Wednesday, December 26, 2007

2007 List Wrap Up: 8 Top Albums Heard in 2007 That Were Released in 2006

So since there are precisely 850,958,234 albums released every year, and because no one not named Yearsoll O. Vermaiass can possibly listen to them all, I have two solutions. One, buy my newly released 96-disc changer, which comes with ultra fast play mode that allows playback for up to 18 albums an hour. Two, just listen to them the following year. And the one after that. And the one after that. And the one…

I make so much sense, sometimes I think I should start my own bank.

Augie March – Moo, You Bloody Choir

In a just world, I'd have 19 hands, Zhang Ziyi would massage my 20th, and 'Bottle Baby' would be this generation’s 'The Drugs Don't Work', The world sucks balls.
Augie March – Bottle Baby

Trespassers William – Having

There's no autumn in my country. The day after hearing Having, I blasted my kitchen and installed a leaf blower. Entrance is six bucks, or a moulting swan.
Trespassers William – And We Lean In

The Concretes – In Colour

I’m a sucker for sugar.
The Concretes – Your Call

The Postmarks – The Postmarks

See above.
Postmarks – Weather the Weather

Jeniferever – Choose a Bright Morning

Someone told me the beef from Ikea’s Swedish meatballs actually comes from Jinjang. I’ve since sold my family, bought three cows and moved there. Gotta go where the goods are at, y’all.
Jeniferever – Alvik

Fratellis – Costello Music

Scotland needs to qualify for the next World Cup. That way, I too can pretend to sing ‘Chelsea Dagger’ like a bona fide kilt-wearing haggis muncher.
Fratellis – Flathead

Caroline – Murmurs

The next time a silky-haired, doll-faced Jappy-American girl in a green baby doll dress performs and giggles while fiddling with a laptop and referring to “bitch” as “the B-word”, call me. I still staple my butt cheeks as punishment for missing it the first time around.
Caroline – I’ll Leave My Heart Behind

Sway – This Is My Demo

Who the heck rhymes “vagina” with “spectacles”? Mr Safo must have seen one of those Britney shots deemed TNSFWorPorSorAFT.
Sway – Hype Boys

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