The Unhappy Sufjan Stevens Fans Campaign: #1 Horacio

Horacio

Polk, Nebraska

Hi. My name is Horacio. If you think I look ordinary, it's because you've failed to realise that I have feet growing where my hands should be. So you think this sounds fun? Well, it isn't. It's hard to caress women when you're anatomically confused, and nobody cheers when I do handstands. And really, all I want in this world is to caress women. Like, lots of women. You know, like, you get what I mean. Lots and lots of them. And I also want Sufjan Stevens to release an album about the state that I call home. Stop making me wait you jerk. The doctors say that I can only caress women normally once Sufjan Stevens releases an album called Nebraska. I'm not young anymore, Mr Stevens. So please. The next time you pick up your damn guitar, think of me and how much I long to have a woman in my legs. 

Sufjan Stevens - Come Thou Fount Of Every Blessing (live from the Knitting Factory)