christmas eve. He was thinking of 24th April. Why 24th April? Because that was when my three pet anacondas graduated from their year long internship as altar boys and the Church of The Most Constricting. I celebrated with them by stealing my neighbour's 16 gerbils and sharing it equally. 16 divided by three, you say? Of course not! What, you think I eat steak and potatoes? Gerbil casserole is my specialty.

What a holy night.

South Park - Oh Holy Night (from Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics)
As far as Cartman is concerned, that hallowed evening finds its utmost purity in 'em darned presents. Clever punk, he is.

Umbrellas - O Holy Night (from A Santa Cause, Vol 2)
Straight from the Militia Group stable comes an indie spectacle that sways in Act 1, bellows in Act 2 and skips home through Irish meadows.

The Pikachu Death Ray Explosion - Oh, Holy Night (from Christmasasaurus)
The sheer initial terror of an angelic visitation often goes unnoticed by ye ol' Yuletide romantics; trust this lot to capture it succinctly in 27 fuzzy, frenzied seconds.

Tracy Chapman - O Holy Night (from A Very Special Christmas 3)
Chapman's three-note hummed interlude alone is worth the byte space; the fretless bass solo will even make the stars kneel.

Denetria Champ - O Holy Night (from This Christmas soundtrack)
The token diva-belting rendition of this two-octaved opus gets due representation from Oprah's latest fab femme.

This Week's Track 9 - Mardy Bum by Arctic Monkeys

The kingdom of heaven is like a young man who was bethrothed to marry the daughter of a rich merchant. Now the rich merchant had thirteen daughters. When the young man paid his first visit, he immediately saw a girl who looked like Miss Colombia.

"Is she the one?", the young man asked. But the rich merchant said "No, that's my first girl".

Then the young man saw a blonde in a slinky little clubbing dress. "Is she the one?", he asked, getting excited. "No, that's my second girl".

He then saw a girl in low-cut business shirt and an A-line skirt. "No, son. That's my fifth girl". Then he saw a really cute girl with a cheeky grin and a sparkle in her eyes. "Nope. That's my youngest." Next, he saw an athletic girl wearing a tennis one-piece with her hair tied up in a ponytail. The young man jumped forward but the rich merchant held him back. "That's my sixth".

This was followed by a starry-eyed dreamer (the seventh), an arty bohemian redhead (the eleventh), a dollish little thing (the twelfth), a preppy bookworm (the eigth), an elfen girl with flowers in her hair (the tenth) and a pair of spunky twins (the third and fourth). On every arrival of a daughter, the young man sprang up and asked, "Is this her?", to which the rich merchant said "No, it's not".

Exasperated, the young man sat down and thought to himself, "This is both exciting, because all these girls are so desireable, but it's also frustrating, because I'd really settle for one of those girls just now, in case my girl doesn't turn out so hot".

At that moment, daughter no 9 walked into the room, and immediately, the young man fell over his chair. Birds chirped, sunlight broke through the drapes, which tore open, and a pipe organ hummed downstairs. Her face reminded him of every summer day he'd ever known, and promised every summer day he'd ever have. A bit of every girl that came before, yet infinitely more than the sum of their best attributes, the young man basked in the glow of the girl who emnated afternoon itself.

Yes, such is the kingdom of heaven.

Arctic Monkeys - Mardy Bum (track 9 from Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not)

Incubus Live in Singapore: March 7th, 2008

There are many things you can do with RM90.00.

You can use the money to buy yourself a nice buffet spread at a five star hotel and eat your belt off. Or you can use the money to buy a pirated version of The Practice season three and ogle at Marla Sokoloff (this one is highly recommended due to its mind-busting 'worth it' factor).

I chose to spend RM90.00 on an Incubus concert ticket arm-wrestle a date from a girl. Terrible choice. Grumpiness took over because of the heat, not much conversation was made and the shirt did not come off.

Oh I meant the band, the girl was fine.

Bloody dirty minded bastards.

Tickets go on sale Friday Dece 14 2007 through Sistic.

Details:
Date: 7 March 2008 8pm
Venue: Fort Canning Park

Ticket price (Excludes $2 Booking Fee)
$95* till December 31 2007
$115* from Jan 1 to 31 2008
$125* from Feb 1 to March 7 2008

For more details, go here.

Incubus - Kiss to Send Us Off (from Light Grenades)

New Release: Amberhaze - Amberhaze EP

Whenever anyone comes to visit my house, the first thing I show them is not my $2 million chandelier. Nor is it my $190,000 carpet. Nor is it my bevy of French maids that never fail to serve me my hourly cup of Columbian roast coffee while dusting the specks of dirt off my $840 suit that I wear to do the dishes (yes, my mummy trained me well).

No, whenever anyone comes to visit my house, the first thing I show them is my coffee table. Why? Because it was made in Italy. The chandelier was made in Mongolia, the carpet was smuggled in from Thailand and the French maids keep pronouncing "merci" as "mercy" (I bought them in bulk, can't expect much I suppose). But the coffee table? Straight from the factories of Florence. It's my pride and joy. The one thing I'll save if my house burns down (and maybe a couple of maids, to help me carry the table).

Of course, there was this one time when my 6-year-old nephew spotted a "Made in Kajang" sticker on the leg of the table. Thankfully, before he could blurt anything out, I snapped his scrawny neck and told his parents he fell asleep watching my goldfish. God knows what they thought when he didn't wake up.

Amberhaze is Guiliano Gullotti, an Italian expat planting his laptop rock trade in Singapore. And admit it: when you discovered Album Leaf wasn't from Iceland, and his first name was as apple pie as Jimmy, you wanted to assassinate someone, right? So these things matter, yo.

Track list:

1. Bird's Eye
2. Beautiful Design
3. Welcome
4. Can You Hear Us Now?
5. Faith In Numbers

Look What I Found in the Bargain Bin

Doves
The Last Broadcast
(Capitol)

Price: RM9.90

Have you ever needed to seriously take a dump?

Like not the 'I could hold it out for another 25-minutes' kind, but the 'if I don't go now it's all going to come out' kind. Well I had one of those championship bouts over the weekend when I was walking around a dingy dim-lit mall in the city. That was when I saw this in some space polluted record store, after sniffing out the bargain bin section.

It was either pick this up, because it is such an essential classic, and run like an MF to the little boy's room or play it safe, leave it first, walk casually towards the toilet, buying a pack of tissue along the way and let is all come out like new age music. Me being the pirate that I was, I chose the former.

So I shat in my pants.

Doves - Pounding (from The Last Broadcast)

Who's who at Big Day Out 2008: Midnight Juggernauts

Right now, Melbourne's electropop act Midnight Juggernauts have just about everything under control. Their electropop sound will churn up the sweat cloud at BDO's dance tent. Their post-BDO tour will send nationwide sales of synths up by 4382%. And Vincent will land himself a spot on Neighbours, as Delta Goodrem's amnesiac half-brother.

So there's only one thing left for them to do then: get rid of the "s" at the back of their name. How dare anyone imagine that Juggernauts can exist in the plural form! Do these chaps know anything about Juggernauts? Everyone knows that Juggernauts never come in twos! Sharing is the antithesis of Juggernauts' very existence! Juggernauts always bash bozos alone, never together. Hey, what the heck? My last five sentences had "s" at the end of Juggernauts! Oh no, now my last six sentences about Juggernauts has "s"! OH NO, SEVEN! AAAA...

It's Friday. Gimme a break.

Midnight Juggernauts - Dystopia (from Dystopia)

New Release: i concur - Whatever it's Going To Be

I used to have a friend who studied in Leeds, and he used to complain about the place. Saying how everything closes at about 5pm and the only thing to do in winter is to pour boiling water on the window so it doesn't crack from the cold.

So for the longest time I thought Leeds was like the Shire but with taller people. You know, the whole community gatherings, hairy feet and occasional visits from all-powerful wizards. Basically it's where I want to go when I need to show off my huge medieval sword. Cause no one here in KL seems to appreciate it. Every time I whip it out, I get arrested by the cops. It's quite frustrating.

So believe me, I was rather taken aback when I found out that this delectable shoegaze and very electronic racket I am hearing hails from Leeds, the land of butter and goat's milk. What did you say? I am an idiot because I don't know where Eric Cantona made a name for himself first? Eric Cantona, oh right, that French kung-fu guy right?

Track list:

1. Demons & Slaves
2. Oblige
3. Decimal Places
4. Exits are Blockades

B-Side of the Week - Guess Who Ran Off With The Milkman?

The Pipettes
Guess Who Ran Off With The Milkman? (from the Pull Shapes single)
(Memphis Industries)

Guess who ran off with the milkman? I dunno. The orange juice?

Just last week, the kitschy cats of The Pipettes released their already-hugely loved debut LP stateside. The record cover references b movies like Attack Of The 50 Ft Woman, except that now there are three 50 ft women. Heck, they ain't even just 50 ft either. Which leads me to wonder - exactly what kind of terror does a metropolis expect when three stratospherically giant girls stroll into town in polka dot dresses and formation dancing? People get trampled, houses get kicked about, wind conditions change because of super large swishing skirts, the sky gets darkened, and it gets bloody noisy. Yes, it sounds every bit like eye candy cataclysmia.

But what am I talking about again? Oh yes, the b-side. First appeared June last year on their Pull Shapes 7 inch white vinyl, it showed up again on another EP, Your Kisses Are Wasted On Me this summer. It's got all the girly shalala harmonies and flimsy love narrative and Stand By Me basslines that should keep any fan of the album suitable in the rage.

So, especially for our American readers, here's a b-side to go with the release. As for who ran off with the milkman? It was the brunette Pipette. I know these things.

The Pipettes - Guess Who Ran Away With The Milkman?

Carol for the Week: God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen

(Note: Word for the Week takes a month-long break to make room for this. That's PR speak for I'm bored.)

Seriously, the comma in this song title is so critical. Consider the alternates:

God, Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen - Send 'em tipsy scallywags to eternal damnation, oh Divine One!

God Rest, Ye Merry Gentlemen - Take a fiver, Great Diviner! We'll handle the sunrise for a day!

God Rest Ye, Merry Gentlemen - Dear happy lads, fear not. Mr Ye will never con you of your 30 cents. Ever. Again. Signed, Elohim.

God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen, - Yestiedae een Engrish crass I leern erbaut panchuwaychern,., I yuse corekt, yar, yar?,.

Tempered Mental - God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen (from A musiccanteen Christmas)
A Tempered Mental song with chirpy acoustic strums in 4/4? Melina Williams endures the sunshine for about 1 minute and 45 seconds, then sends forth her signature tidings of prog grog and gloom.

Pedro the Lion - God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen (Christmas 7" single)
The original has seven verses, yet David Bazan subtracts six, adds two and multiplies the doubt with a bottle of Christmas whisky. Awesome.

Orange and Lemons - God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen (from CloseUp - Season of Smiles)
Filipino indie rock bloomers scorn the sorrow, jangle the jingle, and let the egg nogs kick in.

Jars of Clay - God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen (from Drummer Boy EP)
First, the plucks. Then, the violin. Add the cello. And don't forget the flute. Result? CCM's pioneers ache it with the most suicidal of 'em.

Billy Idol - God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen (from Happy Holidays)
Have you seen the album cover for this? No, first, have you seen this and this and this—and now, have you seen this?

Tiramisu's turn for a Late Nite in Esplanade

Watching Singapore art-house disco porn-punk band Tiramisu live is a little like eating mixed rice. It's all about the spread. And what a spread it is, from fried chicken to 'tom yam' seafood to braised cuttlefish, seaweed soup and steamed fish. Then on the other side there's some 'kung pao' chicken, stir-fried pork dices with dried chili, butter prawns and deep-fried eggplant slices. Not to mention there's ...

Oh the band, right. I sometimes forget that this is not my kitchen. Oh you mean I never mentioned I could cook? Yeah in between working out 50-hours a day in the gym, dating super models, starring in hit TV shows and generally saving the universe and the few ones beyond it, I sometimes cook as well. I don't mean to brag, but I will, I am a damn fine cook. How do I know that? Cause only I have been worthy to eat my own food so you have to take my supreme word for it. I am a fine cook. There, I've said it again.

Hah, of course I know there isn't 50-hours in a day. That's an IQ test for everyone. I tested it once in a kindergarten. They all failed.

They sure don't make kids like they used to.

Details:

Date: Fri, 28 Dec, 2007
Venue: Esplanade Recital Studio
Time: 9.30pm
Admission: S$25

Tiramisu - Swinging Arms

This Week's Track 9 - Blitzed by The Raveonettes

Have you ever owned a record that was so sexy, just spinning it once as a naive teenager gave you that intrinsic feeling that you were no longer... flowered? It's the opposite of what an early Madonna record would do for you. I'm talking about an album that awakens you to pleasures no other album has ever awakened you to.

I once had a record like that (or should I say, it once had me). And it's been many years since, and many records as well. Joining that pile of former lovers is this seductive Danish number, of kittenish melodies and coy nocturnal harmonies drenched with the orange sunburst of a surf guitar. A record so deliciously orgasmic, it's had me at my office desk, in the car and everywhere at home. So quick has this affair happened, you could say it's been a blitz.

On a side note, I've recently received a lot of unhappy emails by underloved readers complaining that (to quote one reader) "Pirate Genusfrog is an oversexed braggard who's only angle appears to be the unsavoury public confession of all his exaggerated coital exploits". To this and other similarly offended readers, I am indeed sorry that you don't get much.

Here, let me fix you up with a very quick, very tender stroke.

The Raveonettes - Blitzed (track 9 of Lust Lust Lust)

Mosaic Music Fest 2008 rumoured lineup

I ain't one to swoon. I really ain't. Like the other day, I was waiting at a traffic light when an SSC Ultimate Aero drove right next to me. It was revving its engine and shaking its azure-toned ass, and its driver was a Victoria Secret model who had just done a show but didn't have time to change so she still had her peacock headgear and leopard skin lingerie on. I didn't even look up. In fact, I was so bored, I started counting the number of molecules on my dashboard, and changing the radio frequency to Dangdut FM so that I'd be able to escape this ordinary, un-swoon-worthy world.

So when our ever-trusty grapevine squeezed rumour juice our way that next year's Mosaic Music Fest in Singapore is going to play host to Broken Social Scene, Múm, The Bird And The Bee, Harry Connick Jr, Earth, Wind and Fire and a bunch of other unconfirmed acts—I just yawned. Like, so what if BSS might have Leslie Feist in tow as a carryover from their Laneway Festival shindig? Or so what if Múm are fully capable of teleporting the entire horizon of Iceland right into my cushy consciousness? So what. Soooo what. Come, for all I care. I don't give a ra...

They better approve my leave or I'm taking out the bazooka.

Broken Social Scene - hHallmark (from Bee Hives)
Múm - Marmalade Fires (from Go Go Smear Your Poison Ivy)
The Bird And The Bee - Because (from The Bird And The Bee)
Harry Connick Jr - Danny Boy (from Come By Me)
Earth, Wind & Fire - Love's Dance (from Illumination)

Switchfoot: Live in Singapore in January 2008

Yes our super duper top secret Inspector Gadget has once again clued us into the fact (yes I said fact, so it's serious guys, no more sucking on that Gumby toy) that popular Christian rockers Switchfoot are set to get the angels in Singapore fluttering in January 2008.

I recently heard the term 'positive rock' being used to describe the band's music. I laughed seriously hard when I heard that. And I don't laugh easily. Except the time when I saw Petra talking to some loser at some party and she ended up leaving with him. I laughed so hard cause I figured she probably thought the guy was me. Which is incredibly silly because I was wearing an orange and green getup ( a tribute to Aquaman) while he was in blue and black. Sigh, such a cute and silly girl.

Yes back to 'positive rock'. Why it's silly? Because you shouldn't put a 'positive' and a 'negative' to everything. Cause soon people will say they ate some positive Ipoh soup noodles today and drank some negative goat's milk. Unless you're talking about my large biceps in which case it cannot be anything other than positive. Just look at them, look. Oh you can't see? Too bad then. Maybe you're negative. Ha ha ha. There I go laughing again.

Must be lightening up.

Switchfoot - Faust, Midas, and Myself (from Oh! Gravity)

Fad of the Land: Midomi

Everything about Midomi squeals Jap. Seriously. The name, the colours, the technology—heck, the other day I saw a couple of cosplaying Sailor Moons playing Sudoku right near the "privacy notice" icon. They solved the puzzle in 29 seconds flat! Or was it 29 minutes. Hmm. Time sorta blurs when you're staring at blue haired chicks with miniskirts.

But alas, the rising sun eats none of this cake. Rather, a bunch of Standford grads are responsible for inventing a site that helps us solve one of the universe's most vexing questions: What's the name of that damn song?!?!?!?? Yes, fluster no more. As long as your computer has a mic plugged into it, you simply sing or hum that song into the mic, and Midomi will help you identify the name and artiste who sings it.

So anyways, I tested it out. The site didn't respond to my signature Greg Dulli yowl while I searched for Afghan Whigs 'Faded', or my flawless emulation of Jonsi Birgisson's "Ye-shoo-oo-oooooo" amidst a hunt for 'Ágætis Byrjun'. I'm so sure my voice isn't the problem, but apparently after I did that there were reports on Al-Jazeera's 11pm news that cats within the 19 blocks surrounding my house began transforming into lemmings and leaping from the balconies. Heck, there was this one cat who even tried to climb KL Tower so he could impale himself on the spire. He only reached 400 metres above the ground, before tumbling down onto a pile of rocks and busting his skull. The footage was awesome.

Link: www.midomi.com

BB King and Zucchero - Hey Man (Sing a Song) (from Zucchero & Co.) [BUY]

Who's Who at Big Day Out 2008: Kate Nash

When I first caught a glimpse of her video for her breakthrough single 'Mouthwash', I thought Nash was Jenny Lewis, the irrepressible indie sex siren. But alas the tea-friendly British accent gave her away.

But then again these days, I have supposedly been mistaking things. Like recently I tried to pan-fry my dog until my dad stopped me. And I already had the bloody buns and lettuces ready. What a shame. Or how I tried to kiss this girl in some mall the other day, thinking she was Petra only to find out she was not so I got slapped. Just in case you didn't know, if it was Petra, I wouldn't have gotten slapped. Or how that day I thought I saw Conan, Genghis, Vic Mackey, the Incredible Hulk and Destro on my front lawn, having a beer and I got pissed off. So I went out there and proceeded to beat the crap out of each them until they were all begging for mercy and crying like little ninnies only to find out that they were in actual fact Conan, Genghis, Vic Mackey, the Incredible Hulk and Destro.

Did I mention I was badass?

Kate Nash - Foundations (from Made of Bricks)

Who's Who at Big Day Out 2008: Dizzee Rascal

I am convinced that British rappers have zero ability when it comes to picking a name. I mean, they've got the bump and grime down pat, and the consonant-dropping flow that will always garner critical drool on all ends of the Atlantic, Pacific, Arctic, Indian, Caspian and Mordorific. But c'mon: The Streets? Plan B?? Sway???

So, in the name of altruism, I have decided to assist Dylan Mills by redeeming his alter ego Dizzee Rascal, thus provide him with a far zippier moniker to match those Mercury-nomming rhymes and dimes that he can't help dropping. The goal: to present the ultimate bitch of a name to him, right before he takes the stage at Big Day Out. The side goal: to be invited to his after-party, where the hunnies and the... heck, what happens there is none of your business.

Anyways, to aid me in my World Vision-like endeavour, I have enlisted the help of Rap Star Name, Hiphop-Rapture and My Rap Name—flawlessly crafted rap name generators destined to produce a result that will send the bling to the ceiling. The ho to the down low. The jammers to the slammers.

The results, pronto!

Rap Star Name:


Hiphop-Rapture:


My Rap Name:


Shit. 'K fine, forget it. Dizzee, you got two months.

Dizzee Rascal - U Can't Tell Me Nuffin' (from Maths + English)

B-Side of the Week - Green Grass of Tunnel

British Sea Power
Green Grass of Tunnel (from the It Ended on an Oily Stage single)
(Rough Trade Records)

British Sea Power cover Múm. That's all I have for you. The song is called Green Grass of Tunnel.

Oh, not good enough for a supposedly savvy indie music blog?

Ok, both bands are quartets, one is from Brighton and the other from Iceland. And Múm is pronounced Moom.

Still not enough? Figured. You fascist.

The song's about a guy with a hole in his ceiling. Water drips on him and he swims through a tunnel. There's a lot of water imagery and to be perfectly honest, I wanna get this post done quick cos every time I listen closely to the lyrics, it makes me wanna hit the john. And there's nothing worse than a tune that makes you wanna urinate all over your office cubicle.

Like that time when I was three and my mum would whistle whenever she brought me to the little boy's. Now I can't hear a whistle without pissing the entire amazon basin. Damn that positive reinforcement crap.

Of course, I've found a way to use this unique conditioning. I work for the army. Yes. I work for the army to destroy the dangerous minority of savage whistling militia. What? You think that's lame? What? You think they don't exist? Oh, you think it's a stupid way to wage war? Tell me who wages war better then. Tell me. Huh? Who? British Sea Power?

Bah.

British Sea Power - Green Grass of Tunnel

Baybeats 2008: Pick your headliners

Baybeats, Southeast Asia's indie rock Mecca and the one-stop shop for Singapore's undiscovered, has gone all Web 2.0 for 2008. No, they're not exactly giving us the chance to upload our own bedroom anthems to be blasted from the spikes of Esplanade. Heck, if they did that, I'd be sharing with the entire Raffles Street my killer 14 minute cover of Akon's 'Lonely', where I remix it with Mogwai's 'Glasgow Mega Snake' to get a bonecrusher of a song. I named it 'Alfalfa'.

Anyways, what they've done is presented a list of 24 bands their looking to bring in, and asked Facebook members to vote for the 10 they most want to see. And it's a promising list, to say the least. Unlike yonks before, the lineup presented before us is a significantly more eclectic (no doubt a byproduct of Singapore's emo stalwarts Wake Me Up Music choosing not to curate this year's effort). Sure, there are the token emunks (hello, Jebediah) and moshpit muggles (that's you, Mae). But there's also the option to go the IDM route via Telefon Tel Aviv, the synth pop path beside Joy Electric, or the Canto-twee lane with Hong Kong's My Little Airport. It's not exactly Wonderland, but it's also not a road of thorns and thistles. I'm sure even Alice can find something to bring to the queen.

List:
1. The Ambassadors (Philippines) [ link ]
2. Tabasco (Thailand) [ link ]
3. My Little Airport (Hong Kong) [ link ]
4. Lemon Soup (Thailand) [ link ]
5. Telefon Tel Aviv (US) [ link ]
6. Imago (Philippines) [ link ]
7. Jebediah (Australia) [ link ]
8. OK Karaoke (Indonesia) [ link ]
9. Rosemary (Indonesia) [ link ]
10. Elemental Gaze (Indonesia) [ link ]
11. Intercooler (Australia) [ link ]
12. Mary Trembles (Australia) [ link ]
13. Joy Electric (US) [ link ]
14. 15th Scenery (Thailand) [ link ]
15. Telephone Booth (Taiwan) [ link ]
16. The Shine & Shine & Shine & Shine (Taiwan) [ link ]
17. Primary Shapes (Hong Kong) [ link ]
18. Mae (US) [ link ]
19. Re-TROS (China) [ link ]
20.The Groceries (Thailand) [ link ]
21. The Pale Pacific (US) [ link ]
22. Pocketbooks (UK) [ link ]
23. The Hollows (UK) [ link ]
24. Regurgitator (Australia) [ link ]

Telefon Tel Aviv - My Week Beats Your Year (from Map of What Is Effortless)
Joy Electric - Buttercup Fairy Jamboree (from Melody)
My Little Airport - I Love Ella Koon, But I Love Your Buck Teeth More (from We Can't Stop Smoking In The Vicious and Blue Summer)
The Ambassadors - Senseless Song (single)
OK Karaoke - Milky Way (from untitled demo)

Word for the Week: List

Because...

List season draws nigh. Paste couldn't wait for December, while Stylus closed their doors for good with an early one of their own. Where to scan 'em all? My two picks are Largehearted Boy, who has begun compiling the directory of every site that lists anything music-related, and Fimoculous, who extends the concept towards chronicling everything rankable, including the Best UFO Photographs. My shot of Britney's car almost made it to that one.

The Killers - My List (from Sam's Town)
A slow-burning spawn from the loins of Chris Martin. Good thing Brandon Flowers didn't title it 'Persimmon', or something equally fruity.

Metric - The List (from Old World Underground, Where Are You Now?)
A gushing Emily Haines makes fuzzy nods to Broken Social Scene, KC Accidental, Stars and the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. Who ever said indie rockers are tortured, reclusive hermits?

my Orchard - A List Of Things (from Silhouettes)
Norway-originating, Sweden-based power poppers hide their mental tumult behind that Scandinavian vixen of a whistling synth.

Starflyer 59 - A Lists Go On (from Talking Voice vs. Singing Voice)
Aged, yet eternally tenacious; Starflyer continues to swim the doubtstroke in a placid pool blessed by New Order, plus an eyedrop of "abracadabra".

Hall & Oates - Kiss On My List (from Voices)
Had—had—to add.

New Release: I am David Sparkle - This is the New

When I was young, perhaps around five, my dad decided one day that we should take a drive. I asked him where we were driving to but he just grunted. My dad grunts at everything. I once caught him grunting at the tape deck because it was playing 'Hard Day's Night' a nanosecond slower. Yeah my dad knows these things. He may not know that poultry means chicken or that the Internet is not inside the computer but hey, he knows when John's singing a fret lower.

So I got to the car. It was a nice black and white Toyota. The kind that looks like a shoe box with wheels. I tried to open the door but it was stuck. Turns out someone stitched the door together so I had to sit down there for about three minutes untying the stitch.

Five minutes later we were on the road. I was naturally excited. I have no idea why but I was. Then again I used to get excited when it was bath time or when I put coins in my piggy bank. Did I ever tell you guys about my super ultra brain-busting philosophy about kids? Oh, I haven't? They're dumb. Yeah that's it. They're dumb. I like my philosophies to the point.

An hour later and we were still on the same road. And there wasn't much to see. No sparklingly tall buildings or weirdly formed clouds. Just a dark grey sky, us driving under it and nothing for miles, and miles, and miles and miles. Occasionally there were minor bumps, a roadkill or two here and there to break the monotony but it was still predominantly the same long road.

And after about 10-hours, we came back to dinner.

Yeah that's it. True story. Still brings me to tears these days.

Track list:

1) The Way of the Universe
2) Do You Cry While You Sleep
3) Jaded Afghan
4) There is No Time for Love, Only Chaos
5) If I Never Come Back
6) Dance of Death

Look What I Found in the Bargain Bin

This Perfect Day
Don't Smile
(different)

Price: S$5.00

Yes, it's another Swedish power pop band. They sell them at 7-Elevens over there, next to the Coke bottles and under the instant meatball section. This one come packed complete with thick harmonies, soaring choruses and two redeemable coupons.

Ah, but you are wondering, redeemable coupon for what right? Is it for a t-shirt? A CD? Brands chicken essence? Ginseng beer? No my wayward underlings, it's redeemable for a dinner date with me. And you are honored to be the first to redeem because I have been sitting here for 10-years and for some reason, hardly anyone has had the guts to step in line. Either that, or they were guys or not-hot-enough girls, in which case I sent them to the other line where Fabio is sitting at. So if you're from either demographic, go off to the other line while I wait for my cute and lovely 'Petty' Nemcova.

It's been 10-years now but my love is strong, and patient.

This Perfect Day - Blinded by the Light (from Don't Smile)

This Week's Track 9 - Tell It Like It Is by Graham Coxon

Fragile chap. Yes, I've always liked the idea of a fragile rock chap, wearing at least a veil of noise to hide the brittle voice and vulnerable lyrics. That's pretty much what you get with possibly-no-longer-former Blur guitarist Graham Coxon. In this track 9, he extols the superlatives of a girl whom lazy internet gossip sites call a "model agent". One site goes as far as to assume she's a "gorgeous doll of a girl" but the last time I checked, model agents are agents and not models because they aren't gorgeous dolls.

But who am I to say? There's every reason why a good looking girl can still be a model agent. After all, I'm the one who once had a whirlwind romance with a stunning North Korean girl who was an agent of everything. Sure, it only lasted two weeks, but in that time, I found out that she was a travel agent, an insurance agent, a press agent, a sports agent, a special agent, a real estate agent, and agent Orange all at the same time. Yes, that's right. I made tireless love, seven times a day for fourteen straight days, to a girl who was a biochemical weapon and I survived. She, however, didn't. Which not only explains why the whole thing lasted only two weeks but also why I never found out if she was ever a model agent.

Graham Coxon - Tell It Like It Is (track 9 from Love Travels At Illegal Speeds)

Look What I Found in the Bargain Bin

Golden Smog
Down by the Old Mainstream
(Rykodisc)

Price: S$2.95

Just in case you haven't put two and two together between the fact that this is one hell o' a bloody honkingly excellent Americana rock record featuring members of Soul Asylum, Wilco and The Jayhawks and its meager price, this bargain-find made me feel like the ozone layer repaired itself, that Panda's have become pests because they mate so much, that Singapore 'fried kuey teow' have stopped becoming sweet and sticky and that Petra Nemcova just proposed to me about how she wants to have five kids with me. You know, all that saving-the-world stuff.

And how does Petra Nemcova having kids with me going to change the world? It's simple, I'll go to the bedroom and I'll come back and show you. Give me 30 minutes.

(After 30-minutes) Ah, doesn't the world look like a better place already?

Golden Smog - Glad & Sorry (Small Faces cover) (from Down by the Old Mainstream)

Rarity on the rarity - Lord, Don't Slow Me Down

Oasis
Lord, Don't Slow Me Down
(Big Brother)

Rare factor: Online-only single.

Johnson begot Waters, Waters begot Berry, Berry begot Lennon, and Lennon begot Gallagher.

Now Gallagher was forty years when his disciples built an altar for his greatness. Beginning in his youth with Lightning Speed and Immortality, he proceedeth to craft the Great Brick Division and did so reach the peak of his strength with the enviable Eternally Reconciled Forward Glance.

His disciples asketh him, "O Master, what didst happen then?". And their master replied, "Assuredly, I sayeth to thee. I was there then".

Now the invading hordes were upon his kingdom, and the mighty army of Yorke hath conquered much new pasture. And Gallagher thought, "I may be hard of youth now, but surely the Lord hath much promise in this new land. And I shall seeketh it with an online-only single."

And so Gallagher lifted his voice to the Lord, the God of his fathers, and saith "Lord, don't slow me down".

Oasis - Lord, Don't Slow Me Down

Fad of the Land: SellaBand

SellaBand has been around for the past year and a half. It's essential function is to get fans to help bands record albums. Fans buy shares in a band, and are christened "Believers". Once the band raises $50,000 worth of sold shares (equivalent to roping in 5,000 Believers investing $10 each into the band), SellaBand sets up a recording session, and the end product is sold to new fans, while both the band and its Believers share the resultant income.

Very neat. Anyways, it recently got neater, as the Believers for American popper-songwriter Cubworld, Dutch gothheads Nemesea, Kiwi rappers Maitreya and Brit trip-hoppers Second Person recently got their cut of the promised revenue (over $20,000 in total). Deducting 33 percent from that for SellaBand's own portion, then dividing the remainder between the four bands and their army of Believers means that the final individual slice of the pie does sound a tad skimpy. But who's to say you can't do much with $1? I can immediately think of about 49 things you can do, each one involving prostitution, a triceratops and shaving cream. Mail me for details. It's so worth it, seriously.

Link: www.sellaband.com

Cubworld - For Love (from Step Lightly Create Out Loud)
Nemesea - No More (from In Control)
Second Person - Water (from Elements)
Maitreya - Harlem Streets (single)

Who's Who at Big Day Out 2008: LCD Soundsystem

Oh isn't this exciting.

Is this the new thing? To name yourself after a combination of electrical equipment classifications? Gives you that cold urban slickness that just goes oh so well with being on the forefront of the electro clash/dance punk movement? In any case, it beats naming yourself James Murphy. It's slick like those huge ancient Nokia phones that used to be able to double up as machetes. I would sit down and talk about the time I killed 500 people, Megatron, Cobra Commander and that short dude from Goodfellas with just one of them Nokia phones but I have no time. Have to rush off to save Mars, they just placed a Help Desk call. Yeah, I do galaxy calls these days. Earth can be so boring sometimes.

Anyways, back to the name. If so, I choose Dishwasher Microwave Hair-Straightener. Oh, that's been taken? Bloody cool bastard there. Okay, then I go for Oven Vacuum Cleaner Water Dispenser. Cool huh? Cool huh? Huh huh huh.

LCD Soundsystem - Daft Punk is Playing at My House (from LCD Soundsystem)

In the papers today...

We got three. All are pretty good.

Sydney's kids are facing a crisis of childhood come Christmas time, as dress-up Santas citywide have been told not to use "ho ho ho" as their greetings, out of respect for women. The acceptable term of cheer? "Ha ha ha". That's not too bad, I guess. Hopefully someone doesn't say "hai hai hai" to a Hakka-speaking passerby.

This story reminds me of: Sufjan Stevens - Get Behind Me, Santa! (from Songs For Christmas)

Ebbsfleet United football club are the latest real world beneficiaries of Web 2.0. Thanks to an initiative called MyFootballClub that invites people to purchase a share in a lower league club in exchange for participation in its management, the team will now be partially controlled by the website's 50,000 members, who will vote each week on team selection, transfers and all the niggling corners of football club management. No word on whether they get a say on hiring cheerleaders.

This story reminds me of: Bob Dylan - When The Deal Goes Down (from Modern Times)

England lost, and are out of the 2008 European Championship. Two-thirds of the pirates are heartbroken. The other third—the wiser third—is merciful.

This story reminds me of: R.E.M. - The Lion Sleeps Tonight (from The Sidewinder Sleeps Tonite single)

B-Side of the Week - Pennies

Smashing Pumpkins
Pennies (from the Zero single)
(Virgin)

Gosh, these are sad days. They don't make them like they used to, that's how it always works, isn't it. Great men are brought down from their splendour. High art is defiled by populism. And while money inflates, what you get for them just gets shittier.

Take Smashing Pumpkins for example. Man, there was a time when they dreamt up some of rock music's most symphonic epics, blistering cries and wounded numbers. Now, well... they sure don't write them like they used to.

What they value for thirty dollars today used to be worth a penny. Like, literally. If you square off how much you spend on a cd single, credit the a-side with the lion's cut, you'll find that that's what b-sides cost. Pennies. Well, you sure used to get a lot more for what you spend.

Here's a slice from one of 1996's tastier pumpkin pies.

Smashing Pumpkins - Pennies

Word for the Week: Protest

Because...

Everyone's doing it: Burmese monks, Belgian bi-linguists, Pakistani journalists, Malaysian yellowshirts, American anti-torture chaps. Next up: my global campaign against swimming trunks. Meet me at Trafalgar Square tomorrow, 3pm. Come in a scuba suit.

Skinny Puppy - Pro-test (from The Greater Wrong of the Right)
Industrial legends spit upon our velvet cushions with piss-flavoured saliva, and a promise to return every night with 10 like-minded recruits until we sign that darned petition.

Evaline - A Protest in Lines Too Thin to Read (from Postpartum Modesty. A Portrait Of Skin EP)
For the first 41 seconds, you'll think these Cali-based rockers were picketing over the preservation of baby seals. After the next 424, you're ready to bomb Guantanamo.

Aloha - Protest Song (from Sugar)
Indie rock's vibraphone purveyors trade the jazzy twinkles for a 7/4 surge that heads for the cosmos, and never returns.

Protest The Hero - Blindfolds Aside (from Kezia)
The Darkness might have revitalised the era of glam and yelp, but look who's disbanded now? Meanwhile, album two from these Ontarians comes up next year. The curse of the shirtless rocker lives on.

Alanis Morissette - Doth I Protest Too Much (from So-Called Chaos)
Let's face it: it was a little premature to crown this lass the 1990s' queen of angst. Marriage does strange things to anyone, like make Alanis miss being missed. Soooo sweeeeeeeee...

(image from www.slapupsidethehead.com)

Who's Who at Big Day Out 2008: Battles

Q: What do you get when you put the ex-drummer of legendary NY post-hardcore band Helmet, together with ex-Lynx guitarist Dave Konopka and ex-Don Caballero guitarist Ian Williams and this other dude whose father just so happens to be legendary avant-garde jazz musician Anthony Braxton?

A: A legendary Lynx named Don who just so happens to like wearing a helmet. Funny huh? Funny huh? Huh huh.

And yes, in case I still need to say it - that's way cooler than being a butt-kicking progressive instrumental avant-rock band

Battles - Atlas (from Mirrored)