Saturday, January 17, 2009

UPDATE: Sunburst: N.E.R.D, Foo Fighters and Erykah Badu added (plus Katy Perry?)

Update: Continuing from Pantsy's arseface rant, we want to just add that Coldplay has apparently signed on the dotted line and it's just 1/3 of N.E.R.D's that coming. There have also been talks of Prodigy as well as 311, who are about as relevant as my four-year old farts these days. Tickets went on sale yesterday for RM140.00 (early bird price). But yeah, you heard me right, no lineup has been announced. So unless you're me (the whole Jedi mind-reading thing), it's going to be a huge risk to buy one now. Lineup will be announced on Feb 6. If you need to know who's playing, call me*

*terms and conditions apply (mainly you have to be a hot chick. if you're not, then err ... ignore this message because it will self destruct in about five seconds, seriously. Go away. Boo)

[Note: The arsefaces at Blogger took down our original post (without prior notification). They cited some copyright dingaling as the reason, but we know the real truth: they're just scared of our overall undisputed awesomeness to fart better than them. Can't blame them. Arsefaces.]

When I was 6 years old, my ship captain, Captain Farty, took time off from skewering British Navy testicles over the bonfire to teach me the importance of making intelligent predictions about life based on the highly complex world of probabilities.

And so, years later, I would just like to take a short moment to share my utmost thanks to the man for equipping me with such priceless tools. Because of him, I learnt that the odds of a meteor landing on your house are 182,138,880,000,000 to 1, and that the chances of dying from heart disease are 1 in 3. And because I learnt such important lessons, today my house has a 90-foot thick, meteor-proof concrete roof, and I eat nothing but bacon fat and whipped cream. Because I'm a good student.

So anyways, having lived my whole successful life by these principles, I owe it to the world to share my priceless secrets, in hope that someone in the world will one day experience the kind of abundant living that I now experience (seriously, concrete roofs are the shizznit). And so as a proof of my prowess, I will now calculate the probability that N.E.R.D., Foo Fighters, Erykah Badu and Katy Perry will be coming for Malaysia's Sunburst Festival. Better yet, I will now calculate the probability that the line-up for Sunburst, based on all the utterly accurate bits of info we've received over the last few months will look like this:

Foo Fighters

Kings of Leon

Snow Patrol
Erykah Badu

Katy Perry

Ok, you ready? Computing devices all on? Ok here we go.

Bzzzzzzzz.... Whrrrrrrr... Doooooot...

The odds of the above line-up coming is 1 in 5,005,564. Exactly the same odds as the odds of dying from contact with hot tap water. You know what that means right? Yup, donate 2 million dollars to the International Prevention from Death By Hot Tap Water Society, and start sending up-yours postcards to Coachella, Glastonbury and V Fest. Congrats, mate. You are halfway to becoming the master of probabilities. Thank you, Captain Farty, for enriching our lives.

Foo Fighters - Erase/Replace (from Echoes, Silence, Patience & Grace)

1 comment:

Fizzy Fizah said...

311 may be irrelevant but I'd still prefer to get an earful of the likes of Nick Hexum and Chad Sexton over Paramore :P

(p/s: The original post still appears in my Google Reader though.. didn't realize the whole Arsefaces-led deletion until you mentioned it)

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