It's Talk Like A Pirate Day. And since we're the epitome of everything a pirate should be, who better to give proper lessons on how to talk like a pirate than us? So you ready? Pen? Notepad? Eye patch? Girl on the plank? Good. Let's get started. Repeat after me:
My name is [insert name].
I am [insert age] years old.
I have two dogs, three cats and a gerbil.
I like peaches.
Good. Yeah, I know it's tough to talk like a pirate. But heed our advice, keep checking your notes, and go do something useful this weekend. Test on Monday.
Mojo Nixon - Pirate Radio (from Root Hog or Die) [BUY]
Banjos, harmonicas, "scalliwags" and "mateys"; Mojo Nixon had to be inspired by my family's new year's eve do.
Ben Folds - Pirate Joke Song
In under two minutes, Ben elicits uncontrollable laughter, engages his falsetto and even doles out a jazz piano solo. That's so pirate.
mr. Gnome - Pirates (from Deliver This Creature) [BUY]
A quick listen to this wailing cruncher of a song would make any first mate jump ship and swim all the way to Cleveland.
Ben's Bitches - Peter The Pirate (from National Disservice)
Malaysia's token cock rock jocks celebrate piracy at its cheap-ass grimiest. That's before they saw me in my Hugo Boss undies.