Thursday, October 4, 2007

Big Day Out 2008: first lineup announcement

Dear Mr Branson,

How's Sudan? I heard they got great camel meat. Apparently if you grill it over a spit, and eat it with some of their corn (which I heard is pretty killer too), it's almost as tender as Kobe beef. Serious.

Anyways, you're a busy man, so I'll get straight to the point. You see, there's this music festival coming along in January. It's called Big Day Out. Now, usually it's really only two-thirds loyal to its name. Like, it's 100,000-people big, and it lasts the whole day in various Australian and New Zealand cities. But the lineup for the last couple of years hasn't really been all that out. Oh, it had White Stripes, Franz Ferdinand, The Killers, My Chemical Romance, Muse, Magic Numbers—decent-sized names, sure, but nothing truly historical. Nothing out.

But then there's Big Day Out 2008. And Mr Branson, this year, it's OUT. You see, there's a band called Rage Against The Machine that will be playing their first ever gigs outside America ever since their reunion this year. That's history. Then there's this other band called Arcade Fire, who have revived my passion to bash motorcycle helmets. That's history too.

And you know all about history right? So you'll totally feel me when I say that those two bands, plus Bjork, Battles, LCD Soundsystem, Grinspoon, Hilltop Hoods, Sarah Blasko, Billy Bragg, Paul Kelly, Dizzie Rascal and so on and so forth (and that's just the first announcement, with rumours of Smashing Pumpkins and Queens Of The Stone Age also coming)—all of them are making history.

But what's history made if there's no one to share it with? Which is where we, the Pirates of the Bargain Bin, together with a few supportive chums, come in. You help the needy, and we need to go to Big Day Out. And since you recently just gave some Dutch greeny company €500,000, we figure that just 1% of that would be more than enough. Just to pay for our flight and ticket. We're willing to eat each other to skimp in the food department. And we reckon kangaroo pouches can fit at least our bottom halves during bedtime.

What's our worthwhile cause, you ask? Well, we've always thought of ourselves as freedom fighters. Pro-democracy revolutionaries. Anti-slavery battlers. World peace. No hunger. Death to malaria. Life to polar bears. Eternity for...

Dude, give us the money, and I'll paint my car red and tattoo 'I love Virgin' on my ass.

Pirates of the Bargain Bin


Rage Against The Machine - How I Could Just Kill A Man (from Renegades)
Bjork - Vertebrae By Vertebrae (from Volta)
Arcade Fire - Windowsill (from Neon Bible)
LCD Soundsystem - Get Innocuous! (from Sound of Silver)
Grinspoon - What You Got (from Alibis and Other Lies)
Hilltop Hoods - The Nosebleed Section (from Calling)
Sarah Blasko - Always Worth It (from The Overture & The Underscore)
Paul Kelly - You're Learning (from Foggy Highway)
Dizzie Rascal - Wanna Be (from Maths & English)
Battles - Race: Out (from Mirrored)
Billy Bragg - A New England (from Life's a Riot with Spy Vs Spy)


Alice said...

That's not how you spell Dizzee Rascal.

Eddie said...

MEGALOLZ. I just caught the lineup too...would love to escape dirty Coventry for a weekend. Fancy blaggin' your mate Eddie a ticket too?

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