Thursday, November 29, 2007

Who's Who at Big Day Out 2008: Dizzee Rascal

I am convinced that British rappers have zero ability when it comes to picking a name. I mean, they've got the bump and grime down pat, and the consonant-dropping flow that will always garner critical drool on all ends of the Atlantic, Pacific, Arctic, Indian, Caspian and Mordorific. But c'mon: The Streets? Plan B?? Sway???

So, in the name of altruism, I have decided to assist Dylan Mills by redeeming his alter ego Dizzee Rascal, thus provide him with a far zippier moniker to match those Mercury-nomming rhymes and dimes that he can't help dropping. The goal: to present the ultimate bitch of a name to him, right before he takes the stage at Big Day Out. The side goal: to be invited to his after-party, where the hunnies and the... heck, what happens there is none of your business.

Anyways, to aid me in my World Vision-like endeavour, I have enlisted the help of Rap Star Name, Hiphop-Rapture and My Rap Name—flawlessly crafted rap name generators destined to produce a result that will send the bling to the ceiling. The ho to the down low. The jammers to the slammers.

The results, pronto!

Rap Star Name:


My Rap Name:

Shit. 'K fine, forget it. Dizzee, you got two months.

Dizzee Rascal - U Can't Tell Me Nuffin' (from Maths + English)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

your an idiot

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