When I was in school, I was famous for five things.The first was kicking other boys in the nuts. Yeah. I did that a lot. I mostly did it whenever they didn't stand in the canteen queue for me while I went and stole other peoples' homework.
The second thing I was famous for was stealing other peoples' homework. Whenever they made mistakes in their homework and we ended up with the same mistake and both got called to the teachers' room, he'd dob on me and I would catch the fella after school and make him eat marbles.
The third thing I was famous for in school was making other kids eat marbles. For the next three days, I would go to the toilets and listen to them suffer while they shat.
The fourth thing I was famous for in school was shitting. Yes, I would shit just about anywhere I liked, and while it irked the teachers, I've always believed that my algebra teacher secretly liked it.
How do I know this? Cos I used to catch her talking to my shit. We had an affair. Yeah, I was famous for that too.
The Shins - Your Algebra (from Oh, Inverted World!)
1 comment:
Surely you jest? All this business of marble-eating? You can't have been that bad. But the homework stealing thing....ah...novel. Everybody has done that.
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