B-Side of the Week - Never Never

The Libertines
Never Never (from the Can't Stand Me Now single)
(Rough Trade Records)

There are lots of things that will never happen again.

Good things like beating the discipline teacher with the end of a broomstick until he returned me my comics, now that's something that'll never happen again. Picking up the Nissan Murano that changed lanes without signal and throwing it off the flyover while the sky burst into fireworks and everyone said "Happy New Millenium" is probably something that will never happen again. Here's another fond memory - flying into a bloodlust rage and biting off the heads of invading barbarians at the beach while a hundred fleets turned back and sailed home in terror is likely to be among the things that will never happen again.

Ah such fond memories. I remember that time when I slaughtered a pack of wolves with a fishbone just as they attacked a tribe of Cheyennese women. And that time when I shielded a wounded child from a marauding pack of Pyrenean Ibex, that will probably never happen as well, considering that the Pyrenean Ibex is, alas, now extinct. That would be a sure never never now. I know another sure never never.

A new Libertines b-side. Yep. Never. If you're hunting for things that will never happen again, that's the page you wanna bookmark. Nevermind how hopeful you are. It'll never happen again. Don't expect. Don't hope. Don't even think about thinking about thinking about it. It's history, and old history at that. So it's like, never ever. Like, never never never never never. Geddit?

The Libertines - Never Never