Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Carol for the Week: O Holy Night

I reckon that when Adolphe Adam composed this song, he wasn't thinking of Christmas, or Christmas eve. He was thinking of 24th April. Why 24th April? Because that was when my three pet anacondas graduated from their year long internship as altar boys and the Church of The Most Constricting. I celebrated with them by stealing my neighbour's 16 gerbils and sharing it equally. 16 divided by three, you say? Of course not! What, you think I eat steak and potatoes? Gerbil casserole is my specialty.

What a holy night.

South Park - Oh Holy Night
(from Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics)
As far as Cartman is concerned, that hallowed evening finds its utmost purity in 'em darned presents. Clever punk, he is.

Umbrellas - O Holy Night (from A Santa Cause, Vol 2)
Straight from the Militia Group stable comes an indie spectacle that sways in Act 1, bellows in Act 2 and skips home through Irish meadows.

The Pikachu Death Ray Explosion - Oh, Holy Night (from Christmasasaurus)
The sheer initial terror of an angelic visitation often goes unnoticed by ye ol' Yuletide romantics; trust this lot to capture it succinctly in 27 fuzzy, frenzied seconds.

Tracy Chapman - O Holy Night (from A Very Special Christmas 3)
Chapman's three-note hummed interlude alone is worth the byte space; the fretless bass solo will even make the stars kneel.

Denetria Champ - O Holy Night (from This Christmas soundtrack)
The token diva-belting rendition of this two-octaved opus gets due representation from Oprah's latest fab femme.

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