Word for the week: Ball

Because...

The English Premiere League has started. Yeah, I know it's not the only football league (soccer for all you oval pig-skin supporting types) in the world. But it's honestly the only one we're bothered about. One-third of the pirates is religiously going for Liverpool as he has for like forever. The other roots for whoever is on his fantasy football roster. And me? I'm a sport neutral by nature, but I reckon Sunderland are going to do stuff. Nasty stuff.

Anyways, here are some songs, together with the types of football games they might be best suited for. Plus, since I missed Word for the Week last week, here's me being extra generous. I'm cool like that.

White Stripes - Ball and Biscuit (from Elephant)
2 - 3. In the 2nd minute, the goalie bites the striker's balls; it's a non-stop bloodbath thereon in, with the winner coming in injury time as the teams' towelboys pummel each other.

The Observatory - Oddball (from Blank Walls)
1 - 1. In the 32nd minute, three streakers invade the pitch. They are joined by the stadium security, who see it as their coming out party.

Jack Johnson - Mudfootball (from Bushfire Fairytales)
5 - 4. Impromptu beach football match, dominated by a 12-year-old Portuguese prodigy whose monosyllabic name alone will earn him a 12 million pound contract one day.

Treeball - Favourite Enemy (from I Dream Of Eclectic Sheep)
4 - 0. The home side just spent 300 million pounds on new janitors. The visitors work as janitors.

Joe Hisaishi - Boiraa Mushi (Sootballs) (from Spirited Away soundtrack)
0 - 2. Foggy conditions prevent long ball specialists from ruining the game, and the close control balladeers step in for 90 minutes of paradise.

Interpol - Wrecking Ball (from Our Love To Admire)
1 - 1. Chockablock with sublime midfield passing and mazy dribbling. The fans are the winners.

The Dodos - The Ball (from Beware Of The Maniacs)
3 - 0. The home team scores all goals in the first 25 minutes, then lets their hyperactive 17-year-olds give the visitors a muscle-cramping runaround.

R.E.M. - Beachball (from Reveal)
2 - 2. One foul, zero yellow or red cards. Both teams exchange shirts, phone numbers and wives after the game.

The Hold Steady - Take Me Out To The Ballgame (single)
Play ball.