It's all the rage, ain't it. Coming up with names for cities, volcanoes and animals that no one can pronounce.
Which is why you need me. You see, I ain't no trend follower. I don't bother naming things after words that I can't pronounce. So to help you reach a similar state of zen, I thought it only appropriate to help you work your way around those songs that sound bodacious, but which you will never be able to tell your friend to check out. So you ready? Good, let me just pull up my chair, open up my... oh, you like my chair? Charming, ain't it? Yeah. I call her Iwesknfzswrh. Just rolls off the tongue like sugar.
Ólafur Arnalds - Þú ert sólin (from ...and they have escaped the weight of darkness)
Actual pronounciation: You are solid.
Background: Olafur is Icelandic for Schwarzenegger. Arnalds is, well, y'know. And so when you consider the evidence, this is too way obvious. Good thing we start with the peasy ones, aye.
Motorboater - Je Mange Titties (from PU YR Heart)
Actual pronounciation: Your mangy turnips.
Background: What do you mean I'm such a prude? I'm no prude! I can totally say the T word! Turnip! Turnip! Turnip! There you go. What do mean that's not how you pronounce it? Oh, let me show you again. Teatime. See? Tootsie. Bam! Tittieeeeeeeeewangsa. Hah.
Fort Fairfield - Vättern (from The Essential Thing Resists Telling)
Actual pronounciation: Butter
Background: Ahh, you who are so ignorant. The two dots above the "a" are the secret. Those two dots represent two freshly toasted crumpets that are aching for some good ol' fashioned spread. Yes, post-rockers have some closet English breakfast yearnings, mate. Mogwai likes muffins.
The Deer Tracks - isbjornskatten (from Eggegrund EP)
Actual pronounciation: It's Bjorn's kitten?
Background: When you think about it, there are just three important questions that every person must answer. The meaning of life and the belief in God stuff are pretty tough cookies, but man, The Deer Tracks have nailed the cookiest of all 'em toughies. Because the Bjorn I know is nine feet tall, and sleeps with his pet T-rex. That was, until TMZ uncovered a video of him showering with a feline-looking creature and humming 'Endless Love'. Now I'm confused. What is the meaning to life?
Slutet - Psykbryt (from Slutet)
Actual pronounciation: Pissed Brit
Background: In 1563, a pigeon flew by the quaint English town of Arundel. As it settled on a tree, it decided to relieve itself. Meanwhile, a man was munching on acorns below that tree. Just as he opened his mouth to chomp on his last biscuit, he felt a splatter on his head. He looked up, saw the pigeon, and said, "That was my last biscuit!" Thus, this word was born.
los contras - palmhjartat
Actual pronounciation: Baby, you fat.
Background: Bob liked Sue. Sue liked Ricardo. Ricardo liked Bob. So one night, Harry said to his bolster, "Baby, you fat." The end.