Look what I found in the bargain bin

The Elected
Me First
(Sub Pop)

Price: AU$5.00

You know how people have that "Everytime I walk into a shop I must buy something" syndrome? I don't have that. Heck, the only reason I bought this album was because of the pig on the cover. The porker was even embossed. It had me at "oink".

But I digress. As I was saying, I don't suffer from that syndrome. Indeed, I'm quite immune to most of life's crippling syndromes. I have no subconscious desire to reorganise my t-shirts in order of tone, or an uncontrollable urge to walk in between the lines of floor tiles, or an unexplained predilection towards animals with furry ears.

My family doctor begs to differ though. He says I have a tendency to crash my 18-wheeler into grandpas who eat lollipops while scratching their nipples. But they haven't found a term for that, so it doesn't count, I told doc. Then he pulled out a Chupa Chup and lifted his hands to his chest. His kneecaps have been lodged in my bumper for three weeks now. Still don't know what he was talking about.

The Elected - Don't Blow It (from Me First)