Pirates of the Bargain Bin: Ahoy, 2009

It's 2009. Let's make it fine. Yarrr.

Dent May - Love Song 2009 (from The Good Feeling Music of Dent May & His Magnificent Ukulele) [BUY]

Columns

Look What I Found in the Bargain Bin

Rule number 1 for being a good pirate - you MUST be a cheap ass. Eh, only one rule.

Arty Album Art

We'll have you know that appreciating album artwork demands serious skill and immaculate taste. Good thing we have neither.

B-Side of the Week

If you've ever been the top boy in school, released a 9.0 rating record and get driven to work in a transformer where you have a Swedish secretary called Solveig then, like me, you'll never identify with b-sides.

Fad of the Land

The web is loaded with goodies. And pretty music-related goodies. And damn pretty music-related goodies. And OMG my momma's gonna buy me a mockingbird damn pretty music-related goodies. None of which even measure up to these.

Gig-gles

Have you ever seen a four-piece college band playing 'Like a Virgin' in their Y-fronts, eating a KFC barrel each and doing tribal dances at the same time? Neither have we, but it should be funny.

In the papers today...

So have you heard the news today?

Let's Get Lyrical, Lyrical

Because sometimes the lyrics of a song can say a thousand words more than a picture. Particularly if it is a thousand-word song.

New Release

All Music Guide once said that there are 50,000 albums released every year. They obviously excluded Ryan Adams.

Rarity on the Rarity

It just doesn't happen very often, alright?

The Sick Sick Six

Some things are better enjoyed in sixes, like beer or snowflakes or Petra Nemcovas, which need we point out is better than having just five Petra Nemcovas.

The Unhappy Sufjan Stevens Fans Campaign

We recently felt obligated to talk to all the unhappy Sufjan Stevens fans on the street. We also recently felt obligated to eat a lot of fried chicken and steal ladies underwear.

This Week's Track 9

Track 9 has to be the worst place to be on any album - not good enough to open or close or be in the first side or open the second. Here's to the underdogs of records everywhere. Or so you think.

Word for the Week

The day you find another song that has the word "Foxymophandlemama" in it, please holler.

Friday Fartwork

Most people don't know that Bob Dylan is eating a karipap on the cover of his Bootleg Series. But we do. Because some things are just plain obvious.

Get To Know Your Pirates

Pantsy was once told by his pet gerbil, who was so piss hot she burned a hole in Pantsy's panties once, and then another time she wore this jock strap on the treadmill and... oh wait, she said something.

The Geek - one time Toho janitor and ex-student of Chuck Norris. Rumored to be the 'man-in-the-suit' for Moguera in 1994's Godzilla vs SpaceGodzilla.

Genusfrog is a well-travelled pirate among motorbike garages, invading Scotia freedom fighters, blue Gothenburgians and otherwise hard-to-get Parisian maids.

Pirates of the Bargain Bin

Friday, January 2, 2009

Ahoy, 2009

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