Look what I found in the bargain bin

Pete Teo
Rustic Living for Urbanites
(Redbag Music)

Price: RM10

I've never forgotten my roots. I grew up in a small seaside town, populated by munchkins the size of Frodo's shoelaces. As such, I vowed early on that when I became a billionaire, I would never let any of my fellow townsfolk be demeaned by the Man.

So, fast forward 20 years, and I'm standing before some dusty shelves of a city centre pawn shop, and out pops this CD, sandwiched between Sugababes and Hear'Say. Something snapped inside. There before me lay the debut of a singer-songwriter who grew up in the same state as I did, and yet here I was living large in my 67-bedroom mansion, having made a fortune by selling village girls (because I always support the local economy), while his suave 2003 effort was being cheapened by the tasteless capitalists that sought to make blind profits at the expense of small town!

Consumed with rage, I did the only thing I knew: I bought the CD, burned the store down, decapitated the owners, and stole the toaster. Today, I play it while having my weekly Arabian oil massage session and eating Jamaican grapes. Lesson for the day: Treasure those memories, folks.

Pete Teo - Blue (from Rustic Living for Urbanites)