Friday, August 8, 2008

Word for the week: Olympics


Oh gee. I don't know. Let's see. Give me 88 minutes to tackle this nasty beast.

88 minutes later...

Y'know what's nastier than this beast? The beast's momma. And y'know what's nastier than the beast's momma? Turnip juice. That one needs like a whole century.

Go Antigua and Barbuda.

The Hives - Dead Quote Olympics (from Tyrannosaurus Hives) [BUY]
Sounds like: Swimming's 50 metre freestyle. The only thing more ferocious is a rapping monkey. And when you get a 50 metre freestyle-swimming, rapping monkey? Even DMX don't bite so hard.

The Winter Olympics - Dancing at the Speedway
Sounds like: Cycling's team sprint. Overlapping bikers wiggle and shake their rumps on a track you thought only existed in Manga. And with those body squishing suits, you might as well be watching Animax.

Orange Juice - Moscow Olympics (from The Glasgow School) [BUY]
Sounds like: 120kg Greco Roman wrestling. No, not because of the grunts and pseudo-gay undertones, but because anything involving two 120kg men has got to kick butt. Or at least grope.

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