Saturday, July 26, 2008

Sunburst 2009 to feature Pearl Jam and possibly RHCP?

Yes, our super ultra alien-busting, orc-chopping, chicken-boiling, pork-barbecuing informer has let us in on a secret that the organizers of the fairly successful Sunburst festival this year are planning an even bigger show next year. So how do you take it up a notch from Incubus and John Legend? Simple, Pearl Jam and possibly Red Hot Chili Peppers.

But of course, the organizers failed to turn to me for some advice on how to take it up a notch proper. I mean if you serious want to take it up a notch then all you really need to do is to just give every one who comes to the festival a rack of roasted lamb, an out-of-print Lion-O toy from the original product line and a limited edition Megan Fox rubber doll. Then it won't matter even if you got Barbra Streisand in to sing the whole of that Hoobastank album, people would still come.

What did you say? What if someone doesn't want the rack of lamb, hates toys and is not a fan of Petra? God darn-it shoot the damn thing will you!!! It's a damn alien ... arrrgghhhh ... shoot it!!! ... aim better you ninny ... oh no ... god help us, it's too late!

News update: The world has been lost. It's been 39 days since the invasion and it looks like all hope is officially gone. Earth isn't planning on mounting a proper attack anymore and appears resigned that we will be a species of slaves that will never see the juicier side of a piece of beef rib anymore. Or the juicier side of Megan Fox's rib for that matter. God help us all.

Pearl Jam - Black (from Ten) [BUY]

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

yawnnn borrinnnnggggg..

Web Analytics