The newly elected British government has cancelled plans to build a third runway at London Heathrow airport. The move has been hailed by residents who live near the area, as they feared that it would greatly increase the noise and pollution emitted from the planes. When John Terry heard of the cancellation, he voiced his dissapointment, saying, "A third runway would have made it so much easier for me to smuggle my mistres--I mean, mystery novels into the Chelsea dressing room. Yeah, Agatha Christie is our fave. Mmmm, Agatha..."
This story reminds me of: Tame Impala - Runway, Houses, City, Clouds (from Innerspeaker)
BP have resorted to using golf balls to plug the Gulf of Mexico oil leak. The leak, which was caused by an oil rig sinking on 22 April, has released more than 5 million gallons of oil into the sea at a rate of 200,000 gallons per day. The oil company said that the golf balls were part of a technique known as the "junk shot", whereby holes of all shapes and sizes are plugged by various objects. Actually, insiders say the company wanted to use golfer balls, which, as we all know, are pretty good at plugging holes of all shapes and sizes.
This story reminds me of: Tiger! Shit! Tiger! Tiger! - Whispers (from Whispers EP)
Marco Calasan has become the world's youngest Microsoft systems engineer. The 9-year-old boy from Macedonia holds four Microsoft certificates, has written a 312-page book on Windows 7, and is currently learning his fourth language. Apparently his first motto in life is "with knowledge, everything is possible." His second motto in life is "Suck this, all you dense poser-faced Mac users!"
This story reminds me of: The Amplifetes - Whizz Kid (from Whizz Kid single)