Soapbox - The Black River

One day, Dog, Cat, Mickey Mouse, Roast Duck and Rambo were walking along a dark and murky river. Dog suggested that they cross the river, so that they could run freely in the meadows beyond. But Cat said he couldn't do it and refused to budge, insisting that life was better anyway on their side of the river.

Mickey Mouse said he would try his best, and in a melodramatic turn atypical of a Disney character, he proceeded to give a moving speech exhorting the other creatures to risk their lives for the promise of something greater. Roast Duck was undecided, but took it upon himself to test, among other things, the speed of the rushing torrent, the depth of the river, the salinity of the water and the potential risks of aquatic natural predators.

After two days, he produced a giant report outlining all the pros and cons of travelling, but he forgot to state his preference.

So Rambo ate him up. Cos he was hungry. I mean, tell me you wouldn't have done that?

Paul Weller & Graham Coxon - Black River

Next on Soapbox - The party cross the river to great peril.