When you hear a rumour about two of your hip-hop icons making their way to these parts next year, you can't help but get all warm and fuzzy and think back to those childhood moments, when you first discovered them, when life was simpler...ahhh...oooo...ommmm...
Uhhh, what was that? Where am I?
Oh well, look at this. It's a meadow. And look, there's Uncle Boogoo! He's the one who said to me back when I was a little urchin, "Boy, there is nothing quite like living 3 years, 5 months and 2 days in the life of...". And then he walked off, got himself a beer, and transformed into a pork chop.
Since then, I have never stopped in my quest to discover the conclusion of that statement. I have fought with lions, grappled with tigers and slept with bears in search of the answer to that hanging sentence. I have eaten in Italy, prayed in India and loved in Bali, and have even mastered the art of doing yoga while looking sexier than Julia Roberts.
So anyways, here I am! And I finally get a chance to ask my uncle what he really meant! Here I go...
Me: Hi Uncle Boogoo.
Uncle Boogoo: Hi, Macho Man!
Me: I've always had this question that I wanted to ask you for the longest time. It's been bugging me forever. And so since you are here, I thought I wanted to ask you now.
Uncle Boogoo: Well, ask away boy!
Me: Well Uncle Boogoo, the question is, you know when you said there is nothing quite like living 3 years, 5 months and 2 days in the life of", you just stopped. You never finished your sentence.
Uncle Boogoo: Oh I didn't?
Me: No you didn't. So I was wondering, what was the end of that sentence? By the way, you look like an awesome pork chop.
Uncle Boogoo: Thanks boy. Well, I wanted to say that there is nothing quite like living 3 years, 5 months and 2 days in the life of... hey, are you chewing on my ankle?
Me: Oh umm... mgdfffdfrfd...
Uncle Boogoo: What? My ankle tastes of pork?
Uncle Boogoo: Why yes, I did season it with parsley, oregano and weed.
Uncle Boogoo: Oh sure, you can start on my knees next. So did you still want to know the answer to your question?
Uncle Boogoo: Ok. Make sure you try my thighs, they totally rock.
New Found Glory - Tennessee (Arrested Development cover) (from Punk Goes Crunk)