Because...Pantsy is on a ten-day all-expense-paid company trip slash Locals-N-Tourist-Snogging excursion to the Dominican Republic. What will he do there for ten days? Day 1: Boring company sessions. Day 2: Snog Japanese uncle. Day 3: Boring company sessions. Day 4: Snog topless Kiwi auntie. Day 5: Snog Caribbean auntie. Day 6: Snog Caribbean grandmother. Day 7: Eat ferrets. Day 8: Feed the monkeys. Day 9: Start a coup. Day 10: Snog a Caribbean three-headed she-trout with fat lips.
Eisley - Ten Cent Blues (from The Baby Sessions)
This chirpy schoolgirl home recording reminds you that blues is for losers and yodelling is sexy. Because my El-Salvadoran sifu always said that there's nothing in this world quite like a compromised Alpine girl.
Postmarks - Slaughter On Tenth Avenue (from By The Numbers)
For all of two point five minutes, Postmarks forget who they are, pick up sombreros, drink lots of tequila, grow moustaches, ride horses, eat cactus, trade in contraband and meet Pantsy somewhere in Mexico snogging a Mexican man who looks like Eric Estrada.
Missy Higgins - Ten Days (from The Sound of White)
Aussie piano femoballadry that would make Pantsy break into a sneer. Unbeknownst to him, there's a big mamma in Honduras spinning this record this very moment. In less than ten days, Pantsy will have snogged her.
The Stone Roses - Ten Storey Love Song (from Second Coming)
Nothing like a collossal monument of exaggerated sentiment for our laziest pirate to wake up to and realise that the dream is over and he has to return to our pirate ship, where the chicks are hot and boring.
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