The Sick Sick Six: The Progression of Sickness

Being sick doesn't just happen overnight. Take it from us Pirates, because these days, that's all we ever seem to be. Fever, nausea, headache, giddiness, etc. So, in the midst of being consistently sick, we've gained a smidgen of experience about the whole dysfunctional body business. And what we learn, we always like to share. Unless we learn how to clone Zhang Ziyi. Which we're pretty close to doing, I'll have you know. Just gotta touch up the wushu DNA strand a smidgen, then she'll make a great dishwasher.

Bishop Allen - Little Black Ache (from Charm School) [BUY]
It always starts with a little black ache, right? And no, they're never pink or lilac; always black. Bacteria bathe in liquorice juice.

Azure Ray - Fever (from Azure Ray) [BUY]
Aches soon turn into fevers, and that's when Panadol is supposed to come in handy. Take two, heat up the oven, chop the chives and... what do you mean, you can just swallow them with water? You never had Panadol Souffle? Weirdo.

Wolf Eyes - Black Vomit (from Burned Mind) [BUY]
Soon, the bug moves from the head to the tonsils, and once more, them black suckers make an appearance. No need to panic just yet; puke is said to be rich in vitamin E.

Bjork - Pneumonia (from Volta) [BUY]
At this stage, you're probably thinking, hospitalisation right? And you'd be thinking right. Because nothing screams frosty smells and daggy robes like a wailing Icelander.

Mercury Rev - Sweet Oddysee of a Cancer Cell T' Th' Center of Yer Heart (from Yerself Is Steam) [BUY]
So you're checked into St Mary's, and doc tells you that the little black ache is actually a cancer-churning dunce of a bug. You know what's coming next, don't you? Yup, nurses in miniskirts scrubbing your hairy bum. Always happens. Life rocks.

Liars - The Other Side of Mt Heart Attack (from Drum's Not Dead) [BUY]
So things can only head one of two ways: you get better, or your heart decides to screw you over. If the latter is more impending, then please shave your bum. They say it helps the angel wings stick better. If it's the former, go give your mum a kiss, then come feed me cherries.