Let's get lyrical, lyrical: The Arctic Monkeys - Mardy Bum

Now then Mardy Bum
I see your frown
And it's like looking down the barrel of a gun
And it goes off
And out come all these words
Oh there's a very pleasant side to you
A side I much prefer

It's one that laughs and jokes around
Remember cuddles in the kitchen
Yeah, to get things off the ground
And it was up, up and away
Oh, but it's right hard to remember
That on a day like today when you're all argumentative
And you've got the face on

Well now then Mardy Bum
Oh I'm in trouble again, aren't I
I thought as much
Cause you turned over there
Pulling that silent disappointment face
The one that I can't bare

Can't we laugh and joke around
Remember cuddles in the kitchen
Yeah, to get things off the ground
And it was up, up and away
Oh, but it's right hard to remember
That on a day like today when you're all argumentative
And you've got the face on

Yeah I'm sorry I was late
Well I missed the train
And then the traffic was a state
But I can't be arsed to carry on in this debate
That reoccurs, oh when you say I don't care
Well of course I do, yeah I clearly do.

So laugh and joke around
Remember cuddles in the kitchen
Yeah, to get things off the ground
And it was up, up and away
Still it's right hard to remember
That on a day like today when you're all argumentative
And you've got the face on

Having a Mardy Bum is a sad thing no? I mean, there's actually very few things in the world worst than having a Mardy Bum. Itchy Bum comes to mind but at least you can scratch that. With a Mardy Bum, you have to wash, scrub it and spray some perfume before it properly goes away.

Oh sorry, was just talking to myself. I am doing this spell quiz thing so I am like so completely immersed in it. Yeah, not to say much but yeah I'm pretty good at it. My sis says I suck, but you know, sibling rivalry and all. It's quite cute really.

The Arctic Monkeys - Mardy Bum (from Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not)

In the papers today...

A Japanese single malt whisky has been declared the world's best by Whisky Magazine. It's the first time a distiller outside Scotland has won the prize. And in other news, the International Haggis Foundation received its first shipment of 2,000 kimonos, and uncountable amounts of sake.
This story reminds me of: The Spinto Band - Japan Is An Island (from Nice And Nicely Done)

Peru is slowly reclaiming its place as the potato capital of the world. It's 10,000 hectare Potato Park is home to over 600 varieties of potatoes. This is timely, as it comes in line with the UN declaration of 2008 as the Year of the Potato. Seriously, none of that was made up.
This story reminds me of: Sia - Sweet Potato (from Colour The Small One)



Yesterday America celebrated National Cubicle Day. Celebrated? Absolutely. You mean you don't throw daily three o'clock parties at your four by four with 18 strippers, a Yo La Tengo cover band and your line manager doing the limbo? No wonder you hate your job.
This story reminds me of: Broken Social Scene - Guilty Cubicles (from Feel Good Lost)

Fad of the land: Tennent's Mutual

There are three reasons why Scottish beer is unlike any other beer in the world.

First, look at the never ending stream of musical geniuses birthed from the throes of those smoky bars. The Braithwaites and Murdochs and Kapranos of the land seem to find little trouble in spewing forth those mighty fine tunes, no doubt birthed in between hearty helpings of that most potent spirit of theirs.

Secondly, you've got Lager 2.0. Scot brand Tennent's Lager has invited fans to participate in the organisation of a music festival through its new venture, Tennent's Mutual. A £150,000 fund has been set up, and those who sign up before 30th June get to decide on all aspects of the event's logistics, including who should be in the line up, where it should be and how much tickets should be. The advisory board includes the Rolling Stones' Andrew Loog Oldham and Babyshambles' Drew McConnell, and the festival is scheduled to take place in October or November of this year.

Thirdly, people who drink it become maths whizzes. They are instantly able to work out Pi to the 12 trillionth 345 billionth 981 millionth decimal point. They can solve problems normally reserved for Yale's Algorithms 901 class with the speed and efficiency of a German police car.

Fourthly, I drink it.

Link: www.tennentsmutual.com

Albert Hammond Jr - Everyone Gets A Star (from Yours To Keep) [BUY]

This Week's Track 9 - Blue by Elastica

There are only five things you need to know about Elastica.

1. Their debut album is called Elastica.
2. Their scene is called New Wave of New Wave.
3. They've been signed to twice the number of labels as they have albums.
4. Basist Sheila Chipperfield's family runs a circus called The Chipperfield Circus Family.
5. Justine Frischmann is actually a man.

Yes. She is. The same way the three-headed wolf with crocodile skin that lives in my cellar is actually a three-headed wolf with crocodile skin. Just yesterday, I released it to run around the neighbourhood. Bloody mess it turned out to be. I had police knocking on my door asking me if I knew anything about a dead two-storied T-Rex. T-Rex? What's that, some brand of dog biscuits?

Elastica - Blue (track 9 from Elastica)

Look what I found in the bargain bin

Terrorvision
Regular Urban Survivors
(EMI)

Price: S$0.50

There are some things in our existence that are so cheap, that we often don't think about whether we really want it or not. Take this album by Bradford's famous one hit wonders, going for a measly S$o.50. I mean, sure, there's only probably three decent tracks on this. But what else can I do with S$o.50 anyways?

Like a couple of years back I bought myself a pet Tyrannosaurus Rex. What? No they are not extinct. I am having to chase one off my backyard all the time. Damn pests. Anyways, it was going for pretty cheap so I thought why not. It was pretty cute when it was five months old so I named it Cutie. But now that it's fully grown, I can't quite figure out what to do with it. Occasionally I let her lose to chase the neighbours around, which is still pretty damn fun and funny. I have no idea why they seem to afraid of it. Sure, Cutie is about two stories tall and occasionally eats a cousin or two, but hey, people have to look deeper. She's pretty harmless.

Terrorvision - Perseverance (from Regular Urban Survivors)

Fad of the Land: Beemp3

I seriously like consuming things in small portions.

Which is why I like Beemp3. It's a site that aggregates from other sources, just like Hype Machine to give you a searchable database of mp3s. The beauty is that it actually provides you with the direct link so you can actually download the tracks off the site. Yeah, no more having to stride through a weepy post about a weepy blog just to get to that cool Dogs Die in Hot Cars track.

Sorry what was I saying before? That's right, yeah I do like things in small portions. Take coffee for example, while others do the conventional thing and drink it off a mug, I prefer to split them into 125 small little drop-tubes. That way, I can have 125 drops instead of one giant slosh. And some pork noodle seller once told me when I was 10 that 125 is always better than one, always. Is 125 Olivia Wildes better than one? I rest my case. The man was a genius.

Link: beemp3.com

Minipop - My Little Bee (from A New Hope) [BUY]

In the papers today...

Thai activist Chotisak Oonsoong is being charged with insulting Thailand's king by refusing to stand up when the country's national anthem was played at the start of a movie (as is practiced in Thailand). What the cops didn't know was that he wasn't really sitting down; he had simply lapsed into a coma upon discovering he was about to watch Norbit.
This story reminds me of: Radiohead - The National Anthem (from I Might Be Wrong: Live Recordings)

Health organisations are calling for the end of sex education programs that only promote abstinence till marriage. The reported rationale is that such programs aren't any better at discouraging premarital sex. The real reason, of course, is that they deny teenagers the chance to make condom balloons.
This story reminds me of: Neutral Milk Hotel - Song Against Sex (from On Avery Island)

Hard Rock Cafe has just launched its first theme park in South Carolina. Ingeniously christened Hard Rock Park, some highlights include a Led Zeppelin rollercoaster, a 'Born In The USA' section and a 10,000 seat amphetheatre. Nevertheless, early reports aren't good; sources say kids are crying at the sight of the Mick Jagger plush toy.
This story reminds me of: Belle & Sebastian - The Rollercoaster Ride (from The Boy with the Arab Strap)

B-Side of the Week - Culling The Fold

The Decemberists
Culling The Fold (from the O Valencia! single)
(Capitol Records)

I once met a boy
called Colin Meloy
err...
He walked by the yard
err... no no
He sat on the back
Of a shipbuilder's... errr... deck
With the seafarers down
In this peasantry town
You can hear our bard
Colin singing... err... nevermind
He is Colin the... hmmm.... ooh!
He walked by the yard! That's it!
You can hear our bard
As he walks down the yard!!!
Now I'm feeling so clever
More clever than ever
And travellers will hail me
And the... errr.... pirates will sail me
To be once in employ
Of Colin from Decemberists.

Ok, that was five bucks. I take IOUs.

The Decemberists - Culling The Fold

Gig-gles: Crossborders featuring Tabasco

Tabasco couldn't be more appropriate for this month's edition of Crossborders.

That's it.

What, do I have to qualify everything I say? You know, that's what I hate about this world. I'm just so sick and tired of this whole expectation to have a reason for what I say, or otherwise not say it at all. So what if I like saying things off the top of my head, huh? Who are you to demand for an explanation anyways? Who, the Pope? The Prime Minister of Madagascar? The Prince of Slovakia? Huh? Huh?

Tabasco couldn't be more appropriate for this month's edition of Crossborders because these Thai whoop-punk lads seem fully capable of instigating scenes of rambunctious hysteria, and prove that their country's love for yellow isn't also meant to describe their crimson red attitude towards rock.

Happy? Oh, shut up.

Details:

Opening Acts: The Times, Matematik
Date: Thurs, 24 April 2008
Venue: Laundry Bar, The Curve, Petaling Jaya
Time: 9.30pm
Admission: Free

Tabasco - I Luv Vodka (from Newbie Party Compilation)

Oh my dear bug-looking alien race ... Sigur Rós Live in Singapore in August?

With the luck this region has been having lately, it had to happen sooner or later. I mean, I am a firm believer in the concept that seriously, good things come to those who wait. I mean we've had a run of mediocre substitutes and pretenders but hey, we've finally stumbled upon the real deal and it feels darn good.

What? No, no I am not talking about Sigur Rós. What did you say? Them playing in Esplanade in August? What on earth's name are you talking about? What the heck is a Sigur Rós anyway? Some Hokkien dish? I was actually talking about Wendy's finally opening a chain here after over 20 years of being away.

Ah ... the life.

Sigur Rós - Olsen Olsen (from Ágætis Byrjun)

This Week's Track 9 - Transistor, No Way by Emily's Sassy Lime

Five days ago, I arrived home after work and my food processor asked me for 20 bucks. something about going out to the movies with a date. I said "blender, stuff you".

Four days ago, I woke up late. When I woke my alarm clock and asked it what happened, he asked me for asprins to nurse a splitting headache. I said "time-piece, in your dreams".

Three days ago, my memory stick refused to be read, and when I asked him if everything was okay, he said he wanted the new Jaguar XF one week upon its local release date. I told him "thumb, suck on it".

Day before yesterday, my mosquito racket broke down the door of my den, took the chainsaw and threatened me with certain mutilation if I didn't take down my newly bought Dali original, to which I said "zapper, buzz off".

And so it culminated yesterday when I was interrupted mid-dinner by my radio, who threw a plate down and said "if you don't give me a viable alternative to your gross Korean pop, i'm gonna start playing Barbra Streisand's Memory on infinite repeat!". To which I said "transistor, no way". And that jerk had the gall to start up the Babs number. good thing I smashed it to pieces before the first note.

Maybe he misunderstood me. I actually meant this song.

Emily's Sassy Lime - Transistor, No Way (track 9 from Desperate, Scared, But Social)

Sick Of It All Live in Malaysia: May 25th

Buzz ... (radio static)

Announcer:

Now I look down the harbor. All manner of boats, overloaded with fleeing population, pulling out from docks. Streets are all jammed. Noise in crowds like New Year's Eve in city. Wait a minute ... The ... the enemy is now in sight above the Palisades. Four — four great machines. First one, a tattooed bald headed mean SOB is crossing the river. I can see it from here, wading ... wading the Hudson like a drunken idiot that's had too many Snack Plates in a mosh pit.

A bulletin is handed me...

Tiger beer cans are falling all over the country. One outside of Tanjung Malim, one in Sentul ... Jinjang ... seem to be timed and spaced ... all in May to take over this country.

Now the first machine reaches the shore. He stands watching, looking over the city with a bottle of Bud in his hand. His bald, cowlish head is even with the skyscrapers. He waits for the other baldies. They rise like a line of new towers on the city's west side ...

Now they're lifting their hairy tattooed hands. This is the end now. Hair comes out ... black armpit hair, drifting over the city. People in the streets see it now. They're running towards the Klang River ... thousands of them, dropping in like rats.

Now the hair's spreading faster. It's reached Times Square. People are trying to run away from it, but it's no use.

They're falling like flies.

Sick Of It All - Step Down (from Scratch the Surface)

The seven worst Malaysian band names

One day, I was in McDonalds buying a McChicken value meal for dinner. Then, as I walked up to the counter, I was greeted with the most gorgeous cashier that history had ever known. Her hair flowed down from the peaks of Mt Zion. Her hands caressed the till like a pair of Manolo Blahniks. Her lips puckered with more volume than a Wikipedia entry on Metroid.

And her name tag read "Pimply Assia Smith".

I looked her name tag, and before she could say, "And would you like fries with that?", I walked out the restaurant, and kept walking until I reached Uranus, where I then knelt down and begged for Galactus to eat me up. Then I went home and ordered a Hawaiian pizza.

Having a piss-bad band name is like that, y'all. And so while we're not saying that all the bands listed below suck (some do, but we're sure your uber-hip ears will differentiate), we are insisting that the suckness factor coulda been dialed down a skivy had somebody checked Thesaurus.com before replying those prom night organisers.

Qings and Kueens
Whoever said that "Qi" and "Qat" are the only two words in the world that don't need a "u" after the "Q"? Scrabblenerds worldwide, please drop these chaps a thanq you note.
Qings & Kueens - We're Gonna Rock You (from Royal Sessions EP)

Altered Frequency
Ah yes, it makes complete sense that a Christian band would be dissatisfied with frequencies. Especially the bits around that 3 kilohertz bandwidth; positively demonic.
Altered Frequency - Running Back To You (from Exalt)

Pop Shuvit
Sometimes, when I too feel the need to announce that I'm throbbing with attitude, I simply put a couple of badass words together. So check this latest grouping out: hamncheese. See what I mean.
Pop Shuvit - Skaters Anthem (from Take It & Shuvit)

Broken Scar
Oh brutal life! How heavy hath thine hand come upon me, to puncture this tender scar of mine once more! May my ditties smite thee with the smitiest of smites!
Broken Scar - Down (from Midnight In St. Kilda)

Dragon Red
Fifi my pet dragon would like to issue an official statement that not all members of his species are as red as him. Meanwhile, I have painted Fifi olive green to help prove his point. I'm supportive like that.
Dragon Red - Fade Away (from self-titled EP)

Tempered Mental
Band boy: Look ma, I can change time signatures and shred like Steve Vai!
Ma: Look son, D- on your Pun Coining 101 paper!
Band boy: Oh ermm.... Look ma, paradiddles!
Tempered Mental - Open (from The View From Here)

X-Cited Screamers
OMG OMG OMG!!! I'M SO FREAKING XTREME I THINK I'LL XTERMINATE ALL XCESS LETTERS FROM MY XCELLENT BAND NAME!
X-Cited Screamers - Know (from Start The Engine)

Look what I found in the bargain bin

OST
Thumbsucker
(Hollywood)

Price: RM9.90

I have many bad habits.

One of the foremost is of course chewing on my finger nails, which remains a cherished and useful habit, particularly when I am on long drives alone or when it's at the end of the month and Louie from the coffee place down the street from my house won't hand me 4-day old bread anymore.

What most don't know is that when I was heck of a lot younger, I also had a habit of sucking on my little toe. Yeah, I've never been one to go the easy route and suck thumbs cause that would be physically far too easy. I decided that the little toe was the way to go. I used to suck it even when I was walking in a mall. And yes I know you're wondering, 'How the heck do you do something like that?' I am proud to admit that I did it. Wasn't easy. Not many people in the world can go browsing around Kiki Lala while sucking on their left little toe but hey, I take great pride in doing things that other people can't do. Like making nuclear bombs from shredded paper and breeding super-powerd zombies.

The Polyphonic Spree - Move Away and Shine (In a Dream Version) (from OST Thumbsucker)

New Release: The Cobalt Season - Fragile Iconoclast

So I was hiking one day with a friend, when he suddenly turned to me and asked, "What's the difference between indie and Christian indie?" I stopped, turned to him and looked puzzled. He outlined the evolution of the subgenre from its Keith Green/Leigh Nash roots, through the Sufjan-Innocence Mission peaks and up to today, where the likes of The Cobalt Season could incorporate the lushest strains of modern indie into their bible belt twang.

I still stared at him, puzzled. Sensing my bewilderment, he moved on to discuss the thematic variances and subtle similarities of Christian indie. He explained how tunes laced with angst and trepidation were usually neutralised within minutes via the boulevards of redemption.

I continued to look at him, still puzzled. After a while, he realised he wasn't getting through, so he asked me why I was looking at him puzzled. To which I replied, "Is that a cicada drinking cafe latte in your nostrils?"

Puzzling stuff. I'm still stumped.

Track list:

1. Coming of Age
2. Water Rising
3. You Might Not Know You’re Home ’til You’ve Landed
4. You & I
5. Time Will Tell
6. Tick Tock
7. Disappear

Macy Gray - Live in Malaysia?

Word on the ghetto (and by ghetto I mean that storm drain behind my house) has been buzzing about a possible show by new-school soul queen Macy Gray in one popular highland resort here in Malaysia as part of some hip-hop fest thing. No other details except this to report at the moment but you can be sure we will try and bring more love as soon as we get some. Which in that context, may be never.

Hey graphics guy, yeah you, the one with the mustache and flannel shirt. I asked for a pic of Macy Gray dude. What the heck you giving me a pic of a lion for? What? Say again?

Oh ...

Macy Gray - Time of My Life (from OST 8 Mile)

Word for the Week: Hammer

Because...

Two-thirds of the Pirates bought themselves a life hammer, which is essentially a funky device meant to save your life in the event of a car accident. The other third? Well, he was about to order one too, but then his hammerhead shark wife wouldn't have any of it. She's got a pretty steady track record of bashing car windows, so I guess she has a point too.

Clap Your Hands Say Yeah - Arm & Hammer (from Some Loud Thunder)
Coagulated fuzz copulates with acoustic twang to hatch a premature indie embryo. God bless the deformed.

Sparklehorse - Hammering the Cramps (from Vivadixiesubmarinetransmissionplot)
Apparently, flying dogs, little cars and aloof captains make noise. Lots of it.

Cypress Hill - Cock the Hammer (from Black Sunday)
Reliable sources tell me these guys are rapping about a hammer named Cock. Or seriously kinky porn. Gotta be one or the other.

Caribou - Hello Hammerheads (from The Milk of Human Kindness)
Dwelling at the foot of audible frequencies, Dan Snaith reveals why he left "her". Why? Just because.

Garbage - Hammering In My Head (from Version 2.0)
A rush of Shirls to the head.

In the papers today...

Korea might soon declare dogs in the same category as livestock. This essentially legalises the already-accepted consumption of dog meat, which apparently can be bought from between 120,000 won to 200,000 won (US$120-200). There's a pun somewhere in there about hot sausages, oblong bread and ketchup. Gimme a sec to figure it out...

This story reminds me of: Firewater - Three-legged Dog (from The Golden Hour)

Since the arrest of the polygamist Mormon sect in Texas, Time magazine contemplates the issue of what to do with the 416 children from that home. According to the article, "most have never... worn contemporary clothes". Well, neither has Win Butler, but I thought he turned out alright.

This story reminds me of: Frog Eyes - One In Six Children Will Flee In Boats (from The Golden River)

Tiger Woods will be out for four weeks to undergo surgery to his left knee. It's the second surgery he's had to his knee. It's also the second time that golfers round the world remember they own a trophy cabinet.

This story reminds me of: Ceasars - Paper Tigers (from Paper Tigers)

Look what I found in the bargain bin

Pete Teo
Rustic Living for Urbanites
(Redbag Music)

Price: RM10

I've never forgotten my roots. I grew up in a small seaside town, populated by munchkins the size of Frodo's shoelaces. As such, I vowed early on that when I became a billionaire, I would never let any of my fellow townsfolk be demeaned by the Man.

So, fast forward 20 years, and I'm standing before some dusty shelves of a city centre pawn shop, and out pops this CD, sandwiched between Sugababes and Hear'Say. Something snapped inside. There before me lay the debut of a singer-songwriter who grew up in the same state as I did, and yet here I was living large in my 67-bedroom mansion, having made a fortune by selling village girls (because I always support the local economy), while his suave 2003 effort was being cheapened by the tasteless capitalists that sought to make blind profits at the expense of small town!

Consumed with rage, I did the only thing I knew: I bought the CD, burned the store down, decapitated the owners, and stole the toaster. Today, I play it while having my weekly Arabian oil massage session and eating Jamaican grapes. Lesson for the day: Treasure those memories, folks.

Pete Teo - Blue (from Rustic Living for Urbanites)

This Week's Track 9 - Cast A Hook by Laura Veirs

Laura Veirs: My love... let me stroke you here.
Mop: I'm tired.
Laura Veirs: Drink deep, my love, for I'm lonely. We can do some wrecking here.
Mop: Dowan.
Laura Veirs: The paddles of night are unfolding...
Mop: Stop quoting yourself.
Laura Veirs: You're cruel. I'm not dead.
Mop: Take off your glasses and go to bed.
Laura Veirs: ...not numb, not withering.
Mop: Get your hands off me.

Laura Veirs - Cast A Hook (track 9 from Saltbreakers)

Fad of the Land: Muxtape

I've made some killer mixtapes in my time. When I was 12, I combined avocado, carrot and apricot with a copy of Vitalogy, and blended it to throat-soothing perfection. Then when I turned 21, I took my cousin's Abbey Road reissue and added cranberry juice, turkey breast and my uncle's nine iron. I'm telling you, it was fully swingin', mate.

Huh? Whaddaya mean I got the concept wrong all this while? What, you mean I was actually suppsoed to listen to those mixes instead of drink them with rib eye steak? Well how the heck would I know that! Sheesh. Fine. Go make your own mixtape at Muxtape. Supposedly, they're all about making and sharing digital mixtapes. The 'right' kind, so they say. Oooooo.

Link: muxtape.com

mixtapes and cellmates - Distance Blinding Lights (from If There Is Silence Fill It With Longing) [BUY]

Gig-gles: The Times Chronicles Showcase

Ah, the joyous decadence of going out on tour.

Well in theory is isn't seriously a tour seeing as it's a five date tour spanning nearly two months. Which is to say the members of Malaysian indie band The Times could probably get themselves hitched to about 560 wives, climb everest six times or go on an intergalactic space mission in Klandathu between dates if they wanted to.

But hey, we here in Malaysia take pride in our bands going out on tour, mainly because they don't. So like the 8-year old one-armed astronaut with asthma, we love to cheer them on. They have booked some pretty excellent regional talent for support as well. The retro poppy goodness of Couple stands out in particular.

What you mean you've never heard of the 8-year old one-armed astronaut with asthma who also happens to be a recovering alcoholic, has only eight toes, seven fingers, one eye, 10 bald patches, one lung with one butt cheek who saved a space shuttle crew by piloting a Fokker Friendship into space (never done before, can die) , evading an army of alien cockroaches in the process and fighting off horny Sectoids with a torchlight before plummeting his plane into a mountain because he forgot to pump gas before taking off? You've not heard that story?

It's a good story.

The Times - Konfrontasi Primadona 1965 (from Nada Melankolik Malaya)
Couple - Come Back Again (from Top of the Pop)
Laila's Lounge - Warm Cherry House (Unreleased)

B-Side Of The Week - The Age Of The Jellyfish

Jacuzzi Boys
The Age Of The Jellyfish (from the Ghost Ghost single)
(Florida's Dying)

Sure, Jacuzzi Boys might be one of the ugliest looking, fashionably vomit-inducing outfits out there. But I'll tell you something. I was out fishing one day and I caught a fish that was about 7 feet long. When I cooked it, it was the best tasting fish I ever set my tongue to.

A week later, I went fishing again and I caught a crab that weighed in 32 lbs. After an epic battle, I slew it and cooked it. And it was the best tasting crab I ever had.

Two days later, excited about my sudden burst of luck, I went to the same spot and cast my line into the same coordinate in the same lake. That day, I caught the biggest damn truck-sized jellyfish I had ever seen in my life. I murdered the evil thing and ate it. And it was the best jellyfish I had ever eaten.

Now if you're still wondering if I'm ever gonna link my fishing exploits to the fact that Jacuzzi Boys look butt ugly on stage, you really haven't been reading this blog long enough.

Jacuzzi Boys - The Age Of The Jellyfish

Ronnie Khoo releases music video

Let's get lyrical, lyrical: The Teenagers - French Kiss

We’re in my room
Watching dirty dancing
I didn’t get anything with Orlando Bloom
‘Cause I know you fancy him

If she was there
Your mum would say that everything is perfect
But she’s not
Let’s forget about her

God, it’s already the ‘nobody puts baby in the corner’ moment
And you’re getting emotional
Perfect timing for a ...

French kiss
On your soft lips
French kiss
You will love this

We’re at your best friends party
Dancing to Bro zone
In the living room
I get you a vodka red bull
And lure you in the kitchen

It’s quite smoky in there
Have a seat
We’ll have another drink
Have some crisps
We’ll have another drink
Have that cigarette
We’ll have another drink

God, it’s already 4 am
And you’re getting tired
Your eyes don’t lie
Perfect timing for a ...

French kiss
On your soft lips
French kiss
You will love this

Yeah I like French kisses. I mean, who doesn't right? Add a dash of cinnamon on your lips, some butter and beat a few eggs into your mouth before you start smooching. It's a food connoisseur's ultimate romantic act. Right?

Teenagers - French Kiss (from Reality Check)

Word for the Week: Grow

Because...

Every front-running music site seems to be growing. Like, major expansion, dude. Pitchfork pops a TV site, Myspace does an iTunes, Stereogum preps Videogum, and even Radiohead joins the social networking fad. You know what all this means, right? Yep. Pelicans are better than flamingoes. Messages like that couldn't be clearer.

John Lennon - Grow Old With Me (from Wonsaponatime)
Oh, the irony.

Hisato Higuchi - Grow (from Butterfly Horse Street)
Who knew the serene snowcapped enclave of Nagoya could spawn such a fiendish fuzz fiesta?

PJ Harvey - Grow Grow Grow (from White Chalk)
Polly Jean urges us to groo-ooh-oowww-www. She might feed us to the pythons if we don't.

Ms Dynamite - Seed Will Grow (from A Little Deeper)
Good to know that not all collabos with a son-of-Marley have to involve up-picked guitars and "ya mahn"s.

Metric - Grow Up and Blow Away (from Grow Up and Blow Away)
Sometimes you just gotta listen to hot indie chicks with skirts.

New Release: Jerome Kugan - Songs for a Shadow

I used to have a shadow friend. And you must be thinking, 'what a sad kid, to have not only an imaginary friend (Kundu) but to have also a shadow friend as well'. I can assure you, there's nothing sad about it. It's because I had so many friends that I decided that I should eat lunches on my own, watch movies on my own, not date ever and talk to my shadow friend.

Ah yes my shadow friend. Such soul mates we were. She (actually I have no idea if it was a he or a she but hey, would you rather your shadow friend be closer to Jack Black or Olivia Wilde? That's what I thought) would always follow whatever I did. It was almost as if she had telepathy or something. It was really quite freaky. Then I started to fall in love with her. I bought her flowers, chocolates, 1kg of choice pork cuts etc. But she rejected me. She would always stare blankly while I waited for a reaction. But then she continued to follow me around, mostly in the night. I can't understand women sometimes, such lovely but confused creatures. She is still following me around until this day, I am not sure what she wants anymore.

Track list:

1) I Like
2) Tomas
3) This Excellent Love
4) The Miracle
5) Flowers
6) Song for the Service Industry
7) Lightfalls
8) Mother
9) A Shadow
10) The Magic Word
11) The Little Cat Song

Pete Teo embraces the races

Pete Teo has set out to heal his country, one pretty Pan-Asian at a time. This Malaysian singer-songwriter has put on his Bob Geldof hat and embarked on a inter-artiste song project involving people of various colours and creeds. He's got artistes like Ning Baizura, Awie, Jacklyn Victor, Melina William and Attilia to sing snippets, and he's doing a video too, directed by Yasmin Ahmad and starring, among others, Tony Fernandes, Shebby Singh and Maya Karin. The end product will be released as a free download (the song, not the pretty Pan-Asians).

Well done, Pete. Let's see: singer-songwriter, actor, writer, racial harmoniser, Geldofer—pretty soon, you'll need a new wardrobe for the many hats you're wearing. Because everyone knows you must have a hat for everything you do. Like me. I just picked up raccoon bombing last week, and so I bought a hat yesterday. It's tangerine, with purple polka dots. Cost me just three bucks, and 15 raccoon rectums. Good stuff comes cheap, y'all.

Pete Teo - Who For You? (from Television)

This Week's Track 9 - Play Tough by The Apples In Stereo

When I was six, they used to call me a whimp. So I said to myself, "I'll show them!"

So I started eating three kilos of beef every day, doing five hundred bench presses before bedtime, running 22 kilometres every morning and lifting weights that were consistently three to four times my body weight.

When I was seven, they didn't let me enter primary school because "a grown man cannot study with children". So I said to myself, "I'll show them!"

That day, the school board discovered what it means to play tough.

The Apples In Stereo - Play Tough (track 9 from New Magnetic Wonder)

In the papers today...

Contrary to popularly held notions, child sex predators can't be fussed with social networking sites. Research in medical journals shows that they're more likely to pick their prey via chat rooms. Though I reckon that if they start improving their Scrabulous, the stats might sway a tad.

This story reminds me of: Efterklang - Prey and Predator (from Tripper)

Emo kids in Mexico are being bashed. Since a couple of weeks ago, a wave attacks have been taking place across Mexico City. Supposedly, these have been instigated by non-emo types who can't stand the gay-friendly fashion sense that often comes with the genre. No word on whether the Get Up Kids have started an emergency task force.

This story reminds me of: SUBS - So Fine Emo (from Down)

The Wall Street Journal mulls an all important question: at what age should your kid be allowed to start surfing the Internet? It is, of course, linked to another all-important question: at what age should your kid start downloading James Blunt? Man, it's tough growing up.

This story reminds me of: Faker - Kids On Overload (from Addicted Romantic)

Let's get lyrical, lyrical: Mogwai - Emergency Trap

Hum ...

Crackle ...

Ting ...

Ting ...

Tong ...

Buzz ...

Crackle more ...

Swoosh ...

Boom ...

Fade ...

Hey, wait just a darn second here.

Mogwai - Emergency Trap (from Mr. Beast)

Fad of the Land: Grooveshark

In a similar way to how Revver took the YouTube model and put dollars in the hands of video uploaders, Grooveshark has spread the wealth of the MP3-buying world. Moving beyond the iTunes song-buying template, the money that comes from buying a song will be shared amongst the copyright holder, the chap who put the song up for sale, and Grooveshark itself (the catch: songs have to be purchased first before they can be resold).

It's pretty savvy, I gotta say. So what inspired you lads to come up with this? Well, according to The Gainesville Sun:

Two young entrepreneurs decided that it isn't immorality driving the younger population to steal music, but rather convenience. Illegal downloading programs make it easy to listen to some good tunes.

Ahhhh... that makes such sense. You know, I said the exact same thing to the cops last weekend when they caught me driving a stolen ice cream truck. I told them that I had an unnatural ice cream obsession, and so my shrink advised me to keep a ready supply in my driveway, rather than have to make the trip to 7-11 every two minutes. One of the officers gave me a sympathetic look, and they were about to walk away, when six bodybags tumbled out of the back. For some reason, my reasoning that I was stocking up on organs so I wouldn't have to take the trouble to visit the organ donor clinic in times of emergency didn't sit well with them. Damn, they make some nasty prison cells these days.

Link: www.grooveshark.com

Citizens Here and Abroad - You Drive and We'll Listen to Music (from Ghosts of Tables and Chairs) [BUY]

[Update 8/4/08: Ben from Grooveshark notes in the comments that you don't actually need to buy the songs to sell them; you can just upload your own library. Man, this is even cooler than a rainbow popsicle.]

Gig-gles: Soilwork Live in KL - May 25th

I am a bit of a retro junkie myself.

Which is why like wine and cartoons, I prefer my metal old. And you might be thinking old school? Nopes. I prefer them old. As in 89-years old. Why? What do you mean why? Have you ever seen a 89 year-old man in a walker and dentures swinging an ESP guitar around while screaming a grindcore growl into the mic? Neither have I. But I imagine when I do, it would be like having sex for the first time.

Details:

Date: May 25th 2008
Time: 5.00 - 10.30pm
Venue: Ruums KL
Price: RM55.00 (early), RM75.00 (at the door)

Soilwork - Sworn to a Great Divide (from Sworn to a Great Divide)