Monday, February 18, 2008

Look what I found in the bargain bin

Brighten The Corners

Price: US$6.99

We Asians are proud of our chilli sauces. More proud than we are of our karate chops, our ping-pong proficiency or our universally acknowledged ability to climb down the trees on which our houses are perched.

Anyways, so I was bragging to my buddies the other day how there is no chilli in the world that can match Indian chilli. So one day, a buddy brought back a bottle of hot sauce from the States, and he passed it to another buddy of mine. That buddy then invited me over for dinner and presented me with that aforenamed sauce, called the Widow. "You should only take one drop," her husband warned. The bottle label reiterated that. One drop? One drop my Asian ass! Sure, I smiled. Why don't you and your wussy tongue take one drop, and I'll help myself to a dollop to go with my pork ribs and pota...

Sonofagun. It's been three weeks, and the sauce is still humping my tonsils.

So anyways, after that experience, I've decided to retract all declarations made about Asian chilli. I shall now move on to a new one: Asian bargain bins are the best in the world.

(another buddy comes back from San Francisco with Brighten the Corners, just for me)

Dammit. Ok fine, our treehouses totally rock, kapeesh?

Pavement - Date With Ikea (from Brighten the Corners)

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